Royal Correspondent
by OriginalMcFishie
Summary: Kslchen's 'By A Simple Twist of Fate' has a huge media-story bursting. This is those news reports. Mostly written from the desk of royal correspondents, here you'll get a glimpse of the media coverage. This story is contributed to by several well-known authors within the AOGG-verse, and is sanctioned by Kslchen. No spoilers, I promise all new news is in her updates.
1. The royal Mitzi

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
__Royal Correspondent, Associated Press  
__XX November 2011__  
_

**The royal Mitzi – Prince Ken's Barbie is Canadian**

Prince Ken has a new reason to smile. Six months after we learned Prince Ken's relationship with Lady Henrietta de Duras was in tatters, the Prince is in love once more – with a commoner.

Rumours of a new redheaded love have been circulating for some time. We can now name his new amour as 22-year-old Canadian NYU student Rilla Blythe.

We are only just learning about the Prince's new love interest. Originally from Toronto, she has been living in New York for several years, apparently working as a nanny and a waitress before enrolling in economics at NYU. With flaming red hair, and long legs we can see why she caught the Prince's eye! Miss Blythe seems to have a keen fashion sense, and a love of young children as the photo (right) of her with a young charge shows.

At present, it is not known how they met.

Little is known of her family or background. Rilla seems to a shortened version of her middle name Marilla, her full name being Bertha Marilla Blythe.

The palace is yet to comment.

* * *

_C__ollectors Corner  
__xxx November 2011_

**Mitzi doll sales spike**

Collectors have reported a spike in sales of Mitzi dolls in the last month. The collectors site Kovels, describes Mitzi Doll's as "Ideal's substitute for Mattel's Barbie doll. The Christmas toy to get in 1960 was the Barbie doll, introduced by Mattel in 1959. Stores could not order enough stock to fill orders. So Montgomery Ward asked Ideal Toy Co. to make a substitute that resembled Barbie. The dolls were sold in December 1960 and marked with the maker's name and the Roman numerals for the year. It sold for $1.27. Mitzi was sold again in 1961, then was discontinued. Many dresses and outfits were available that fit Mitzi." The recent spike has focused on red-haired dolls only.


	2. Twitter Report No 1

_To help keep on top of social media our royal correspondent gets a daily summary of royal news trending on twitter. This is a selection. All spelling errors are intentional, and have actually appeared on twitter. Twitter articles are created by very talented Oz Diva_

* * *

**FAO: Jordan Montongomery**

**Daily Twitter Report**

**#kensbarbie**

_OMG the thought of this is heartbreaking, Ken I love you. #kensbarbie_

_will she sit on the thrown? #kensbarbie_

_A she can't help herself #kensbarbie_

_No basic courtesy #kensbarbie_

_I'm jealous #kensbarbie_

_Legit? #kensbarbie_

_It's her life, leave her alone. #kensbarbie_

_Media needs to settle down #kensbarbie_

_Does anyone even care? #kensbarbie_

_I was so happy to hear Tatty had gone by the wayside, but this Mitzi doesn't sound any better. #kensbarbie_

_Bertha? Who could fall in love with Bertha? #kensbarbie_

_Princess Bertha? Give me a break #kensbarbie_

_Yay for Canada #kensbarbie_

_A nanny? Never mind long legs. I hope she has good child bearing hips, that's all the royal fam is interested in – breeding. #kensbarbie_

_Phwoar #kensbarbie_

_I wonder what attracted this uni student to the rich and powerful heir #kensbarbie_

_How long before we see her in playboy? #kensbarbie_


	3. The Canadian royal family?

_More from the media on our favourite couple. The People article is deliberately short – imagine lots of glossy photos and limited copy._

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp__  
__Royal Correspondent, Associated Press (Online Edition)__  
__XX November 2011_

**Ken's Cinde_rilla_ does the royal shoe fit? (updated)**

**Prince Ken in love!**

An unnamed source has confirmed rumours that The Prince of Wales' new Titian amour is 22 year old New York University student Rilla Blythe. Originally from Halifax, Canadian Rilla is in her final year at New York University.

Not much is known about the leggy Canadian. It seems they take care to not be seen together in public, but we have been able to obtain photos of her walking near her Greenwich Village apartment.

Associated Press' top investigators are searching for more details of this new relationship.

_This story has been updated to correct errors when it first appeared last week._

* * *

_People Magazine, Cover Story_

_XX November 2011_

_**The Canadian royal family?**_

Prince Ken's new love is from one of Halifax's most prominent family have been blessed with brains and beauty, pictured right enjoying a snow ball fight over the Holidays is Rilla and her 6 (yes 6!) brothers and sisters. The family are known for their good luck and all seem to be highly ambitions, let's meet them!

Rilla's Dad, Gilbert (pictured right) is Halifax's premier neurosurgeon. A specialist and regular speaker on the extra-cranial cerebrovascular system he's known for making this complex subject accessible through his use of humor and personal touch with his patients.

If you have an under ten years old you'll know Rilla's Mom, Anne (pictured left) she's the author behind the Rosemond stories! And, as if that isn't enough, she also is the lead lecturer in English Literature at Dalhousie University. All this and she still managed to raise a family of 7!

**Three beautiful sisters**

Pictured left: Rilla's sister Joyce with her husband Daniel and children Jake and Isabelle. Joyce and Daniel are both lawyers – Joyce at one of New York's top firms and Daniel at the United Nations.

Pictured middle: Diana with a close female friend. Diana is training to be a microbiologist at the University of Winnipeg

Pictured right: Anne with her boyfriend Gerald. Anne, who is said to be known as Nan to family and close friends, is studying for a Masters in Child Psychology at the University of Toronto.

**Three Handsome Brothers**

Left: Eldest brother, James, seen here with his father when he started his surgery residency at Dalhousie University. James lives with his long-term girl-friend Faith,who, not to be outdone by her husband, is in the second year of her GP's residency, also at Dalhousie.

Centre: We were unable to obtain a photo of her middle brother Walter as we went to press. He's rumored to have smoldering good looks and is said to be an expert on Russian history.

Right: Year book photos can be hit or miss, but this one of 19-year-old Shirley shows that good looks really do run in the family! Despite his feminine name, Shirley can be seen in the above main photo to have a good snow ball throwing arm. Perhaps Georgia Tech, where he's currently studying, should consider him for the Yellow Jackets!


	4. Mad Cow Disease - Palace at Risk

_This week's latest press coverage of our favourite (still unofficial) royal couple. As always thanks to Kslchen for letting me play in her world. And a huge thank you to my guest letter writer - Mrs Donnell and royal correspondent - TinaLouise88, thanks for joining in the fun._

* * *

_National Enquirer Twitter: NatEnq_

_November 2011_

**Mad cow disease: Palace at risk**

At the National Enquirer we are not afraid to bring to you stories that others aren't brave enough to publish, both current and from days of yore. In our April 2008 edition we highlighted a mystery first reported in 1870 where menopausal women from Avonlea, a small village on Prince Edward Island, Canada spontaneously turned into cows. As strange as it seems the women spent the summer as cows, enjoying the delights of the pastures, until they spontaneously turned back into women _without any clothes on_. Now it seems the British Royal family is at risk of a similar incident as Rilla Blythe, who is reportedly courting a serious relationship with Prince Kenneth, heir to the British Throne, is a** direct ****descendant** of one of the families involved in this strange tale.

The National Enquirer does not believe in coincidences. Could this be a bovine plot to take over the Royal Family? "I refuse to become a mad cow" Queen Leslie has been heard to say. King Owen is reportedly taking no chances and in installing cow grates at Buckingham Place and ordering in a good supply of hay in case it is needed.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp_  
_Royal Correspondent, Associated Press _  
_December 2011_

**Royal summer issue?**

Rilla Blythe, the unofficial girlfriend of Prince Kenneth, heir to the throne, is rumoured to be pregnant. She was overhead as she walked back from church on Christmas morning in deep conversation with her grandmother, her father's mother, Marilla Blythe* on the finer points of managing babies. A conversation in which she was most earnestly interested. Photographs show Rilla having swapped her belted coat for a new, more forgiving, empire line style, and holding her bag in front of her stomach as if to hide her growing condition.

The palace has yet to comment on the Prince's relationship with Rilla Blythe.

*earlier editions incorrectly reported she was talking to her Grandmother, her mother's mother, Bertha Shirley.

* * *

_Associated Press_

_December 2011_

**Top selling books for Christmas**

1: 5 weeks on the list, up from last week – Soul Surfer by Bethany Hamilton with Sherly Beck and Rick Bundschuh

2: New this week – Theodore Boone: Kid Lawyer by John Grisham

3: 191 weeks on the list – The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

4: 13 weeks on the list, rising fast – The Fearful Cake by Anne Shirley

5: 5 weeks on the list – Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen

* * *

_London Telegraph^_

_Letter's to the Editor_

_November 2011_

**Disappointed in the Mitzi**

Seriously? Prince Kenneth has yet another fling? And that's what Miss Blythe is to our sovereign as Buckingham Palace would have introduced her properly. I can't imagine His Royal Highness, King Owen, approves when Lady Henrietta stands in the wings. I wish you'd focus on a more legitimate relationship, not some hussy from across the ocean.

**Mrs H B Donnell, Aderley, Cheshire**

* * *

_CBC Canadian News for Canadians^^_

_Lilianne Brittonn Twitter: CBC-Lillianne_

_January 14th 2012: Last update January 14th_

**Canada's New "Princess"**

Breaking news, grab your Tim Hortons and listen carefully.

We have the inside scoop about Canada's new "princess"!

Ever since the news broke that a Canadian NYU student was dating the Crown Prince of England, everyone has been abuzz. Graduating from Halifax's top Grammar School our red-headed beauty, seemed to be all about the trends and rather popular by the number of photos we have uncovered.

From extra-curricular sports and clubs, our "Princess" was in it all.

With a social media on lock down, we know very little but this new photo that surfaced of her senior yearbook gives us some insight of just who Rilla Blythe is, or was when she was seventeen. (Starting Kindergarten at 5 as they do in Halifax, and with a rumoured summer birthday, she graduated at only seventeen!)

We now know from photos of various school dances and Prom, her high school boyfriend was Carl Meredith. Despite not attending the same high school or living in the same city, he accompanied her whenever possible. It seems that our "princess" is no stranger to long distance relationships!

Photo Right: In a striped sweater, smiling sweetly at the camera, with a mass of curly red-hair, Rilla is the epitome of 2007.

**Rilla's Year-Book Profile:**

**In 20 years, I'm going to be?** Hopefully be graduated and doing something with my life?

**Favourite Quote?**_ I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring. David Bowie_

**Favourite Class?** Does extra-curricular and spares count?

**What is your favourite band or music? **Anything from the 60's and70's really, I love it all!

Rilla appears to have been well liked by her peers, but how will she fare in the grand courts of Buckingham Palace?

Only time will tell.

It is safe to say though that every Canadian is rooting for her. Not to mention, every girl wants to be her!

* * *

_Associated Press_

_Blog of the Month_

_January 2012_

**A vision in Style by Pip!**

I am so over the top excited to be this month's guest blogger! I'm Pip, in my second year at FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology), with my own fashion blog _A Vision In __Style. _I'm stoked to have over 2 million followers! As a student, I do fashion on a budget and really admire someone who can make a fashion statement without blowing their student loan... so for week's blog I thought I'd feature someone who's doing just that – Rilla Blythe. She may have captured Prince Ken's heart (or PK as we know him in the sorority), but she's also captured my love of her style.

Here's some examples of why I think she's so fabulous,

1\. **Make the everyday fancy**

These cute cute boots (top right) look to be from Forever 21's 2009 line, but by replacing the laces with ivory colored ribbon Rilla has turned an everyday outdated pair of boots into a fashion statement. By swapping the ribbons she laces her books with (middle right) she gets an entirely new look, and manages to match the boots with the green of her new winter coat (which, by the way, I think is cut on an empire line, because it looks totally awesome, and not to hide a pregnancy. Give the girl a break!)

2\. **Accessorize to go from day to night**

Two more photos, this time Rilla is wearing what every girl needs, a little black dress. On her way to Uni (left) she dresses it down with low heeled boots and a sweater, and we see it again a few days later as waits in line outside Maracas, this time dressed up with heels and that gorgeous gold necklace – totes adorbs!

3\. **Know where to shop**

When the story first broke about Rilla being loved up with PK, I thought she looked familiar. A few days later I was at one of my fav shops, Angel Street Thrift Store and that's when it hit me – I'd see Rilla here, buying the most adorable military jacket. The girl know show to shop! Find a good thrift store in an affluent area, hit it after the new season's lines are renewed and grab yourself great piece of couture at a fantastic price.

**4\. Always make a fashionable choice, even at work**

I know lists are meant to be in 3's, but I'm such a rule breaker! And I couldn't resist including this photo of Rilla at work. She's wearing her uniform, but look closely and you'll see those cute cute boots again, and she's put her hair into a totes-adorbs chignon - so chic!, proving anyone can look like a princess even when you're a waitress!

If you'd like to be up on what savvy New Yorkers wear, search A-V-I-S to find my blog, or tweet me at Pip-Avis.

Laters!

* * *

_Next week: more from Twitter_

_Huge thanks to our guest writers: _

_^ Disappointed in the Mitzi - written by Mrs Donnell (who may not actually be from Cheshire)_

_^^ Canada's New "Princess" - written by TinaLouise88_


	5. Naughty Rilla - not so nice

_More of the worst from the press. Thank you to this week's guest contributors Mrs HB Donnell and Elizasky. As always thank you to Kslchen for creating this world and letting me play in it_

* * *

Associated_ Press_

_Latest Trends and Celeb News_

_November 2011_

**I'll be Aving that!**

Avocado sales have been on the increase as health conscious young fashionistas crave the creamy taste and flavor. Avocado is being added to everyone's' favorite sandwich - chicken, prawn, you name it, it goes with everything. Even NYU's resident "princess" favors it, she was snapped enjoying an avocado and bacon sandwich on campus last week.

**Brains as well as Beauty?**

Seems Rilla Blythe is not just a pretty face, she was seen leaving NYU library last week with a weighty tome called "The Rise and Fall of World Trade 1870-1999". With an understanding of world economics, perhaps she can advise Price Ken (her rumored boyfriend) on how to fix the global economic problems...

**Celeb Endorsement for A Slice of Italy**

Last week Rilla Blythe swapped her partying for a quiet dinner with friends at the new 65th Street Italian _A Slice of Italy. _Rilla, who arrived wearing a tight-fitting pair of jeans and red strappy heels that matched her handbag, and a beautifully embroidered blouse, was seen laughing and enjoying the company of two female friends. It is believed the girls started with a glass of champagne each before enjoying a selection of anti-pasta followed by heir signature _A Slice of Italy _pizza, before enjoying a traditional Italian tiramisu for dessert. We understand they also shared a bottle of Italian red wine.

* * *

_The Daily Tatter^_

_Letter to The Editor_

_January 2012_

Dear Editor,

As all the world knows, Prince Ken is dating a Canadian student at an American university. What you may not now is that Bertha Marilla Blythe is an ILLEGAL RESIDENT of the United States, having violated her F-1 Student Visa in a number of shocking and HIGHLY ILLEGAL ways. While her violations have flown under the radar for now, no doubt because she is a white Canadian, I am ready to reveal the SHOCKING DETAILS of Miss Blythe's flagrant disregard for the law. Your newspaper will undoubtedly be interested in this intelligence, as I expect Miss Blythe to be DEPORTED any day now.

If you wish me to elaborate on this highly interesting bit of intelligence in a piece for your publication, please contact me at this address.

Sincerely,

ElizaSky

* * *

_London Telegraph^^_

_Letters to the Editor_

_January 2012_

Dear Editor,

I reread my initial letter and I'm not sure why I wasn't understood.

The Hussy from Halifax continues to infest my news feed and I find the search into Miss Blythe's past an annoyance. Although, I do appreciate the tidbit she might be part cow. For shame! You edit my letter down to the bare bones to reprint that monstrosity? Well, let's repeat things, shall we? She's not "the one". Not only lacking in pedigree she appears to live a life of loose morals. She lives alone in a seedy flat, managing her own affairs around New York City without a legitimate escort! I am not fooled by the staged visit to a church. She hardly practices the Christian virtues of chastity, does she? Judging by the size of her family, it's a trait they all share.

You're intruding on a private family!

Sincerely

Mrs H B Donnell

* * *

_Heat Magazine : Online Edition_

_January 2012_

**Naughty Rilla not such a nice girl!**

Corr! Checkout those short skirts and killer heels. Heat Magazine has a COLLECTION of photos of Rilla's party ways. And what a collection! Short skirts? They look more like wide belts and don't leave much to the imagination!

The Palace must be beside themselves to hear that Prince Ken, once rumoured to be engaged to the lovely Lady Henrietta has been led astray by this wanton siren who seems to enjoy the "company" of several young men. That's way one to pay off the student loan! She seems to really enjoy it too! Just look at the way she chomps down on that kebab, it seems our Rilla knows how to wrap her mouth around a large piece of meat. Perhaps that's what attracted the young Prince in the first place. Enjoy what you can with this one Prince Ken, but don't bring her home to the Palace!

**Photo captions**

"Pretty in Pink" – A drunken smile from our party girl on the stairs of Bosa Nova Club also gives us a flash of the pink lace she has on underneath!

"Hello Boys" – Rilla with her arms around two male "friends" at the House of Yes (name of the club _and_ the girl perhaps?). She's looking at the camera but look at them checking out her assets!

"Sunglasses Please" – Rilla with her hand shielding her eyes leaving Freq as dawn breaks, like the Energizer bunny, this girl goes all night!

"Tequila Slammers" – Rilla posing beside a pyramid of upturned shot glasses – she certainly looks proud of herself!

"Strip Tease" Rilla dancing on the tables with two unnamed friends at Marquee, showing a bit of shoulder as her strappy top slips down.

"Hold Me Close" is there anyone this girl will not hug when out partying?– this time at The Get Down

* * *

_Twitter Update_

_January 2012_

**_#RillaWatch_**

Score yourself each time you see Rilla. _ #RillaWatch_

Eating an avocado and bacon sandwich at NYU – 2 points_ #RillaWatch_

Grabbing a coffee near Washington Square – 2 points _#RillaWatch_

Having pizza at the table next to mine! – gotta be 10 points, right? _#RillaWatch_

Picking up dry cleaning on my street- 5 points _# RillaWatch_

On the subway! – 15 points? _#RillaWatch_

**#_kensbarbie_**

This one's hanging around _#kensbarbie_

He should date a Brit _#kensbarbie_

Trash, pure trash _#kensbarbie_

Barbie knows how to party!_#kensbarbie_

Love a girl who can throw back vodka like that _#kensbarbie_

She can party with me anytime_#kensbarbie_

For shame!_#kensbarbie_

_**AT: JrdnMRoyalCorresp**_

The Prince and the Party Girl - read about Rilla's latest antics – today's edition of AP_#partyprincess_

UK's Heat Magazine more photos of Party Rilla _#partyprincess_

Never in our Palace - Britain condemns Prince's party girl _#partyprincess_

* * *

_A Vision in Style Blog_

_2 January 2012_

**New Year New Start?**

I thoroughly enjoyed writing for Associated Press at the end of last year. I was grateful to receive feedback that my style was somewhat informal so I thought I would try a more professional tone.

As so many of you enjoyed the reviews of Rilla Blythe's wardrobe, I thought that this week, I would write about her love of shoes. From boots to sandals…. I can't do this, how can anyone talk about shoes in a formal tone I mean SHOES! Sorry, you will have to put up with the real me!

What girl doesn't love a good pair of heels, and who cares if they are comfortable as long as they are preeeeeeeeeeety. Especially when you pair them with a gorgeous denim skirt like Rilla did in this recent photo. One reader asked me if she only wore one pair of boots. Of course not silly, I just featured them because I liked her versatility! So for that reader, and everyone who loves a good pair of shoes, here's just 3 non-boot delicious pieces of footwear I've seen on our _Cinderilla's _feet:

· Red strappy heels – these are gorgeous. Velvet straps, deep crimson red….look at how they cross at the ankle, drawing the eye to the shapely ankle and leg. Totally gorg!

· Sketchers are so cool. On point for fashion but oh so comfortable for everyday wear. Here we see Rilla in a pink sparkly pair, who said trainers had to be boring!

· Sorrels – I said I wouldn't include boots but these sorrels are to-die-for. Coming from Canada, Rilla knows how to dress for the winter, and these boots look great while combating the New York snow (and let's face it we've had a lot this season). Warm, comfortable and oh so stylish whether you're on the slopes or heading to the local for bread and milk as Rilla is doing!

Follow this link for more pictures of Rilla's great footwear.

**Dissing the Dirt!**

I've been visiting with my Mom's family in England over the Holidays and and they asked if now that I was writing for AP was I aligning on their view of Rilla Blythe. For the record absolutely, positively NOT. I've seen some pretty horrible stuff written about Rilla Blythe. I'd like to go on record stating that a woman has a right to wear what she wants, date who she wants and be her own true self, whether it's writing a blog in your own voice, or dating PK. I may critique her fashion choices (which, so far, have all been beautiful), but I will never criticize an everyday girl just because she falls for someone famous. #teamRilla

_My biggest challenge this week has been keeping the UK spelling for UK publications and US spelling for US publications. Apologies if anything slipped through!_

_Thank you to our guest contributors:_

_^Elizasky_

_^^Mrs H B Donnell_


	6. F1-Visa

_Hello! Thank you to ElizaSky this week's guest correspondent for the wonderful Mira Kasparian article. I have plans to keep posting this while Kschlen is out, so you'll get more of the media speculation while Rilla is questioned by the Crawford Drew... Thanks as always to Kschlen for allowing me to add to her "By A Simple Twist of Fate" universe_

* * *

_Mira Kasparian Twitter:MiraKasp-Slate^_

_Slate Magazine_

_December 2011_

Over the past few weeks, news outlets on both sides of the pond have been falling over one another to cover the no-doubt fascinating story of Prince Ken's rumored relationship with Canadian NYU student Rilla Blythe. While there seems to be little actual news value to any of these reports, certain fashion bloggers may have stumbled upon a bigger story.

Last week, the blog _A Vision in Style_ reported on an outfit that Blythe wore to her job as a waitress. While it provided no specific information about her employment, it is unlikely that Blythe, a Canadian national, has permission to work in the United States. If not, she may be residing in the country illegally.

Most international students who come to the United States for college enter on an F-1 visa. This visa strictly limits international students' ability to work for pay. In most cases, students are only allowed to work on campus and are limited to 20 hours of work per week. Some can also get permission to work in jobs related to their area of study, but service-industry jobs do not qualify. _"The types of entry-level jobs commonly open to young people — like waiting tables at a restaurant or babysitting— are strictly prohibited,"_ says Professor Mark Sheehan, who teaches economics and international relations at Columbia. _"An F-1 visa is for studying, not for working, and the government takes illegal employment violations very seriously."_

The consequences for working without authorization are dire. Immigration law states that students who work unauthorized jobs fall "out of status" the moment they begin their illegal employment. That means that their visas are invalid and their presence in the United States is illegal. If they accrue 180 days of unlawful presence, they are subject to a three-year ban from the country; a year of unlawful presence results in a ten-year ban.

The rules are complex. In recent years, colleges have outsourced many on-campus services to contractors, so that a student who works at a college cafeteria or bookstore may actually be employed by an outside company, rather than the university itself. A provision in the F-1 visa regulations clarifies that contractor jobs in university buildings only count as "on-campus employment" if they "provide direct student services."

These regulations make it very difficult for international students from working-class backgrounds to attend school in the United States. While it is possible to apply for a financial hardship waiver, it is extremely unlikely that a student like Rilla Blythe, whose parents are a surgeon and a best-selling author, would qualify.

Rilla Blythe's employment may be legal or illegal. In either case, the media frenzy around her relationship with Prince Ken will certainly draw public attention to other international students whose employment may have been flying under the radar until now. Whether the heightened scrutiny will lead to a change in the laws or to a rash of deportations remains to be seen.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp_  
_Royal Correspondent, Associated Press (Online Edition)_  
_XX December 2011_

**From rags to riches a first look into the post restaurant Prince Kenneth's Rilla works at**

The media has been fascinated with the story of the next heir to the British throne, Prince Kenneth apparent relationship with a lowly waitress. Rilla Blythe, a student at New York University, supplements her student loans waitressing. Associated Press have obtained exclusive photos of the restaurant the Prince's waitress works at.

(**Photo: Outside of Building) ** Rilla, running up the stairs towards the staff entrance, dry cleaning (presumably her work attire) in hand. From the outside, the building's opulence inspires. Corinthian columns give a sense of elegance, and the large glass windows are designed to let diners see out, without those on the outside looking in.

**(Photo: Main Dining Hall) **Spacious and calm, here the main dining hall has been set up ready a formal dinner. Note the flatware with indicates the tables have been set for a seven course dinner. The high ceiling room is decorated with photography featuring some of the most iconic cities from around the world with the table center pieces representing some of those cities famous structures. See on the right where the center piece is a miniature Eiffel Tower and the photography shows Paris at night. Photography and center pieces for this dinner were on loan from NYU's Tisch School of Arts graduating student's collection.

**(Photo: A row of staff lockers, zoomed in on 3 the middle one clearly shows the name "R Blythe")** Among the benefits staff can enjoy is a spacious break room, with lockers to store personal items

^This article is the work of the wonderfully talented Elizasky


	7. From the Twittersphere

_As you by now are no doubt fully aware, this story is an add onto Kslchen's wonderful By a Simple Twist of Fate. If you're not reading that this won't make much sense! (And if you're not reading it, do, it's wonderful) Kslchen's story is on hold for a few weeks while she has a well earned vacation. The world of social media, however, we know never sleeps. Don't forget, this is still happening on the same day as Rilla was due to fly back to the US and she is still being held by security. We will have to wait for Kslchen to return to find out what happens next, in the meantime, in the media….._

* * *

**#RillaWatch**

_AT:Austin 57_: OMG I have the BEST #Rillawatch – you won't believe it – 50 points! No 50 million points

_AT:Sk8rboi:_ ataustin57 I thought you were on a plane. What? Did you see her naked?

_AT:Austin57_: atsk8rboi –just through passport control. Nah, maybe it's only 50 thousand points….but it's good

_AT: sk8rboi:_ ataustin47 come on, tell then

_AT:Austin57:_ atsk8rboi I saw security stop her and take her away to the area where they question the crims #rillawatch

_ATsk8rboi_: ataustin57 Woah, that is good! Wonder what she did?

_AT:Austin57_: atsk8rboi Dunnno.

_Atsk8rboi :_ ataustin57 did you get a pic?

_AtAustin57:_ atsk8rboi nah was too slow Bloke next to me videoed the whole thing. Maybe he'll sell it to the press

_Atsk8rboi:_ ataustin57 missed out mate!

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp_  
_Royal Correspondent, Associated Press (Online Edition)_

_XX January 2012 15:00_

There have been reports on Twitter that Prince Ken's latest fling Rilla Blythe is being held at Halifax Stanfield airport by US Immigration. No details have been released as yet, but we are aware that she may have been working illegally in the US, something officials take very seriously. Stay with Associated Press Online for updates as they happen.

_XX January 2012 15:36_

Associated Press have an exclusive video of Rilla Blythe being detailed by US officials at Halifax Stanfield airport. Her serene look leaves us to speculate that this isn't her first brush with the law. More information as it unfolds.

_XX January 2012 16:42_

US officials have confirmed they have held Rilla Blythe for questioning over irregularities in her paperwork, but have refused to comment further. Latest releases on line as they happen #Rillagate

_XX January 2012, 17:15_

Rilla Blythe, the Canadian NYU student has allegedly been arrested at Hallifax Stanfield airport for immigration irregularities, pending investigation.

For those who haven't been following the story, Rilla Blythe went to school in Halifax, Canada is the youngest daughter of Dr Gilbert Blythe, Canada's premier neurosurgeon and Anne Shirley-Blythe famous for a series of children's books and short stories including the Averil series. She first came to the media's attention November, 2011 when rumors were confirmed that she was dating Prince Ken. While their relationship has never been confirmed by the palace, it is evident they have been cozy for some time.

Rilla Blythe has received a lot of coverage in the main media, tabloid press and lesser known blogs. The UK Heat Magazine recently published pictures of Rilla's partying , which leads one to speculate if her arrest was only to do with immigration or also had an illegal substance element to it, though nothing has come to light regarding that yet. She has also raised the prominence of a local New York student fashion blogger who has gained a lot of followers by blogging about how she thinks Rilla dresses nicely.

Little is known of Rilla's latest scrape but its fairly clear that with a history of wild partying and a familiarity with the wrong side of the law the palace will want nothing to do with her, which is implied by their constant refusal to comment on the relationship.

More information as it comes to hand. The Palace and her family have declined to comment

* * *

**Jordan Montgomery's Twitter Feed:**

_AT JrdnMRoyalCorres_: Rilla Blythe held at airport, details on line #kensbarbie #rillagate Full Details AP Online

_AT JrdnMRoyalCorresp:_ Exclusive video of Rilla Blythe being detained #kensbarbie #rillagate

_AT JrdnMRoyalCorresp_: Unnamed sources at US immigration confirm Rilla Blythe has been detained – more detail on line #kensbarbie #rillagate

_AT JrdnMRoyalCorresp:_ Rilla – the story so far – find the latest news via our online edition line #kensbarbie #rillagate

_AT AVIS-Pip:_ at JrdnMRoyalCorresp my blog had 2 million followers before I mentioned Rilla . #getyourfactsright

_AT AVIS-Pip:_ at jrdnMRoyalCorresp My blog critiques fashion choices of everyone in the media, not just Rilla Blythe ('though she does always look awesome)

_AT JrdnMRoyalCorresp:_ at AVIS-Pip Perhaps you'll now be able to write about how she looks in orange, ooo it clashes with her hair! #rillawatch #realjourno

_AT AVIS-Pip:_ at JrdnMRoyalCorresp I only critique fashion choices that have actually happened. Unlike you who seem to enjoy speculation based on nothing #realjournosgetfactsright

_AT JrdnMRoyalCorresp:_ at AVIS-Pip It will happen. I've seen her type before #kensbarbie #partyprincess

_AT AVIS-Pip:_ at JrdnMRoyalCorrep So have I. She's amazing. Always poised despite you pulling her to pieces. Those party pics were obvs photoshopped. You should be ashamed #teamrilla

* * *

**And elsewhere on Twitter ...**

_AT CBC-Lillian_ Reports have emerged that Rilla Blythe has been arrested at Halifax Stanfield for immigration breaches. We will comment in full when we have facts. #rillablytheheld


	8. We Are Not Amused

_Do you ever feel blue? Tired? Can't think? Overwhelmed? That's been me the last few weeks. I had 3 assignments due before July 1 and it was all getting on top of me (handed one in last Thursday, got a pretty decent draft of the second one done n the weekend). Anyway because of that I didn't post last week – really didn't have the head space to be creative, and when Kslchen wrote that brilliant last chapter I started freaking again – I can't think what to write, I don't have time, I can't do this justice, it's all too hard ahhhhhhh! And then this wonderful community came to my rescue, like a gift from the Universe. Without even knowing I needed rescuing, I received three vignettes to post from three amazing writers. This week's post has nowt to do with me. The wonderful Tina88 has contributed the Lillian CBC article; Mrs H B Donnell is back again with her very one-eyed view of Rilla, and the amazing __Alinyaalethia__ is come up with the voice of Mrs Weisz. Enjoy their words:_

* * *

_CBC Canadian News for Canadians ^_

_Lilianne Britton Tiwtter: CBC-Lilianne_

_XX January 2012_

It hasn't been more than twenty hours since Rilla Blythe was held for the question at the pre-clearance station at Halifax Stanfield International airport, when the images of being hounded by the press were released.

Driven by her brother-in-law Daniel Raine to her Brooklyn apartment, the duo was bombarded with the press. It was seen in the video of one reporter jumping on the hood of the car for a photo. Dangerous, and incredibly inappropriate, though I applaud Mr. Raine's reflexes while driving.

Clearly, these paparazzi's have no regards to safety, for the passengers or themselves.

This is the one photo that has sparked outrage across the nation. (Photo-Rilla being hit with a Camera lens)

Do these people know what personal space is? Clearly not. Surely there are boundaries and laws of about how close a paparazzi can approach you? Yet all we see is a disregard for privacy and safety.

It only gets worse as you watch the videos from TMZ. How you can hear Miss Blythe yelp in pain from the sudden blow. How you can see the tears threatening to fall from her eyes?

We can only wonder how Prince Ken will react when he sees the footage.

With no photos of them together, it is hard to grasp their relationship and what Prince Ken would do after such events such as these. Though it is safe to say, he would not be happy to have seen Miss Blythe being assaulted. Accidental or not.

Though not a moment later, an elderly neighbour appears and saves our Miss Blythe from the crowd, shouting _at _the crowd. She can be heard in the video shouting 'You awful men!', before continuing on with her warning about harassing young women and that they should be ashamed of themselves.

It is unknown who the woman is at this time, but it appears they share an acquaintance.

With Miss Blythe safely inside and soon back to her studies, we can only wonder of what will unfold for these two love birds. When will they meet each other parents? What will happen come May when Miss Blythe Graduates from University!

* * *

_London Telegraph ^^_

_Letters to the Editor_

_XXX January 2012_

Dear Editor,

I throw myself once more on your mercies, perhaps unpredictably so. If Miss Rilla Blythe of Halifax is a criminal then that SHOULD be plastered on your headlines. I, therefore, will refrain from commenting on the topic of your reports. Her pictures in those short mini-skirts and too-high heels is a constant reminder of what a broken world we live in and that our God-ordained Royals have lowered themselves to such a pedestrian class of heathens. Canadian too!

Our kind and gracious King Owen will have to address the woeful shortfalls of Miss Marilla Blythe now that her CRIMINAL actions are in print and on my television. No amount of Buckingham Palace goodwill will remove her tarnish.

I suspect the Palace to make their displeasure public soon.

Sincerely,

(Mrs) H.B. Donnell

* * *

_New York Times^^^_

_Letters to the Editor_

_Xxx January 2012_

Dear Sir or Madam,

When I left my native Hungary, it was made abundantly clear to me that I did so because we were under threat by Monsters. These people had no humanity and did not care for mine. Nor, indeed, did they care for anyone else's. I had thought, on arrival in America, that I had left such Monstrosity behind me. Imagine then, my Shock and Horror when Miss Blythe poured out her latest grievance -namely those at the hands of the Boarder Control – from the security of my flat. Plainly, I was mistaken. I knew something was wrong when Miss Blythe did not return at her arranged time. But I thought, aeroplanes get delayed. Plans change. Perhaps they ran out of salt to deice the runway.

What I did _not _think, until Miss Blythe brought it to my attention, was that we have come to a place in our history where it is acceptable to, without provocation, deliberately Bully, Belittle and Humiliate a _young woman_. And why? Because some journalist without the brains God intended for a rabbit got his facts wrong? So Miss Blythe supposes, and I can only suppose she is right.

As to what you were thinking, that I dare not suppose. I can only conclude that if such behaviour is normative – and I am assured by Miss Blythe that it is – the standard of professionalism has relaxed Egregiously since my day. And while I do not pretend to understand the rules to which the Border Patrol must hold itself, I can and do say that the fashion with which _we _comported ourselves at the height of my career was nothing if not polite and professional. Is this not America? Are we not civilised? Evidently not.

Would that were all! But it gets worse. Because after a gruelling experience at the hands of our Border Officers, Miss Blythe was Harassed in the most appalling fashion by our journalists. Because it wasn't enough, evidently, to reduce her to the status of Suspected Criminal, to question her _morals _and deny her her dignity. No, _you_, Sir, Madam, had to Publicise it.

Now, you will never hear me complain about the free press. It is a privilege to which I am deeply sensible. But when it is a question of Haranguing, Harassing and on occasion _Clobbering _a young woman in the back of the head for a story, then Sir, Madam, then you have gone too far. It is a poor thing when a stray cat behaves himself with better manners than the journalistic press, but such is apparently the case. He, at any rate, showed the solicitation and compassion you and your contemporaries at the Border Control so patently lack.

I send no regards and leave no best wishes. Indeed, it is my most sincere hope that we never again have cause for further correspondence. You have between you Hurt and Injured a sweet, innocent girl. I can only hope that, on reflection, you are thoroughly Ashamed of your conduct.

Dr R Weisz, New York

* * *

_Heartfelt thanks to this week's contributors. This community is rather amazing. _

_^ TinaLouise _

_^^ Mrs Donnell_

_^^^Alinyaalethia_


	9. Are Redheads Evil?

_Associated Press – Early Edition (headline news)_

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnRoyalCorresp_  
_Royal Correspondent, Associated Press_  
_XXX February 2012_

**Fraudlent Cinderilla's Screeches with Shame**

Rilla Blythe, who has been linked to Prince Ken, heir to the royal family was seen screeching at press earlier today. It is clear the pressure she is under from US Immigration investigation, is beginning to take its toll. Miss Blythe tried to hide her face from the camera, clearly conscious of the shame this charge brings to her, her family and, by association, Price Ken and the British Royal Family.  
Sources close to Immigration department have indicated that charges will soon be laid, and Miss Blythe deported before the month is out.

* * *

_Associated Press – Early Edition (printed on page 7)_

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnRoyalCorresp_  
_Royal Correspondent, Associated Press_  
_XXX February 2012_

**Editorial**  
As an expert on the current British Royal Family I have received many tweet and emails asking my opinion of this me association Price Ken has made. It's now time to share with you my thoughts. In my career as a leading, prominent, Royal Correspondent, I have had the privilege to follow Royal Families from around the world. While we are not meant to have favorites, I must admit to an especial love of the British Royal Family. Prince Ken's birth was one of my first assignments, and I've had the joy of watching him grow in readiness for when he becomes King. He's made mistakes, all young lads do, but nothing outlandish and he has always been thoughtful and considerate of his role, putting duty and honor first. Until this young Canadian want-to-be came on the scene. It's still not know exactly how Rilla Blythe trapped him, but it is clear her charms have blinded him to what she really is. Her lack of character has come to light in the last few days. Firstly, there is her arrest by US Immigration for Visa Fraud. This is a serious charge. A very serious charge. Miss Blythe has willfully flaunted the rules of her visa and worked as a nanny for her sister. In doing so, Miss Blythe dragged her sister into her subterfuge. Any subsequent charges that her sister and brother-in-law will face is entirely on her shoulders. Once can only hope that Immigration realize that Miss Blythe has been behind this and doesn't leave the two young children homeless while all three languish in jail. Secondly, Miss Blythe does not even have the good grace to accept responsibility for her actions. Tonight, when a group of reporters respectfully waited to interview her, she pushed past them, screaming and ranting that they had no right to be there. On a public street. And some of the things this reporter heard her say, dear reader, can not be printed here. As you would have seen in the photos I posted on twitter last night, it's clear she hadn't even bothered looking in the mirror before leaving home. I have found information that I am unable yet to print of previous liaisons of Miss Blythe's, it is clear she has been sleeping her way up the social ladder. Prince Ken, however, is a rung too far. With the US Immigration about to charge her, we can only hope that the time they will have apart while she languishes in jail will sever whatever ties she has over him. For this Royal Correspondent it's a break that can not come too soon. Prince Ken needs to find love with a lady of honor and intellect, not some media hungry gutter-snipe

* * *

_Heat Magazine_

_February 2012_

**Red Hair: The Evil Curse?**

Continuing with our series on the influence of hair color, today we are featuring the evil associations of Red Hair.

**A History of Distrust**

Medieval times warned of the dangers of associating with people who were redheaded for fear of being taken in by their scheming, distrustful ways. A 14th century manuscript noted that redheads are rarely faithful in friendship, more prone to infidelity and not to be trusted in business. Interestingly there were also rumored to have exceptional skills and wild ways in the bedchamber, leading preachers and moral leaders of the time to warn men to stay away from wanton redheaded women least they be drawn in by their lustful ways. "Better to live without woman, than be a slave to the rampant desires of the redheaded woman" has been seen on multiple historical manuscripts.

W**itchcraft**  
Throughout history, red hair has been seen to be a sign of witchcraft. The blood of a redheaded woman was often sought to add to the potency of potions and spells. While it was known that associating with the redheaded could lead to your ruin, crossing them could also be dangerous. Townsfolk therefore had to be careful not to be in their vicinity for fear they would offend them and be the victim of spells.

**Dangerous Red Haired throughout History**

While modern times would have us believe this is nothing more than ancient myth, it seems the stereotypes are not entirely without foundation. Ancient mariners spoke of the dangers of mermaids – all of whom had red hair – leading them into danger. King Henry VIII was rumored to be born with a shock of red hair. Although it changed to a brown as he grew, this red-haired start could be the reason he divorced and beheaded so many of his wives. His daughter too, seems to have a taste for murder. History tells us that Mary Queen of Scots was beheaded by Queen Elizabeth I for treason. And yet it could be read another way. Mary, innocently wanted to claim a throne that was rightfully hers, murdered by the red-haired pretender Elizabeth I. Even in mythology, red-heads are known for their evil ways. Thor known for his quick temper and aggression had a flaming red beard. And not only Thor, Genghis Khan was rumored to have a tinge of red hair in his beard. Are these all just ancient coincidences? A recent survey on the inmates on death row in US prisons found that 8 out of 10 had red hair, the same survey noted that women with red hair are more likely to be convicted of fraud, topping the survey on taxation fraud, immigration fraud and identity fraud.

Are all redheads bad? Decide for yourself. Our website list famous redheads throughout history. Vote and tell us who your favorite is, if you think they're good or evil, and why

* * *

_Associated Press – LATE Edition (printed on a page deep within the paper)_

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnRoyalCorresp_  
_Royal Correspondent, Associated Press_  
_XXX February 2012_

**Retraction**  
The earlier Editorial by Royal Correspondent Jordan Montgomery is retracted. Miss Blythe is being investigated but has not been charged by US Immigration. Associated Press is investigating how this entire piece, which appears to have been a draft not meant for publication, was printed. We apologize for any harm caused by this error.

* * *

_In case you're wondering, I may have made the 'facts' in the Heat magazine article. I'm pretty sure almost none of it is true (and I'm redheaded, so you'd better believe me or bad luck may follow...)_


	10. The Story Behind the News

**The Story Behind the News**

_A slightly different approach to this week's update, you'll see why next week. And some more guest correspondents. Thanks so much to Oz Diva and DW.618 for their contribution to our press coverage._

* * *

_Daily Mail, London_

_Rachel English Twitter: RachelE_DailyMail_

_XXX February 2012_

**Royal Romance Hots Up**

Rumours of Prince Ken's budding romance with Lady Hilda Brodrick, granddaughter of the Viscount Dunsford, may have some substance to them. Two weeks ago Prince Ken was photographed with Lady Hilda at the annual Dunsford Gallery Gala, that raises money for Great Ormand Street Children's Hospital. Now, this reporter has heard that two days ago Prince Ken attended dinner at the home of Lady Hilda's cousin, Mrs Francis Lloyd. While we don't know if Lady Hilda was in attendance, it would be a likely cover to enable them to meet again. It seems that the rumours of his romance with the Canadian, Rilla Blythe were either incorrect, or that relationship is well and truly over. As Miss Blythe is still facing potential charges for her alleged immigration fraud, the Palace will no doubt be glad that Prince Ken is putting romantic roots down in more suitable ground.

* * *

**_Jordan Montgomery's Twitter Feed_**

_AT JrdnMRoyalCorreps: Canadian wannabe party girl out of the picture. London newspapers report new romance for Prince Ken_

_AT AVIS-Pip: _at JrdnMRoyalCorresp can't you ever say anything nice? #teamrilla

_AT JrdnMRoyalCorresp:_ at AVIS-Pip Told you she would wouldn't last #wannabeprincess

_AT AVIS-Pip:_ at JrdnMRoyalCorreps and that's a good reason for vilifying someone's character? #teamrilla

_AT JrdnMRoyalCorresp: _at AVIS-Pip what's with the #teamrilla, not even Prince Ken cares about her anymore #HRHmoveson

_AT JrdnMRoyalCorresp: _at AVIS-Pip Or do you fancy her yourself? #collegeexperimentation

(several slanderous comments about Pip removed by AP's social media manager)

_AT AVIS-Pip: _Really? What are you, 5?

* * *

_Heat Magazine ^_

_Readers Comments_

_XXX February 2012_

Dear Sirs,

I read with growing dismay as you maligned red heads in general and Miss Rilla Blythe in particular.

A list of medieval superstitions is hardly proof that Miss Blythe may prove to be a problem for Prince Kenneth. I hope you are not implying that our impending king will be led astray by Miss Blythe that does not say much about him either.

The list of marvellous red heads is long and distinguished, Adele, Rick Astley, Lucille Ball, Boris Becker, Boudicca to name just a few.

Your scurrilous magazine is no more than scaremongering no doubt to sell more magazines, rather than writing ethical journalistic articles. I am beyond disgusted.

Miss Blythe has done nothing more than fall in love with Prince Kenneth, ie the most eligible bachelor in the Commonwealth, and who can blame her? I for one wish them well.

Yours very sincerely

Rachel Lynde (Mrs)

* * *

**_At _**_the desk of Jordan Montgomery_

_Associated Press_

_XX February 2012_

Jordon Montgomery started at the email he'd received from the Human Resources department. 'Internal Investigation, Subject to disciplinary action if claims found to be true'. Jordan didn't know how his personal diary had come to be printed. Yes, the tone wasn't what he'd normally print (it hadn't been meant for anyone's eyes but his), but he stood by his overall opinion. This Rilla Blythe was a strumpet intent on ruining the Royal family. He scanned the office, wondering which of his colleagues were being this. It had to be someone with access to ensure it avoided the necessary approvals to be sent live. Someone was sabotaging him. For what, the Royal Correspondent job? He knew people laughed at him for covering the royals. Said he'd taken this as he couldn't do serious journalism after his time covering the first Iraq war. But this job took serious diplomacy skills. Skills he'd honed for years working as a military attaché. He knew he'd be cleared, that wasn't what was concerning him. It was the 'intermediary actions pending outcome' that rankled. All stories had to have an additional layer of approval until he was cleared. And his latest submission had just been rejected. 'not to the standard of AP' the email read. He had sat through a meeting where his boss had described his recent work as 'substandard' he'd even said 'you're better than this trash, you know you are'. The humiliation built up with the suggestion of a different angle Perhaps report on the more positive aspects of the story. How about interviewing that fashion blogger, Pip Gordon and getting her views? You owe her an apology for your twitter rant – you really shouldn't tweet after drinking. A suggestion he'd planned to ignore…until his boss arranged the meeting for them to go together. Sighing he finished his coffee, and stood up. He couldn't even be trusted to interview a college blogger alone. He'd fallen very far.

* * *

_Letter to the Editor^^_

_New York Times_

_XX February 2012_

Dear Editor

I live in one the walk-ups in the same road as Rilla Blythe (I won't say which one, I don't want retaliation from the press). I have to live and function with the inconvenience of hordes of paparazzi on the sidewalk, blocking the entrance, making life very inconvenient. Their presence is intrusive and annoying, so much so we've created a private Facebook group just to check when it's safe to leave our homes (hint: it's never safe, they're always there). I have to clean up the snow on my sidewalk. I have to clean up after my dog on the sidewalk. Yet these "journalists" are permitted to create a hazard. Every time I walk past the cameras start flashing, until they realize I'm not Rilla. Their presence is intrusive and annoying. They make me want to scream "Get lost!" (In fact, I have been known to tell them loudly and clearly to get out of my way.) So I can FULLY understand why Rilla finally lost her temper at them. Rilla 1, paparazzi 0.

This invasion of Rilla's privacy (and by extension, my privacy) needs to stop! I don't care if she's dating the Pope, the President, or the Prince. The press needs to back up and get away from the door I'm trying to use!

Yours sincerely,

(Name withheld)

* * *

_A Vision In Style Blog_

_XXX February 2012_

That's it for my series on the 1920s New York Fashion, an era I find fascinating. I wanted to end today's blog, however, by sharing with you my latest project. For my final assignment before spring break, we've been challenged to produce an item of clothing that captures the spirit of the times in which we live by reflecting current affairs. I've decided to go with a simple scoop necked t-shirt – classic design, always looks good with jeans, can be worn anywhere, with a slogan that captures how I feel. I've chosen to make these available in a range of colors, but my favorite is the pink.

I had the pleasure of meeting some of the editorial team from Associated Press last week. You may have seen on twitter we had a bit of a misunderstanding, and it was lovely to get together with the Royal Correspondent, Jordan Montgomery and Editor in Chief Albert Einstein (that's really his name!). They told me what was happening at AP, I told them about my Fashion Degree and we smoothed things out. And they got really excited about my end of term project, as you'll see from the photo on the right. Al agreed that the t-shirt design is really pertinent for today's cultural references. . These are available for sale on my blog. All proceeds go to New York Children's Charities.

(photo right shows Pip wearing a pink t-shirt, Al on the right in a white t-shirt smiling broadly, and Jordan on the left in a yellow t-shirt looking very uncomfortable. Across each t-shirt in sequined letters it reads #teamRilla)

* * *

**_At _**_the desk of Jordan Montgomery_

_Associated Press_

_XX February 2012_

It had been a long time since he'd felt this low. Pip Gordan had been vivacious, witty and had totally captivated his editor. Jordan looked at email she'd sent him with a link to her blog and the photo of himself with Pip and Al, smiling, wearing #teamrilla t-shirts. It made his skin crawl.

He looked at his phone. They wanted him. Should he? Technically it was a breach of policy and he was already in enough trouble, but if they agreed to withhold his name, no one would know. And AP had declined the story. He heard a snicker from the coffee machine and assumed (wrongly) that it was about him. He looked at his phone one more time and pressed 'send'. This needed to go live.

_^Thanks to the talented OzDiva for her contribution_

_^^ Thanks to DW.618 for joining in the fun and contributing a letter_


	11. Out of the Frying Pan

_Once again thank you to Kslchen for letting me play in her 'verse If you haven't read 'By A Simple Twist of Fate' this will make little sense...and you're mad 'cause it's rather brilliant._

_National Enquirer_

_Guest Correspondent: Jordan Montgomery_

_XX February 2012_

**Alien Link to Royal Family**

Tilly, a young, blind, Austrian sheep herder, has come forward with proof that the British Royal Family have alien connections.

Tilly lives with her father Bernd, a once renowned biologist who gave it all up when he started receiving messages about from Aliens through mouldy bread.

"At first, I thought it was strange that the bread would suddenly appear mouldy even though I'd only bought it that morning", said Bernd, "until my friend Luna plotted the time of the messages and discovered they always followed a full moon which, as any scientist knows, is the time when one has most change of getting a message out to, or from, the solar system and beyond."

"Then when we noticed the pattern were similar to how Tilly reads," continued Bernd "we found they actually matched the Braille alphabet perfectly. Soon, we were having regular long communications every full moon."

Bernd was kind enough to share his communications with this reporter. It shows a series of informative conversations that conclusively proof a link a between Prince Kenneth and the Asgardian Prince, Thor. What was once thought to me an ancient myth is now proving to be a royal connection from a time long ago.

The messages, which have become increasingly frequent in the last few months warn of a Red Headed Witch stopping Prince Ken from reaching his true destiny. If a marriage between Ken and this witch were even to eventuate the bridge that enables him to travel between lands, and therefore and our connection to Asgard would be lost forever.

Bernd has agreed that we can undertake a scientific analysis of all the messages, the results of which we will publish in full in this publication. "Just don't take too long", he warned, "once the investigation shows the truth you'll regret any time lost in separating these two."

While some villagers have questioned Bernd's sanity, this reporter knows that he's sane enough to know that Rilla Blythe must be stopped, and will make sure all of her misdeeds are printed for the world to see her for what she is.

* * *

_Email to: Jordan Montgomery, _

_From: National Enquirer_

Dear Mr Montgomery,

A note to confirm your article is now live and online. Great news, we had a last-minute change the editor decided he wanted to credit you with the story, you have a by-line. Congratulations.

Sincerely,

National Enquirer Sub Editorial Team

* * *

_Email to: Jordan Montgomery, _

_From: Associated Press Human Resources_

Dear Jordan

I am writing to confirm the investigation is closed and the restrictions on your copy have been lifted. A hacker was found to have found a random article and pushed it through the approvals ready for print. We were lucky it wasn't more serious.

However, in the course of the investigation we have found that your reporting has increasingly become negative. Its not the tone we choose to use at AP. Here is a link to our corporate policy to remind you of the tone we aim to achieve. It is strongly recommended that you take a more balanced approach to your editorial. This also includes all our latest policies, we'd strongly recommend you read these carefully. We'd hate to lose one of our long-standing exclusive reporters.

Congratulations on the positive outcome of the investigation.

Sincerely

Associated Press HR Director

* * *

_Transcript from The Graham Northern Show_

_XXX February 2012_

_Graham:_ Let's welcome our next guest Emma Watkins. (audience cheers as Emma walks on stage and greets other guests)

_Graham:_ So, Emma, I hear you've just come from the Royal Premier of your latest film 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower', how was that?

_Emma:_ It was so exciting. Of course, I've done the Harry Potter premiers, but this is my first film after that, so it was a bit daunting without Robert and Damien by my side.

_Graham:_ Well, I hear you weren't too lonely (picture pops up of Emma talking to Prince Ken, they're obviously sharing a joke)

_Emma:_ Prince Ken put us all at ease and had us laughing

_Graham_: (in a teasingly, encouraging voice) But he seems to be more 'at ease' with you than the other actors. Something you want to share with us? Are you "just" friends? Could you perhaps be replacing his Canadian friend in his affections?

_Emma:_ (Blushing furiously with what could be embarrassment or anger answers in a clipped tone) Definitely just friends. Not even that. It was the first time I met him and I doubt I'll see him again.

_Graham:_ (sensing that question wasn't well received) Well you seemed to be sharing a good joke anyway, so tell me about the film.

_Emma:_ (pensive, pauses before responding) We were actually talking about the challenges of fame at a young age. The film, as the title suggests, is about someone who goes through life as a "wallflower", something Prince Ken has never been able to do. At this moment (she pauses to look at the picture behind her of them laughing), we were both laughing at the sheer joy of going somewhere completely unrecognised. He was telling me how a neighbour of a friend of his didn't know he was the Prince (Graham looks shocked), I know, unbelievable, right? He spent an hour being lectured by her on how on something or other. It was one of the best hours of his life, he said, a moment when he could just be himself. I probably shouldn't' have repeated that story…

_Graham:_ (more seriously) I suppose fame is something you've gotten used to, you more or less grew up with it

_Emma:_ Yes, more or less. I was lucky. I had the power of the studio behind me and people much more experienced guiding and advising me. And because of my age, the press pretty much kept their distance. I can't imagine what it's like for someone without that

_Graham:_ Like Rilla Blythe? (he asks tentatively as the photo of a harassed Rilla appears on screen)

_Emma:_ You know Graham, I really feel for that girl, she'd done nothing to court the media attention she's getting and seems all alone in handling it. I mean we don't even know what their relationship is, or if it exists, there's not even a photo of them together. If they are in love, it's tragic that her live is ruined by what she feels for Prince Ken, but what if they're not? What if she's just a girl and the media got it wrong? Her privacy is completely taken away.

_Graham:_ Poor girl (said with little empathy)

_Emma:_ Yes, poor girl. Its disgraceful. It must be really horrid to be followed everywhere you go simply because of who you fall in love with. Up until that one photo she seemed to be handling it with great decorum, but its enough to make anyone snap. Someone should do something. She's done NOTHING to deserve this, and then I think what if there is no relationship? Or he broke her heart? That's just...horrifying. I think I'd rather face Voldemort than that.

_Graham:_ (warningly) Careful there Emma, you don't want to offend the editors you need to promote your work.

_Emma:_ If the cost of promotion is ruining the life of a young woman I've never met, then I'd rather not promote my movies. Let my work stand and fall by itself, her freedom is a price too high to pay

(audience erupts into cheers and stands to applaud Emma and her view)

* * *

_Email to: Jordan Montgomery, _

_From: Associated Press Human Resources_

We understand an investigate by the Journalist Ethics Committee is being made against you for your reporting of Rilla Blythe. They believe that your most recent article, published in the National Enquirer, indicates proof of a sustained bias in reporting on this young lady that has lead to an unwarranted intrusion in her personal life, and misrepresentation of facts. As you know from our policy book writing for other publications is a breach of your contract. As such you are formally suspended, without pay, pending the outcome of the Committee's Enquiry. As this final article was published outside of your contract you will not be able to access the legal team at Associated Press. It is recommended that you retain your own legal counsel for this enquiry.

We regret that our long relationship has come to this. Once you have the outcome of the Enquiry we will investigate this breach of contract and decide if your employment should be terminated. Please note, until that time you are still contracted to Associated Press and thus restricted from reporting in other publications.

Sincerely

Associated Press HR Director

_A/N: What is happening to the world of press? Jordan our Royal Correspondent is headed to a disciplinary committee. Will he survive (do we care?); Could this be coincidentally timed with my own 3-week holiday? I think so! But fear not, the voice of the press will continue as the wonderful Alinyaalethia will be keeping our Royal Correspondents in line and giving you the public story of our Rilla and her handsome prince. (Still from this account, so if you see a post from me over the next month don't get confused it is Alinyaalethia). Enjoy the rest of your July. Back In August._


	12. Never Raines but it Pours

_Alinya here picking up this week's Royal Correspondence for Original Mcfishie and the wayward Jordan Montgomery. Thanks go out as ever to Kslchen, whose fantastic story has us here in the first place, and to TinaLouise for supplying this week's CBC contribution. But now there's news - read all about it!_

* * *

_Notice posted to the website for the North American Journalistic Association  
_**Upcoming: Journalistic Ethics Committee Hearing**

We take this opportunity to remind all journalists sitting on, or otherwise involved with the upcoming Journalistic Ethics Committee Hearing that they are to participate in strictly unbiased fashion. All opinions will be made based upon the facts reported. Personal and/or political perspectives should in no way influence your verdict.

* * *

_Internal Memo from the Associated Press  
_**Subject: Desk Reshuffle **

Following the summoning of Mr Jordan Montgommery by the Journalistic Ethics Committee , the desk of Royal Correspondent has been reallocated to Ms Edith MacDonald, current Health Reporter. We trust her ample experience in diverse areas will be more than suited to the task, and that the department will do its utmost to accommodate her.

N.B. For budgetary reasons Ms MacDonald will continue on in her capacity as Health Reporter. Should this prove problematic for Ms MacDonald or the department we will re-evaluate the situation.

* * *

_From the desk of Edith MacDonald, Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp  
Associated Press,_  
_February X – , 2012_

**It never Raines but it pours**

Following Rilla Blythe's investigation at the Halifax airport, sister Joyce Raine and family are facing allegations of facilitating visa fraud and violation. Mrs Raine, who until recently, worked for Morecombe, Slant & Honeyplace has been released from employment by the legal practice. This comes in light of a pending investigation by U.S. Immigration into Rilla Blythe's relationship with the Raines family.

Heretofore, Mrs. Raine has maintained a sterling record as a human rights lawyer. She has been involved in a wide range of cases subsequent to her dismissal.

Mrs Raine's involvement with Rilla Blythe comes primarily through her children. Prior to January, Rilla Blythe is known to have regularly babysat niece Isabella (4) and nephew, Jacob (11). While ostensibly little more than a supportive and close-knit family, may prove directly contrary to the terms of Rilla Blythe's visa, should she be proved to be the recipient of any money in reciprocity for such familial service.

As of writing, the Raines family are reportedly in discussion with Newton, Murtaugh, and Clayton, legal associates. Speaking on the investigation, both the family and their representative declined comment. It is, however, known to the press that Rilla Blythe was previously employed by the Raines family, as per a primary caregivers visa, as au pair to the younger Raines. At this time it is unclear how, or if, this information will come to bear on the case as it progresses.

While the investigation's outcome is as yet unknown, reliable sources, speaking to the evolving situation, strongly suggest Rilla Blythe will finish out her year at university and graduate with her contemporaries. Sources place Miss Blythe as continuing in her classes. Reports to the contrary are believed to be greatly exaggerated and are not endorsed by this article.

* * *

_From the desk of Edith MacDonald, Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp,  
Associated Press,  
February X – , 2012_

**Kerfuffle caused by Ken's canuck!**

Following reports of her sister, Joyce Raine's departure from Morecombe, Slant & Honeyplace, something has got Prince Ken's royal canuck upset. Usually placid Rilla Blythe is shown below in a state of high agitation en route to her place of work.

[Picture; Rilla fending off the press as she walks to work.]

Shortly afterwards Miss Blythe was seen to depart her workplace earlier than usual. Asked for comment, her employer and manager of The Torch Club, Maureen O'Malley, said, 'I don't know what happened. One minute she was arriving – late, no less – the next thing I hear, she's gone! Didn't even tell me. [She] just walked out, and left the other girls to tell me.' She adds that many of the clientele hoping to catch sight of the Royal Mitzi were disappointed by her failure to appear waiting tables.

Miss Blythe was not available for comment, and speculation is running wild. What has our Cinderilla in such a state? Could it be that the clock is ticking closer to midnight and the royal spell about to break? Or is this concern for her family affecting her conduct? It remains to be seen…_article cont'd page 23._

* * *

_Heat Magazine  
March, 2012_

**Redheaded royals**

_We heard your feedback! You said you wanted more on redheaded witches through history, so we've compiled a list just for you! We've even assessed their chances of being witches. _

If Rilla Blythe _does _marry into the Royal family, it looks like she's in good company. As we continue our series on hair colour, here is just a sample of the redheaded ancestors of the Royal Mitzi's Prince Ken.

**Boudica**

Strictly speaking, we're not sure if this great redheaded woman counts as an ancestor. But she _did _lead an uprising against the Roman Empire, so she makes the list. Besides, she was definitely royal. Regrettably, her uprising failed, and she poisoned herself shortly afterwards. Presumably because she didn't want to find out what the Roman policy was on dealing with witches.  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 60%

**Catherine of Aragon**

Famously, she's the first of Henry VIII wives. You know, the _Divorced _part of that old rhyme. _Divorced, beheaded, died…_Also well-known was this tenacious woman's Catholicism, and it doesn't seem unreasonable to suppose there's a connection between the red hair and the Virgin Mary, herself a redhead. At least, she is if you believe certain Medieval sources that call her _La Rousse _for her red hair. Is there a connection? Were they communicating? Certainly explains a lot. Well, we think so.  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 83%

**Elizabeth 1**

No rhymes needed for this one! Everyone does Good Queen Bess in history class these days. And the ones that don't have surely read popular book _1066, and All That_. What they missed out, though, was that this fiery, independent monarch was also fiery haired. Could those ginger roots be the source of her power? Or perhaps her keen thinking? Either way, _something _helped her run the country as expertly as she did.  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 96%

**Mary Queen of Scots**

Tudor England seems to have been particularly rife with redheads. This one's even another Catholic, so it's starting to look like there's something to our theory. Mary Stuart of Scotland, and sometimes favourite for the throne was _also _a redhead. She ascended the _Scottish _throne on the death of James V of Scotland – when she was only six days old. She went on to be Queen Consort of France until 1560, when her husband died. We wouldn't make a thing of all these deaths, only she went on to marry Henry Stuart, Lord Darnley back in Scotland, and _he _died, too. Of an explosion in 1567. Regrettably, she ended up beheaded by her redheaded cousin Elizabeth I. History doesn't record a meeting between them, which is probably just as well. If they _were _witches, just think how volatile all that magic and redheaded temper would be, all mixed together!  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 99%

**Oliver Cromwell**

We know, we know. He's not a queen, but how could we overlook the man at the helm of the English civil war? This parliamentarian banned Christmas and made mince pies illegal! If that's not proof of witchcraft, we don't know what is.

Incidentally, they never _did _revoke the ban on mince pies. So next time you have cause to pick one up, be careful – we'd hate for you to be caught by the wrong people!  
Estimated likelihood of witchcraft: 50%

_Have an opinion? Follow us on Twitter to participate in our ongoing Witchcraft Poll, or find us on Facebook. Watch out for our follow-up piece; Red-headed Mystics. For a reputedly rare hair colour, history sure has a lot of redheads to report!_

* * *

_CBC: Canadian News for Canadians ^_  
Lilianne Britton  
Twitter CBCLilianne  
April X -, 2012

**Rilla's Blythe's feline companion named George! **

(Photo of Rilla and George walking)

It's not the first time Rilla Blythe has been spotted with her feline companion. She was spotted with the rather large feline with a gleaming ginger coat more than once.

The breed of cat is unknown but thought to be part tabby given the subtle stripes on his coat. Lately, he has been affectionately referred to as Garfield across the web, because of his hefty build and intense looks from the window. He has also been spotted numerous times leaving the apartment by way of the fire-escape and various windows of the building.

(Various photos of ginger lounging in the window and on the fire escape.)

It was a normal afternoon when the press caught sight of Miss Blythe walking home. Her duffle bag was swung over her shoulder as if she spent the night with friends. Prince Ken was at that moment at an event in England and hadn't been seen visiting in a few weeks.

The ginger feline jumped into action as they approached the apartment. His ears were folded back as he strutted beside her, looking like he was about to pounce. Occasionally hissing if anyone got too close to them. It was during the short walk, she could be seen speaking to him. Calling him Georgie which appears to be a nickname for the feline.

Is it a name a coincidence? George is a common name among the royal family. There has been plenty of Georges in the royal family from the beginning of time. King George III has been revered over the course of history.

Is it possible that our Rilla is an avid historian in her spare time? Naming her feline with a cheeky name, only to end up dating a prince? With a mother who is an English professor, anything is possible.

What Prince Ken thinks of this feline is unknown, though he has been seen with stray copper hairs on his coat upon leaving the Brooklyn apartment. And historically, the Royal family has always been keen on animals. The Princess Royal is an equestrian, who has shown a love for horses from a young age. She is currently studying near the welsh border in equestrian studies. It is rumoured that the royal family has favoured the canine species, and Prince Ken has been photographed with plenty of dogs over the years. Which means we can only speculate if Miss Blythe has turned Prince Ken into a cat lover?

**When Cats Fly?**

Royalty aside, what will happen when Miss Blythe graduates?

Want to know what will happen to George upon graduation? Well, we have your answers.

Crossing the border with domestic animals is easy between Canada and the US. We advise Rilla - and all travellers - to prepare paperwork from a vet saying that animal is up to date on vaccinations for rabies. Most animals are welcomed into Canada without any issues.

We are sure that George will be welcome into Canada, and we will welcome him with open arms.

* * *

_Obituary printed for Dr. R. Weisz,  
X – April, 2012_

**Weisz**, Rivka, passed away peacefully in her home on X – , April, 2012. After arrival in New York in 1946, she dedicated herself to the field of engineering, where her commitment earned her not only a graduate and postgraduate degree, but later, a PhD in the 1970s. She leaves no family, and is predeceased by husband Michael Weisz and daughter Hannah. The funeral, to be held on X – ,April, will be private.

Anyone who knows of remaining relatives and how to contact them should direct all information towards PO Box X – .

* * *

_A tip of the hat here, in the first instance, to Terry Pratchett, whose wonderful and fictive legal firm Kslchen and I have repurposed for the sacking of Joy, and subsequently to the glorious New Yorker short story, 'Corrections' for Newton, Murtaugh & Clayton. If you haven't read it, and want to weep with laughter, I strongly encourage it._

_^ TinaLouise_

_Finally, thanks to the wonderful McFishie for letting me muck about with her characters and trusting me with this press world she's built up. - Alinya _


	13. Death of a Fairy Godmother?

_Edith MacDonald is back, bringing you a glut of news on the obscure death of Rilla's neighbour...Thanks go this week go out to Excel Aunt, who brings the royals to the under tens, and Oz Diva for her fantastic work in the Twittersphere. Edith was very clear that she wasn't handling the social media on top of everything else!_

* * *

_From the desk of Edith MacDonald, Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp,  
Associated Press,  
April X – ,2012_

**Prince zips to Mitzi's side**

Prince Ken made waves this week as he shelved royal duties to appear unexpectedly on Rilla Blythe's doorstep yesterday evening. Reporters caught the prince dashing from his car, looking tired and harried after what was, presumably, a long flight. While we are unable to speculate on the nature of the visit, it was obvious something was seriously wrong. Inside sources report Prince Ken took flight after Rilla Blythe failed to answer a telephone call. Could it be that trouble in paradise takes precedence over the smooth sailing of that sceptred isle?

* * *

_From the desk of Edith MacDonald, Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp,  
Associated Press,  
_April X – ,

**Maple leaf forever? **

**Royal couple confirmed through trouble and adversity**

[Pictured: Rilla Blythe and HRH Prince Kenneth on the steps of Scrips Funeral Parlour.]

This afternoon saw Rilla Blythe and Prince Kenneth, who is recently returned to New York, emerging from the Scrips Funeral Parlour. Sources indicate they were there on behalf of Miss Blythe's former neighbour, Dr. R. Weisz. Asked about their connection to the deceased, undertaker B. Scrips, said, 'They aren't related. [Rilla] said she wanted to make sure the old lady [Mrs Weisz] was looked after.' He adds, '[This is] just someone doing a good thing because it needs doing. It sort of gives you hope for the future, doesn't it?'

The funeral, which was private, was conducted by a non-religious celebrant in the funeral parlour's chapel. Readings included Tennyson's _Crossing the Bar_, as well as Robert Frost's _Choose Something Like a Star_, and _The Darkling Thrush_, by Thomas Hardy. Also featured as musical selections were Ian & Sylvia's arrangements of _Changes_, and _Four Strong Winds_.

Also in attendance was Mrs Joyce Raine and son, Jacob. There were no other guests present. Details of the service can be found on the Scrips Funeral Home website under its records section, for those wishing to pay their respects.

**Rila-his-Rilla?**

While the prince's connection to Miss Blythe's neighbour remains a mystery, one thing is certain; Prince Kenneth and the Royal Mitzi are incontestably a couple. Of particular note is the return of Prince Kenneth for the funeral. He arrived unexpectedly the other evening, concerned when Miss Blythe did not answer her phone. He has been instrumental, according to B Scrips, in the funeral arrangements of Dr. Weisz. It is unclear how long the prince will be able to postpone royal responsibilities in favour of comforting his Cinderilla.

'Obviously,' said a source that asked to remain anonymous, 'Miss Blythe is very important to him. He won't leave until he's confident she's all right.' But does King Owen approve? Speculation is rampant. One thing is obvious; where Prince Ken is concerned, the English rose pales next to the maple leaf.

* * *

_From the desk of Edith MacDonald, Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp,  
__Associated Press_  
_April X – , 2012_

**Cinderilla's Fairy Godmother? **

In a follow-up to the article of April X – , Rilla Blythe has emerged as the inheritor of former neighbour Mrs. Weiz's property and possessions. Currently she is undertaking the closing up of her friend's property. It remains to be seen what, if any, money she has been left, and, moreover, what she plans to do with it. Rumour has it she is looking to city of spires, Oxford, to continue her studies. Could Mrs Weisz turn out to be the benevolent fairy that facilitates Miss Blythe's academic career? Or was she merely a grandmotherly woman looking out for, as she saw it, a young woman on her own, and who saw in Rilla Blythe something of her younger self? _Story cont'd on page 11._

* * *

_Heat Magazine  
April X – , 2012_

**Seeing red: Mystical and visionary redheads **

_We're back! You asked, we listened. As promised, up for discussion this week are Mystical Redheads; women who bewitched, bamboozled, ensorcelled and otherwise ensnared men through the ages._

**Guinevere**

Readers will hardly be surprised to learn the woman who toppled the Round Table was a redhead. After all the dissension she sowed between those men, how could she be anything else? Obviously the colour suited her though, because it wasn't _just _witchcraft that won the hearts of Arthur and Lancelot…or was it?  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 95%

**Mary Magdalene**

Okay, so there's no actual proof of this one. That is, if you're going by the Bible. For the go-to source on Mary Magdalene, it says surprisingly little about her. Turns out scholars can't even agree if she was a prostitute or not. But _all _the art shows her with red hair, so we're counting it. Why does it show her that way? Because red hair was shorthand for loose or no morals!

If nothing else, she was clearly divisive, just like Guinevere. Whatever else we know, she's single-handedly responsible for all the dissent among the Disciples post-Crucifixion. Point two for the redheaded witches dividing previously united fronts!  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 97%

**Joan of Arc**

This redhead saw visions of God. She was also of the opinion God was talking to her. Cue much slaughter and violence. Top marks for being convinced of what she was saying, though. Still, it really shouldn't have come as a surprise when people started doubting the divinity behind the word and burned her at the stake.  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 110% (With bonus points for citing 'visions'.)

**William Blake**

Not unlike Joan of Arc, Blake had visions. The first one was of his dead brother sitting in a tree, age 10. As you do. In case that wasn't excentric enough, he started hearing and seeing angels. He claimed the visions inspired his downright weird poetry, but we're pretty sure it was an excuse to write and draw some highly sexualised stuff. Not enough proof for you? He was a reputed revolutionary in England. No wonder his books were all self-published!  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 88%

_Did we miss your favourite? Follow us on Twitter or like our Facebook page to recommend the redhead youmost suspect of witchcraft, or participate in our poll. Up next; Literary redheads! Submit your pick now!_

* * *

_Tweets in response to photograph of Rilla and Ken ^_

Rilla looked like a sad bat in that black dress. It may have been a funeral, but she could have made a bit of an effort.

Ooo squee did you see how Rilla was hugging Prince Ken? They're so adorbs.

Why was Prince Ken in NYC in the first place? I had taken a day off work to see him open the flower show. #disappointed

I know the photo was taken with a long lens, but Rilla looked amazzzing in that dress. Does anyone know the designer?

Ohh Ken and his Cinderrillla dreamy...

So they really are an item! #teamrilla

Someday your prince will come. And he did. #teamrilla

Who died?

Trying to search the web for the connection between this old Jewish lady and Prince Ken, so far nada. Twitter do your thing.

* * *

_Interview run in Chickadee Magazine with PPO P. Hanson. ^^  
_May X -, 2012

With permission of the Palace, Royalty Protection Officer, Mr. Phil Hanson gives _Chickadee Magazine_ for children some insight into his exciting work as we continue "Cool Jobs in the United Kingdom".

Q. Mr. Hanson, thank you for answering our questions. Can you tell us a little about what you do and why you like it?

A. I work for the Metropolitan Police in a special department that protects our Royal Family so they move about the world safely and securely. Sometimes that means keeping myself close-by to the royal and sometimes that means staying in the background, observing. It's an always-changing job, moment by moment. That makes it fun.

Q. Why does the Royal Family need to be protected?

A. They represent our Commonwealth Realms. Good security is one example of telling the rest of the world how valuable and important they are. Even foreign governments give their presidents and ministers protection. We're British, so we're going to set the example in how it should be done. We are proud to serve.

Q. Has anything scary happened to you on the job?

A. Not really. My job is to be prepared for anything. When you have a plan, it takes away the uncertainty that comes with being afraid. I've practiced a lot for tragedies, and should something bad happen, I already know what to do. It can get a little sticky though. Anticipating the actions of journalists and photographers has proven to be difficult, but not necessarily frightening.

[Large picture of a thirty-year-old man, in a suit and sunglasses, monitoring a crowd of onlookers. In the background and out of focus, is Prince Kenneth shaking hands with a child. The caption reads, "Mr. Hanson watches the crowd as Prince Kenneth interacts with a young boy." Photo courtesy of the Associated Press]

Q. Learning never ends, does it? What are you learning now?

A. Right now I'm brushing up on my French. Training involves everything from electronics to weaponry. Having diverse interests is useful when it comes to security.

Q. Was this your dream job when you were young?

A. [Laughs]. I've always had an interest in military and police work, even if I didn't know it then.

I wanted to be a ninja when I was a boy. I practiced karate and judo until my late teens and developed a love for fitness. I still exercise a lot, my wife and I run marathons. It helps to be active when you like candy as much as I do.

Next time you see a picture of the Royal Family, take a look at the people around them. Chances are, you'll see their security detail, such as Mr. Phil Hanson, too.

* * *

_The Daily Tattler  
April X – , 2012_

**Sombre Cinderilla is no Blythe spirit**

It's official! Pictured above are Prince Ken and his notorious Cinderilla exiting the Scrips Funeral Parlour. This comes after speculation from some that the couple are not a couple at all. We direct readers to the way she buries her head in his shoulder, and the way his arm is wrapped around her waist.

Readers might suspect Prince Ken of looking none too pleased with the situation. That's understandable, as, regrettably, black does nothing for Rilla Blythe's complexion. In fact, it actively clashes with her fiery red hair. Hopefully he can get used to Cinderilla's new look. If reports of his mother's deteriorating health are true, Rilla Blythe may have to make a habit of wearing black. We hope not, for her sake.

* * *

_A Vision in Style Blog  
May X – , 2012 _

Okay, so this isn't exactly my usual thing, but I hope you guys will be forgiving. We _finally _get our first photo of Rilla Blythe with PK and what are people talking about? Her fashion choices! Condemning them, no less! I mean, I get it, no one loves fashion more than me (the shoes ! !) – I run a blog on fashion for goodness' sakes! – but this was a _funeral_! Who looks fashionable at a _funeral_?_! _(Yes, those italics are _totally _necessary! !) The whole _point _of a funeral is that _no one _looks good, because _someone has died! _

Honestly, I'm impressed Rilla had the stamina for photographers afterwards, because if it was me I'd just curl up in a corner and sob, or something. And anyway, not to point names, but that magazine was _completely _wrong. They got so hung up on the black Rilla was wearing not suiting her that they _totally _overlooked the _cutest _gloves! Did you see them? No? Well, just in case I'm here to bring them to your attention.

[Picture; close up on Rilla Blythe's hands in the ubiquitous photograph.]

See? _Gloves! _I love gloves almost as much as shoes. (Hard to believe, right?!) In fact, I'm starting a petition to make them a thing again, because who _wouldn't _want to wear darling gloves like these? (#BringBackGloves!) Anyway, what I really love about these dove-grey gloves is the buttons down the side. They're in clusters of three, and they're too _utterly utterly_. See? I'm so excited I can't even be coherent about them! Okay, I'll try. They just _scream _Vintage and Fairy Tale.

Obviously, funeral or no funeral, Rilla Blythe is in a class all her own. And remember #BringBackGloves!

* * *

^Oz Diva

^^ Excel Aunt

_This week we're waving in the direction of Heartbeat. It's unclear if Bernie Scrips moved to New York, or if he just has a long-lost many-times relative over here. I'll let you decide. Though, obviously the funeral business is going well for him._


	14. Corrections

_This week we get a glimpse behind the newsroom curtain, Edith almost gets a reprieve, and there are more literary redheads than anyone ever realised. Turns out Anne is in some excellent redheaded company. Thanks go out, as ever, to Kslchen for letting us play in her world, and to Original McFishie for loaning her pressroom to me over her holiday. And, of course, extra thanks to all of you reading along and/or reviewing. This only works with you on board._

* * *

_Minutes from weekly newsroom meeting for the Associated Press.  
May X – ,_

In light of the recent uptick in measles, Edith MacDonald to resume full-time coverage of health. It is suggested that the desk of Royal Correspondent be temporarily manned by someone else. Chief Reporter Terrace MacNeill, suggests intern, James Cavendish.

Anderson Woolner, Sports, is on record as believing this to be a terrible idea. Intern has insufficient experience. Cordelia Campbell is unsure of the legality. According to documents no one has time to cross-reference, interns can only do inessential work. Edith MacDonald on record as thinking Royal Correspondence, quote, 'Absolutely counts as inessential.'

Motion to transition intern Cavendish to Royal Correspondence proposed by Terrace MacNeill and seconded by Edith MacDonald. Reservations of Campbell and Woolner are duly noted.

This week's Camera Club stories are to be on the theme of Bees, as per the upcoming World Bee Day…

_Several pages omitted_

* * *

_From the desk of James Cavendish_, _Twitter:_JCavendishAPIntern  
_Associated Press  
May X – , 2012 _

**Correction**

A recent article run by our Royal Correspondent incorrectly identified the guests of the Prince of Wales. At recent Madison Square Gardens concert with Prince Ken and Rilla Blythe was not, as written, sister Nan Blythe and father-in-law, but Rilla Blythe's mother, Dr. Anne Blythe, and father, Dr Gilbert Blythe. Miss Anne Blythe is their daughter. She is unmarried, and has not, as was suggested, written books, for children or otherwise. Her degree is in child psychology.

Dr. Gilbert Blythe is not the minister for Glen St. Mary. At no time did he study divinity, nor was he called by the General Synod of Canada. He is a neurosurgeon in Kingsport, and has, at no time, been affiliated with Redmond Hospital, which in any event, does not exist.

* * *

_Heat Magazine,  
June X – ,_

**The red fairy book; Literature's redheads**

_The results are in, the votes are counted! This week we rounded up all your favourite literary redheads. Are they witches, heroines, or just plain conniving? You decide. Either way, they're undeniably unusual! _

**Ariel**

She sung her voice into the hands of a sorcerer – and all to ensnare a prince! Don't try this at home, folks! Turns out Disney's beloved mermaid never got the memo that all you need to woo a prince is red hair, which Ariel has in spades. Just ask Rilla Blythe – it worked for her, _and _she kept her voice!

It gets darker though. Redheaded Ariel spawned _Rusalka_, opera's tragic sea nymph. She got the red hair, but not the memo about courtship, either, because after failing to win her man, she was turned into a witch of the sea, and devoted the rest of her life luring men to their watery graves. Gentlemen, beware!  
Likelihood of witchcraft:150%

**Daphne du Maurier**

She's not fictional, but this redheaded writer sure did offer up some hair-raising stories. Remember _Rebecca? __The Birds_? Or perhaps you know her for the eerie _Jamaica Inn_, or _Just After Midnight_. They're all hers. To write blood-curdling stuff like that, you'd have to be a witch, wouldn't you? We think so!  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 76%

**Ophelia**

You may remember this young woman from English class. Famously, she eschews a nunnery, hands out a bunch of flowers, and then drowns. Not that she has a good reason to eschew the nunnery, unless of course, she's a witch. Preraphaelite paintings of her back up our theory; they love depicting her with red hair. And, as you know, sink-or-swim was a popular witch-testing technique. (But seriously, don't try the flower-distributing approach either, people. It ended badly. Just ask the prince out!)  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 82%

**Pippi Longstocking**

Atypically for a redhead of any variety, Pippi loves her red hair. No, really. She loves it, and she loves her freckles and not even chemists with miracle cures can persuade her that it's proof-positive she's some kind of witch. Probably because she already knows this and has absolutely no qualms about casting the odd spell. If you need further proof, the girl is a magnet for rule-breaking, which, of course, is a _classic_sign of witchcraft. Still not convinced? She can lift a horse. Can _you_?!  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 52%

**Madeline**

The smallest of those twelve girls in two straight lines, Madeline is yet another literary redhead. Like Pippi she has an abnormal propensity for scrapes, thus corroborating our theory that writers use this 'audacious redhead' trope to codify their protagonists as witches, while _also _getting around publishing censorship. Of course, Madeline stands out for having to have her appendix out, and not, you know, just healing it. But maybe the Inquisition got to her and it behind the scenes? Either way, this is another Don't Try This At Home moment. There are _much _better ways of getting the attention of your significant other than appendectomy. Again, we point you to redheaded Rilla Blythe, who has the English crown well in hand.  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 69%

_We want to hear from you! Have a favourite redhead? What about a redhead adjacent subject you want us to cover? Get in touch by liking us on Facebook or following us on Twitter. Don't forget __to submit your suggestions and vote in our ongoing Witchcraft Poll. Up next; Animated Redheads. Ariel was just the tip of that cartoon iceberg!_

* * *

_From the desk of James Cavendish, Twitter; JCavendishAPIntern  
Associated Press,  
June X – ,_

**Correction**

The article reporting on the graduation of Rilla Blythe was factually inaccurate in several particulars. Rilla Blythe has six siblings, not thirty-sixn. They were not all in attendance at the ceremony. Present were Drs Anne and Gilbert Blythe and sister Joyce Raine. Mrs Raine's children did _not _attend, and it was _not _her daughter seen to overturn the refreshments table at the garden party subsequent.

Dr. Anne Blythe is _not _a child psychologist, nor has she ever attended University of Toronto. She took no courses in child psychology.,

Miss Anne Blythe, who studies in Toronto, was absent. She has at no point published _The Fearsome Cake, _nor did she send her sister a cake as a graduation present. She sent flowers.

A failure of copyediting lead to the insinuation that on graduation Miss Blythe's name was announced as Cinderilla. This was not the case. Cinderilla is the popular moniker when referencing Miss Blythe in headlines. Her full name is Bertha Marilla Blythe. The university dean announced her as such. At no point during the graduation ceremony was she otherwise identified.

* * *

_A Vision in Style Blog  
June X – , _

It's here! I've been waiting to write about Rilla Blythe's graduation for _months, _because I _knew _her fashion choices would be exemplary, and she did not disappoint! I know the press made it sound all boring and ordinary, but that's because they aren't looking at it with an eye for _style_.

**Flowers in her hair **

You don't have to go to San Francisco to wear them, and Rilla Blythe knows it. If you look at pictures, she's woven pansies into her hair, and the purple and yellow look just _gorgeous _against her red tresses. They're also an inexpensive and inventive solve to the eternal problem of how to reinvent your hairdo, provided you're savvy about where you buy the flowers.

**Pretty in white**

Anyone who complained about Rilla Blythe in black cannot _possibly _argue with how she looks in white. I don't know _why _graduations insist on sticking us girls in white, like we're going to a wedding or some weird, vestal, rite, but it's _obviously _ancient. Probably thought up by men, too. I mean, we all know the vestal thing is virtually never true anymore, right? Anyway, wherever it comes from, Rilla Blythe looks positively stuntastic in white.

I don't know where the current Rilla Blythe reporter got their details (and I know, I know, it's not approved press style to use the singular _their_) but Rilla's dress is white _georgette_. You can tell because it's so lightweight and floaty. See how it flutters around her calves?

[Pictured; Rilla in graduation dress holding a bouquet of flowers outside the university's commencement hall.]

Georgette's not as shiny as a silk or chiffon, and has a signature crinkle to the surface that gives this dress a ripple effect as it falls over the figure. Rilla _totally _looks like a fairy-tale princess in it.

**Silver linings**

Like any fashion-savvy graduand (this is totally a word, according to the university programs I've seen), Rilla knows just the way to accent her dress with a dash of colour. She's got her pansies of course, mentioned earlier, but also the _cutest _silver shoes. This touch of frost is positively _refreshing _in the current heatwave. If they look a _smidge _too tight, who among us has not made sacrifices for fashion? Besides, ballet flats like this are known to stretch over time.

And, of course, I can't overlook the _gloves! _#BringBackGloves! These are lace, and if I had to guess, hale from _Anyone for Tennis_, a thrift shop just _waiting _for discovery and full of super cute finds.

**Team Rilla!**

Finally, I can't go without calling out the _excellent _fashion taste of Rilla Blythe's family.

[Pictured; Rilla with her parents either side of her. They are wearing #TeamRilla teeshirts with their graduation get-up.]

When I made these teeshirts as part of my assignment I never _dreamed _anyone related to Rilla would wear them. Dr. Gilbert Blythe proves sparkles are the _perfect_ compliment to a suit jacket, while his wife, Dr Anne Blythe, demonstrates that redheads _can _wear pink, after all.

You too can have your own #TeamRilla teeshirt by clicking this link. All proceeds go towards charity – and now you'll look as suave and cool as the Blythe family, to boot!

* * *

_From the desk of James Cavendish, Twitter: JCavendishAPIntern  
Associated Press,  
June X – ,2012 _

**Correction**

Due to a system failure, several errors were present in the commentary on Miss Rilla Blythe's graduation apparel. This was due to the running of a previous draft, which was not intended for press. This should not have happened.

The gloves Miss Blythe wore were made of lace, not mace. She carried flowers. At no point during the ceremony was she observed to glower. The flowers in her hair were pansies, not candies, which anyway, are neither botanical nor hair ornaments.

There has further been confusion over Miss Blythe's dress as reported by our press. The dress in question was made of white georgette, _not _George. George is the name of Rilla Blythe's cat.

* * *

_Minutes for the weekly news meeting of the Associated Press  
June X – ,_

Due to a series of editorial oversights, James Cavendish has been reassigned from Royal Correspondence to website and social media organisation, as well as this week's picture stories. It is noted that A. Woolner's concerns have been validated, and further interns will not be assigned this desk. In light of the continued absence of Jordan Montgomery, Edith MacDonald will resume Royal Correspondence until the conclusion of the convention of the Journalistic Ethics Committee.

Front page will lead with the recent stock market plummet below the fold. Chief Reporter Terrace MacNeill suggests U.N. response to Syrian Massacre for Above the Fold. Photo-journalist Clara Knight to source pictures. Sidebar on Irish referendum.

Camera Club this week to take Environment as theme in light of World Environment Day…

_Several pages omitted_

* * *

_From the desk of Edith Macdonald, Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp  
Associated Press,  
June X – , 2012 _

**True patriot love**

Prince Ken once again shelves royal duties to make time for Big Apple Sojourns. Asked for an opinion on the prince's new priorities, the palace declined comment. The couple have been similarly unforthcoming, and concern is rife that romance has started to outweigh his Highness's other obligations.

**Living the high life **

[Pictured: Rilla and Ken entering an expensive New York hotel.]

While sources refuse comment, the couple were incontrovertibly spotted outside a renowned New York hotel the other weekend. Pictured above, the royal couple was dressed in style, and looked ready for a romantic getaway. Is this any way for upcoming royalty to spend their leisure time? And should charming weekends for two supercede affairs of state?

We asked you, and opinion is divided. Following her recent graduation, some believe Rilla Blythe deserves a celebration. Wimsical Devotions (Twitter: AsMyWimsyTakesMe) tweeted; 'As a fellow English grad, I say Rilla's earned her royal vacation. Leave her in peace, internet.'

Elsewhere, Harmony Kendal (Twitter: Unicorns4Eva) said; 'A weekend with Prince Ken – very jealous. Wish someone would get me a graduation gift that good!

Ned (Twitter; fRaTbOi94) joined the general approval saying; Sorry to hear I didn't get an invite! Maybe next time? #RillaWatch

Not everyone was so solicitous. Elsewhere on Twitter, Oscar the Cat (Twitter: Oscarthecat) expressed his concerns for Miss Blythe's cat; 'Has anyone asked George? Bet he wasn't invited to the weekend. Can't have him starving because Rilla's in bed with royalty!'

And Mrs Trellis of North Wales wrote in to our Facebook page with the following; I am astonished by such behaviour from our prince. Playing hide the sausage when he ought to be visiting our Commonwealth countries. I am shocked!

Could it be that other Commonwealth realms and nations no longer hold the attraction for Prince Ken that they once did? And will countries not Canada now always play second fiddle to the home of his Cinderilla? It remains to be seen.

* * *

_Email from Edith MacDonald to health desk subeditor._

**From: Edith MacDonald  
To: Martha Macrae  
Subject: Desk Reshuffle (again) **

An outbreak of male incompetence has sent me back to the Royal Correspondence Desk. In fairness to the poor intern, it probably wasn't his fault. I'm pretty sure that this desk actively kills off braincells. (MacNeill wants a story on the _cat_, for God's sake!) Cavendish's references were good. You'll be relieved to hear (more relieved than me, anyway) that I'm still covering health, too. But if I don't get to it by deadline, make sure that story about the hospital beds crisis goes on the front of the section. Don't let MacNeill move it!

E.M.

* * *

_From the desk of Edith MacDonald, Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp  
Associated Press,  
July X – , 2012 _

**A Wedding and a funeral**

[Pictured left: Rilla in bridesmaid's finery at friend, Elizabeth Meade's wedding. Rilla wears blue and holds sunflowers. Right: Reprint of Rilla Blythe and Prince Ken outside Scrips Funeral Parlour.]

From the sombre to the celebratory, it's a wonder Rilla Blythe isn't suffering emotional whiplash. Mere months after burying neighbour and close friend Dr. Weisz, Rilla Blythe is here shown acting as bridesmaid for schoolmate Elizabeth Meade.

[Pictured; Misses Blythe, Meade and Crawford at their high school formal. Left, Rilla Blythe, with Elizabeth Meade centre, and Mollie Crawford, right. Second picture; Miss Blythe and friends on the tennis court.]

The girls share a long friendship, dating back to high school. They are pictured above in attendance at a school dance, where Miss Crawford, sister to the groom, remembers they spent 'Hours helping each other get ready. We thought Betty…grown up [because] she was the first of our friends with a proper boyfriend.'

Asked if she was surprised by Miss Blythe's participation in the wedding party so soon after a funeral, Miss Crawford said only that '[Rilla] and Betty have been friends for ages. When she was late coming home we guessed she was packing and sorting [out] visas. We knew she would never miss the wedding, though.'

Miss Blythe was also seen to catch the new Mrs Crawford's bridal bouquet of cornflowers and sunflowers. Could this lead to the full Westminster peal? Speculation is rife. But with rumours of a possible visit by Prince Ken to Canada this summer, anything is possible.

* * *

_Memo posted to the website of the North American Journalistic Association._

**Journalistic Ethics Committee Approaches Conclusion**

As we approach the summer season, it is incumbent upon us to inform you that from this week those convened on the Journalistic Ethics Committee will withdraw to consider the evidence before them re Jordan Montgomery. We expect them to reach a conclusion by the week of August X-.

* * *

_Borrowings this week are from The Corrections, again, surprising no one, and from the riotously funny I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue for donating the wonderful Mrs. Trellis._


	15. Prince Makes Royal Entrance

_This week we meet the Glen St Mary paper, Jordan's verdict comes in, and Edith might finally get that reprieve she's been looking for. Oh, and there are still more redheads than anyone realised._

* * *

_A __Vision in Style Blog  
__July X -, 2012_

Rilla Blythe is back in Canada, which means no more New York sightings, but sunny summer styles (aren't esses fun?) back in Canada! Let's take a look at her choices so far.

[Pictured; Rilla in blue bridesmaid's dress with yellow shoes.]

**Bonnie blue frock**

First off, I do _not_understand the decision by the press to slot this wedding photo next to that grainy, funereal one. I mean, funerals are _depressing_, and it's not like Rilla had any control of when her friend got married, right? How was she supposed to know her neighbour would die around the same time?

Anyway, pictured above is Rilla in a dream of a dress. It's a stuntacular blue crepe with voile overdress, and they combine to recall _perfectly _Cinderella's ballgown. Almost. This is a bit less layered, and a bit more fitted, so that it floats into all the right places, just like seafoam. This fairy tale fashion might be too much for some people, but Rilla Blythe and fellow bridesmaids nicely undercut it with cute kitten-heels in buttercup yellow. There's nothing like a _hint _of sunshine to bring out the cornflower in cornflower blue. Excellent taste, as always, Rilla!

[Picture of Rilla leaning against lighthouse in summer outfit.]

**She sells sea shells **

What could be sweeter than this calf-length skirt in seashell print? It's perfect for summer picnics and seaside strolls, and the A-line cut fits Rilla like a glove. And judging from the way it compliments Rilla's choice of summer tee-shirt, it pairs well with just about anything. My only concern is that PK will forget to look anywhere else – and it would be a shame if after coming all that way he missed the Canadian landscape!

**If the shoe fits**

Surprised? Of _course_you're not! This week I saved the best to last. Just _look _at these shoes!

[Pictured; a tryptic style grouping of shoes worn by Rilla Blythe.]

I know I said I was saving the best for last, but I can't resist diving in with my favourite of this shoe selection. There's no occasion you can't fit this white, scalloped sandal to. Elegant and summery, the slip-on design is easy to don, and ideal for everything from romantic seaside retreats to walks down country lanes. The rounded toe adds just a _whisper_of romance. What's not to love?

Next in line are a pair of pigeon blue ballet flats. You can see they're very slightly enhanced with a floral inset design that adds personality without detracting from their practicality. Off to feed the birds or walk a boardwalk? Nothing could be better!

Okay, except maybe these Converse All Stars. Here Rilla features a bright green pair that make her eyes pop. They won't do her much good if she goes wading – that canvas will be wet for ages - but for a hike in the woods while still looking smart, they can't be beat.

* * *

_From the desk of Irene Howard, Twitter: IreneH_SLBeacon  
The Shoreline Beacon  
July X – , 2012_

**This sceptered isle**

Pomp and circumstance has come to the town of Glen St Mary this week as Prince Ken makes his royal entrance. He arrived yesterday afternoon, and is reportedly staying with Rilla Blythe's family at Ingleside.

Unfortunately for the Prince's Cinderilla, she never got the memo about attendant ceremony this would entail. She's pictured below looking positively relaxed in odd shoes and last year's fashion in skirts as she shows off the famous Harbour Light to His Majesty. Such colonial taste might suit a local islander, but it's hardly what we've come to expect of royalty.

It's just as well they look cozy, because Prince Ken will have to use an awful lot of polish if he hopes to instill his style in Rilla. Can he pull it off before his Barbie is brought before the royal court of approval, or is his Mitzi doomed to perish amidst oceans large and wide? He'd better, because wider still and wider does _not _sound like King Owen's approach when bringing people into the familial fold.

* * *

_From the desk of Edith Macdonald, Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp  
Associated Press,  
July X – ,_

**Canada; Land of hope and glory?**_  
_

Prince Kenneth arrived the day before yesterday at Ingleside, Glen St Mary, summer home to Miss Rilla Blythe. Asked for an opinion, anonymous but reliable sources report the royal reception as warm, saying 'His Highness was very at ease during the meeting.' The Blythe family could not be reached for comment, but are pictured here returning from a picnic, with Prince Kenneth on Rilla's arm.

[Pictured; Rilla and Ken exiting the maple grove, with dog beside them. Dr. Anne Blythe follows with picnic basket and Dr Gilbert Blythe.]

This visit, which has occasioned some alteration to the prince's pre-existing travel arrangements, is off to a promising start. We can but hope Miss Blythe's reception by royals is similarly inviting.

* * *

_From the desk of Olive Kirk, Twitter: OliveK_SLBeacon  
The Shoreline Beacon,  
July X – , 2012_

**Maple she'll say yes?**

The song says 'Give me your answer true' and pictured below are Prince Ken and his Cinderilla, of all things, on a bicycle built for two. Yes, folks, those are still in vogue over at Ingleside. We think it's probably a hangover from teaching _Rilla _to ride, and coming in useful now that the Drs Blythe are grandparents.

[Pictured; Dr Gilbert Blythe helming the bicycle-built-for-two while Isabella Raine (face obscured) pedals behind him.]

But it's not just old and young putting the tandem bicycle through its paces this summer, as Rilla and her Prince Charming turn towards it for romance.

[Pictured; Ken and Rilla cycling down the Shore Road on the same bicycle.]

We asked sport reporter, Douglas Drew to weigh in, and on the subject of tandem cycling, he says, ' They [two-seater bicycles] aren't easy to manouever. Rilla and Ken better be perfectly in synch, or this celebrated couple could be headed for catastrophe among the rocks!'

Speculation runs rampant as to the outing. Could it be an elaborate gambit building to a marriage proposal? We asked; here's what you said.

Betty (Twitter: BMeade) on Twitter said; 'It's summer. On an Island. Can't Rilla and her prince cycle in peace? #RillaWatch.

Amateur Cyclist (Twitter: SpinningWheels) said; 'The prince cycles? Who knew? Guess they're all set for Oxford, then!'

While Oscar the Cat (Twitter: Oscarthecat) tweeted; Where am I?! Shouldn't there be a basket for Rilla's favourite feline on that bike?

Still others spotted the romance in the realism. Fiona Crawford (Twitter: Not_Those_Crawfords) tweeted; 'Bet it turns out to be some kind of elaborate proposal. Anyone else thinking of the old nursery song? #DaisyDaisy #RillaWatch

And Ellen Douglas (Twitter: EllenOpines) tweeted; 'They're going to wrap up by the Lighthouse, right? Is there a more romantic spot on the island?'

Officially, nothing has been confirmed. But there's no denying that Cinderilla and her Prince look _awfully_snug on that bicycle built for two.

* * *

_Heat Magazine,_  
_July, 2012_

**Putting the R(edhead) in RGB Colour; Animated redheads**

_We're back! This week we're seeing red as we take a look at the pixilated, animated and cartoonish redheads of the big and small screen. Reader beware; they don't have to be real to be witches!_

**Merida**

New to the redheaded canon, Merida is spunky, independent-minded and averse to marriage. In other words, a perfect cocktail for witchcraft. In fact, readers _au fait _ with the plot will recall she actually visits a witch with a mind towards quashing those matriarchal marriage decrees. If she isn't _actually_a witch, Pixar's Princess Merida is well on the way to becoming one.  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 68%

**Jane Jetson**

Let's face it: you don't get a robot maid by being _normal_. And you don't survive a family like the Jetsons with your sanity preserved without a healthy dose of magic, either. And then, of course, there's the whole Futuristic Family thing. Tried projecting you and yours into the future, lately? Yeah, we had no luck, either. Verdict? _Definitely _witchcraft at play, here.  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 89%

**Wilma Flintstone**

What is it with these temporally askew women and red hair? Is it something in the continuum of spacetime? Anyway, she's strong-willed, a definite symptom of witchcraft, and has a positively supernatural knack for getting Fred out of scrapes. Supposedly she's modelled on Alice Kramden of _The Honeymooners _fame – except, obviously no one is going to the moon, here. _Much _too early. Unless, of course, we suspect Wilma of a broomstick. Bet Jane Jetson could pull it off, though...  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 53%

**Jessica Rabbit **

Remember how a previous article in this series addressed the seductive abilities of redheads? Well, Jessica Rabbit fits that bill perfectly. Redheaded, curvy and a smoky voice to boot, you'd be hard pressed _not _to suspect her of brewing up a love potion or two. After all, it wasn't just Roger Rabbit this _feme fatale _charmed – and she wouldn't be the first witch to use her…magic…to devastating effect…  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 92%

**Princess Fiona (_Shrek)_**

Notably, she has a funny habit of turning into an ogre of an evening, which is…well, would you call it normal? Shapeshifting of that calibre takes some _serious_witchcraft, if you ask us. And lest you think she's the unsuspecting victim of a spell gone wrong, we direct you towards her pluck and verve. Does she strike _you_as a victim? No, nor us, either.  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 75%

_Don't forget to get in touch! Follow us on Twitter or like our Facebook page to tell us about your favourite redheaded witch, or vote in our regular Witchcraft Poll. We're throwing the doors wide open this week, so if there's a topic we haven't covered, or an angle we've missed, this is your cue! Help us catch all history's redheads and their witchy ways for posterity._

* * *

_From the desk of Edith Macdonald, Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp  
Associated Press,  
July X – , 2012_

**Row, row the royal boat…**

Following a clandestine cycle along the shore road, the Royal Mitzi and her prince were spotted rowing around Four Winds famous Lighthouse Point. Sources say they spent half an hour scrabbling among the rocks, before heading back to shore.

A lucky thing, too, as they seem to have missed one of the Island's famous thunderstorms by inches. Happily for Cinderilla, her prince is a first rate rower. We encourage readers to watch for him on the Oxford rowing team later in the year.

* * *

_From the desk of Edith Macdonald, Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp  
Associated Press,  
July X – , 2012_

**Dreaming of spires **

From October of this year, Cinderilla is off to join her prince at Oxford. Both Prince Ken and his Mitzi will attend Oriel college, where she will study sociology to his public policy. Prince Kenneth, formerly of Baliol, is returning to Oxford, Rilla Blythe will be new to the experience. It's time to lay back and think of England; flying terms with bands of gold await Miss Blythe in the not-so-distant future.

* * *

_Memo posted to the website of the North American Journalistic Association._

**Journalistic Ethics Committee Verdict In**

The Journalistic Ethics Committee has voted this week in favour of Jordan Montgomery's resumption of his journalistic career. The committee advises him to keep speculation to a minimum, and as per that old saw, stick to the facts. Whether he resumes work with the Associated Press remains at their discretion.

* * *

_So Jordan is liberated, possibly...and just in time for Original McFishie to retake the helm of her wonderful creation. She'll be back next week with your royal correspondence as usual. __A final thank you to Kslchen whose world this is built on, and to Original McFishie for handing her story over to me for the past month and letting me play. I've had ever so much fun and not all of it at the expense of Edith MacDonald. I'm sure I'll find my way back here, but until then, with love and whimsy, it's goodbye. - Alinya _


	16. Pop! Goes the Weasel!

_Apologies for the delay this week. There was a slight hitch in the newsroom as new staff came in, old resumed their posts, and we went to Avonlea, where it turned out a power failure had forced them to run on an outdated generator only half the people present understood how to run. Better late than never though, right? Here, without further ado, is this week's correspondence, giving you all the latest on Ken, Rilla, and what the press is saying about them - Alinya_

* * *

_From the desk of Simon Sloane, Twitter: SSloane_Chronicles  
Chronicles of Avonlea  
August X – , 2012 _

**Royalty welcomed in Avonlea!**

A first in Avonlea history this week as Prince Kenneth made a royal visit to the rural farming community. Ostensibly brought there by the charms of his Cinderilla, Miss Rilla Blythe of Halifax, the prince went on to visit with the extended Blythe family of Green Gables.

While the Royal Family has previously included PEI in its tours of the Canadian provinces, never have they come to Avonlea before, and the village cannot do enough to make them welcome. From union jacks to red currant wine, everyone is extending the famous Avonlea hospitality to its royal guest – or trying to.

Prince Kenneth was first spotted by Mrs Rachel Lynde; specifically, she says, 'I saw the car, you understand. It wasn't actually _Him_. But I _knew _just who it was, because no one else would travel in that kind of expensive, black car with tinted windows, or be followed so closely by _other _black cars, also tinted – that's what.'

**Pastime in good company **

Upon arrival, the Prince reportedly spent an afternoon being received at Green Gables homestead, the ancestral home of Dr Gilbert Blythe, neurosurgeon.

Also present for the reception was renowned Canadian authoress , Anne Shirley Blythe. Readers may remember her for her ground-breaking first novel, _The Mouse that Swam through Pudding_.

Additionally present for the occasion was Dr Blythe's extended family. Readers will recall the recent Charlottetown run of Davy Keith's interactive _Richard III_, popularly dubbed _When is the Winter of our discontent?_

But that's not all! Attendant with Davy was his wife, Millie, known to the community for her pies, but better known to the wider world for her innovative artistic pieces in pie crust and roadkill. Her current exhibition, _Pop Goes the Weasel_is ongoing at the Sea View Gallery in White Sands (See Arts section, page 12 for a review.)

Not forgetting, of course, _The Chronicles' _own Bertha Shirley, whose journalistic nouse first made Avonlea newsworthy by reporting on its hidden gems. Due to a conflict of interests, she here declines comment.

No doubt as the visit evolves, Prince Ken will become familiar with those same gems. Social media reports so far place Rilla and her prince variously at Hester Grey's Garden, the Barry pond (immortalised for young readers everywhere in Mrs Blythe's _Dryad's Bubble_), and strolling through the locally christened 'lovers' lane.'

We extend every best wish to the visiting couple, and would be remiss if we passed up the opportunity to point out that no visit to Avonlea is complete until you've slept overnight in a cherry tree.

* * *

_From the desk of Josie Pye, Twitter; JPye_Chronicles  
Chronicles of Avonlea  
Arts Section,  
August X – , 2012 _

**Pong Goes the Weasel**

_Pop Goes the Weasel_, exhibition by Millie Blythe (alias Cailla Thyme) opened at the Sea View Gallery in White Sands this week. For those unfamiliar with the artist, her pieces feature the eclectic combination of roadkill and pastry. For those familiar…you aren't likely to forget. First discovered for her arrangement (some said scintillating) of decaying blackbirds in a pie, Mrs Blythe rapidly rose to notoriety. At the time it was daring, edgy, and made quite the point about the environmental hazards of motorized vehicles.

Since then, though, the need for cars has diminished not a jot, and there's only so much a person can do with dead animals and pie crusts. True, the weasel positioned front and centre of the current exhibition _pops_, just as the title promises, but one wonders if that isn't so much for its pungency as any deeper concern for the preservation of the environment.

As hinted above, there's the very pressing consideration of when the art stops being art and starts becoming, well, _dead_. A question, by the way, no one has needed to ask since an American artist's compulsion to depict depiction of the Crucifixion in burnt toast went mouldy.

That's not to say the exhibition is completely without merit. _Death Comes to Mrs Tiggy Winkle_, wherein the body of a former hedgehog cuddles the titular Beatrix Potter and is cradled in a blood-spattered piecrust is certainly moving. But we hazard Mrs Blythe is in danger of becoming something of a one-trick pony. Save the planet and reduce carbon emissions by all means, but bury the roadkill.

_Pop Goes the Weasel is on display at the Sea Views Gallery from August X – to X – . We refer you to the gallery's website for details._

* * *

_From the updated Prince Edward Island Tourism Bureau website_

**PRINCE**** Kenneth Frank EDWARD Alexander ISLAND(ER)**

Nestled between Quebec, the St Lawrence Gulf, and New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island has long been considered the hidden gem of the Canadian crown. Perhaps best known is its capital, Charlottetown. This summer, though, has seen several other, better-kept secrets stuck firmly on the map, as Prince Kenneth travelled down the province visiting with his Cinderilla.

So, where, to the interested tourist, did the royal couple stay?

**Where in the province was Cinderilla?**

The first port of call was the golden idyll of Glen St Mary. Perhaps best known to the locals for its Rainbow Valley, so-called for the way the light is refracted through the trees, the little hamlet is often overlooked by tourists. In addition to the valley, it spots a sunny maple grove, and is a stone's throw, as the crow flies, from the heritage-listed lighthouse at Four Winds Point. Also easily accessible is the nearby harbour, which runs a Sunset Sail service every evening from five o'clock starting June 1st. _National Geographic _might attribute the best sunsets in the world to Port Elgin, Ontario, but that's only because they haven't seen _these _sunsets. Trust us, on this; they're not to be missed!

From Glen St. Mary the couple spent a mere _day _in rural Avonlea – not nearly enough to do it justice! We're biased, of course, but even so, we recommend you plan for a couple of days at least. From the snowy-white Avenue of cherry trees, to those rolling golden fields, and the deep sapphire blue of Barry's Pond, nowhere boasts more bucolic charm than Avonlea. The drinks are redder (and taste better!) , the flowers sweeter, and the cherries riper than anywhere else. For a relaxed weekend away from the toils and tribulations of the busy world, there's nowhere better!

If the royal connection isn't tempting enough, literary tourists will be pleased to know that quite a few Avonlea treasures have been immortalised forever in the beloved works of Anne Shirley Blythe. Pick up your Literary Guide to Avonlea from the nearest tourist information centre, and see if _you _can pick out which places and which children inspired the iconic (mis)adventures of the loveable Katie, Maurice, and Cuthbert the Cat!

* * *

_From the desk of Flossie Fairfax, Twitter: FlossFairfax_Tribune  
__White Sands Tribune,  
August X – , 2012_

**All in good fun **

Looking for an exciting and innovative way to pass an afternoon in White Sands? Tired of sandcastle competitions and boardwalk strolls? Perhaps you've had one too many ice-creams from the local booth. Luckily, we're here to bring you the Sea View's inspired solution!

Currently on exhibition is Cailla Thyme's (Avonlea former local Millie Blythe) new exhibition, _Pop Goes the Weasel! _Yes, really; Mrs Blythe is back with her shortcrust and roadkill, and we couldn't be happier about it. This comes after the successful launch of her first novel _Sing a Song of Sixpence _show, which reached even citified Toronto and Montreal before halting due to the untimely decomposition of the exhibits. It was succeeded by the bedazzling and beringed _Rings on Her Fingers, Bells on her Toes _of London, Ontario acclaim, which made headlines for the decorous way it memorialised a Mennonite horse struck down in a devastating roadside accident.

Eschewing the proverbial box this time is an expired weasel, delicately positioned in a round of choux pastry. If that doesn't sound edible, don't worry. As ever, Cailla Thyme isn't asking you to _eat _her art, just think about the ramifications. The punctured weasel in piecrust is a prescient call to consider the perils and dangers of the highway, especially with the sudden influx of Avonlea tourism. People are coming from all around to see the village haled by Prince Kenneth, and with them comes a devastating rise in our carbon footprint. What better way to reconsider our transport than by scrutinising the remains of our local animal population?

It's not just weasels, either. The Avonlea _Chronicles _have rightly singled out _Death Comes to Mrs. Tiggy Winkle_as a poignant and potent message of environmental catastrophe. Our personal favourite, though, was _Fantastic Mr Fox? _Wherein the partial remains of a local fox were arranged in a fluffy bed of phyllo pastry. First inspection suggests our fantastic fox has merely gone to sleep in this sugary confection, but closer inspection reveals its shattered limbs and absent tufts of fur. _Vermin_, the piece seems to ask, _or horribly maimed animal crippled by modernity? _

Our only word of warning is that it's not an exhibition for the faint of heart. More than one youngster has been escorted out in tears. Our recommendation is to drop the kids off at the local park, or children's museum if it's raining, and take an hour or two to yourself. You won't be sorry. Well, sorry for the animals maybe – but isn't that the point of good art?

_Pop Goes the Weasel is on display at Sea Views Art Gallery from August X- through X-. Buy your ticket at the door, or organise your visit through the website below. _

* * *

_Dates and Updates  
St Andrews Presbyterian Church newsletter,  
August X – , 2012_

Thanks go out to all who helped with this week's floral arrangements in anticipation of the Prince's arrival. Although it is regrettable that Miss Blythe and her prince were unable to attend, we should all take satisfaction in the fact that if they _had_, the church would have not only met but exceeded the royal standard. Special thanks to Mrs Andrews, who oversaw the arrangements, and to Gertie Pye, whose tiger lilies beautified the altar.

The columbines, donated by Mrs. Rachel Lynde, were committed in loving memory of Mr. Thomas Lynde.

Further thanks are extended to Mrs. Barry for her contribution of raspberry cordial and also of currant wine to smarten up this week's refreshments. Certainly the young people appreciated the variety!

\- Rev. Alan


	17. City of Spires

_Authors Note: I'm back! Thank you to Alinya for manning the presses while I was away. Not only did she cover my 3-week vacation, but she picked this up the week I was back to enable me to mange my jet lag and then stepped in again last week when I was afflicted with post-holiday blues (it's a real condition!). And didn't she do an excellent job? Please all stand and give a rousing AOGG Community round of applause to show your appreciation (pause as everyone moves their chairs, stands, claps, claps again, then claps some more before shuffling chairs and sitting back down). Excellent, and thank you to those that added some cheers and whistles, it's well deserved. She did such an excellent job that I don't think we can let her go. After much discussion (a quick PM exchange) we've agreed to co-manage this going forward, so some of these articles will be from me and some from Alinya. Bonus points to those who can figure out who wrote what each week. Thanks, as always, to the wonderfully talented Kslchen who created this 'verse and allows me (and Alinya) to play in it. And without further ado…we're off to editorial on life in Oxford!_

* * *

_The British Royal Family_

_Press Release_

_September 2012_

**Prince of Wales to commence Masters of Public Policy**

His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales will commence a one-year's Master of Public Policy at Oriel College, Oxford in September 2012.

Recently, His Royal Highness has been focusing on learning through a series of Internships firstly at the United Nations in New York (2010/11), and most recently with the British Government in London (2011/12 Prior to that, His Royal Highness completed Officer Training Courses at Royal Military College Sandhurst (2007), Britannia Royal Naval College Dartmouth (2008), and Royal Air Force College Cranwell (2008), followed by different stages of flight training with the Royal Air Force.

This will be the Prince's second academic qualification from the University of Oxford, having been awarded a first-class honours degree in Philosophy, Politics and Economics from Balliol College in 2006.

Oriel College is the fifth oldest of the University of Oxford's constituent colleges. Founded in 1326, the majority of Oriel's buildings date from the 17th century onwards. Situated in the heart of Oxford, it is home to approximately 300 undergraduate, 250 postgraduate students, and 100 members of academic staff.

The Prince has opted to live in private accommodation, close to the college.

His Royal Highness will have a reduced public schedule during this time to enable him to focus on his studies. He will, however, continue to support charitable commitments of organisations close to his heart including Combat Stress, Royal Commonwealth Ex-Services League, British Expertise International, and Rugby Football Union All Schools Programme

We request that the press respect his privacy and that of his neighbours during this time.

* * *

_Associated Press Offices_

_August 2012_

Jordan Montgomery smelt the coffee in his hand then took a good, long sip. It felt good to be back at his desk at Associated Press, exonerated by the Journalistic Committee, ready to pick up his Royal Correspondent duties again. And yet, something in him yearned for more. His time off had given him a much needed break, and even greater needed perspective. He was proud of his journalistic career, his ability to read in people what others missed. He'd applied it admirably to his role as a Royal Correspondent. Perhaps he'd been wrong about the Prince's latest squeeze, perhaps time would prove him right, but he wouldn't be able to find out with the new restrictions placed on him by AP. Definitely not with the articles being referred to him by the intern Cavendish. He glanced at the suggested articles; he'd recommended an overview of Rilla Blythe's summer fashion choices, an increase in ginger kittens in the area where Rilla Blythe resided and hinting her feline was rather promiscuous (like owner like cat, he mused), there was even something about a cat sitting on the doorstep two buildings up from her brownstone, meowing at all hours of the night. No, he needed more. He looked at the three papers on his desk. The first, his new contract from Associated Press, he screwed up and threw in his waste paper basket. A change of scene and society was just what he needed. He had no ties in New York and could add his own special touch to this…Yes, it was just what he needed. The second, a letter of acceptance, he signed, placed it in the envelope, and then into the outgoing mail. (It amused him that AP would pay the postage.) Finally he signed his letter of resignation and put it in the internal mail. Satisfied, he got up, straightened his tie, and headed out of the building. He had new horizons to explore.

* * *

_Oxford Environmental Defenders (O.E.D.)  
Freshers' Fayre Flyer  
October X –, 2012_

**Bicycle Built for Two?**

Oxford buzzes with excitement this time of year, as returning students come 'home' for the academic year and new students become part of the Oxford family.

Oxford has been known for its excellent teaching since 1096. In 2012/3 we'd like to also be known for being the greenest University in the UK. One way to do that is get on your bike and reduce your car/bus journeys.

Last year, new undergraduates told us that learning to negotiate Oxford roads by bike was an added stress as they grappled with understand their academic requirements. To help combat this, Oxford Cycle is offering free tandem orientations during fresher's week.

Learn the best cycle routes, most direct routes to your classes, ways to avoid hills after a busy week, or, if you're looking for a challenge, the best hills to test your metal on. All this from seasoned Oxford graduates, who can answer any questions, be they about cycling or studying here.

Many Oxford students enjoy cycling. Even one of our new student, HRH Prince Kenneth, was seen cycling over the summer. Perhaps you'll meet him on one of the Oxford cycle paths.

To sign up, look for the Oxford Cycles stand at freshers week.

* * *

_From the desk of Abigail Morse, Twitter: Morse_Code  
The Isis; Oxford's student newspaper  
October X – , 2012_

**Someone's in the Kitchen with Cinderilla**

[Picture: Rilla exiting Sainsbury's]

HRH Kenneth's Cinderilla was today spotted exiting Sainsbury's with a bicycle basket full of groceries. Prominently featured are carrot tops, and what looks like a loaf of bread. We can only speculate as to what else the Royal Mitizi was purchasing, so threw the floor open to our readers, and asked what recipes you'd recommend to royalty living on the student dime. Here's a selection of your responses.

**Cottage Pie**

Based on those carrots alone, MabelsFabels wrote into the blog with a recipe for cottage pie. How's it different from Shepherd's Pie, you ask? Well, Shepherd's Pie is made with lamb, but Cottage Pie is made with…cottager! Bet you didn't know that.

**Bread and Butter Pudding**

Over on our Facebook page, Nelson Gabriel submitted a mouthwatering recipe for bread and butter pudding. Too rich for your blood? Not to worry, he goes on to offer a savoury alternative that swaps out the sweet for lots of cheese. Cheap, cheerful, and multipurpose – what's not to like?

**Egg Free Omelette**

Turns out you can make an omlet without breaking eggs! Back on the blog, Doc_Martin is watching out for the vegan community with an inspired egg-free omlet. Intrigued? Hope over to The Isis's website, and check the comments section for tips on how to mix chickpeas, non-dairy milk and apple cider vinegar, plus one or two other bits and bobs for a fantastic result. We should know; we've tried it.

Still hungry? You're in luck! Our Facebook Page is awash in recommendations, and the blog is more active than ever. If that's still not enough, pop over to Twitter and russel through the links our followers sent in. We've got everything from Elizabeth David to Cooking in a Bedsit. You'll never be short for culinary inspiration ever again!


	18. Visions and Revisions

_Oxford Debates Twitter:At OxfordDebatingSociety*_

_Announcements: Next week's debate_

Is it time to revisit the idea of a British Republic? Is it time to try the 1649 experiment again? As we welcome a royal student to Oxford, join us for next weeks debate "Monarchy or Republic?" All students (royal or otherwise) are welcome. Can't make the event? Show your support by dressing as your favourite royal throughout history for freshers week #royaloxford

* * *

_From the desk of the Unapologetic Bookworm_  
_Tumblr Blog; Visions and Revisions_

**Anonymous asked; what childhood book have you been rereading lately?**

This is a fantastic question! And I actually have an answer, but sort of by accident. It started because, like everyone else, probably, I was following all the news of Rilla Blythe, and got thinking just how out of proportion the whole thing was getting. Like, she couldn't seem to go out and eat an avocado without it being a thing, you know? Which was patently absurd, because if we watched normal people this much we'd never get anything done.

So, anyway, we got talking about this at Poetry and Cake (the other evening, and someone (D, maybe, who I think I've mentioned on here before) said it was sort of life imitating art, but not in a good way. No one else knew what he meant, so he went on this whole tangent about that time in the Katie, Maurice, and Cuthbert books that Katie and Maurice wish to be friends with everyone. Remember?

Well, I didn't remember well enough, so I hunted down my old copy of Kindred Spirits and started rereading. And, as so often happens with these things, I couldn't unsee it. Like, there's this scene where, after the Dryad in the bubble grants their wish for friendship with everyone, the phone rings off the hook. And it just. Keeps. Ringing. Until finally Cuthbert the Cat (who wanted no part of this from jump) gets so aggrieved that he has to physically disconnect the phone from its socket. And all I could think was of poor Rilla being mobbed by the press back when there was all that fuss over her visa and what she could and couldn't do based on it. And how, if she were literally anyone else, or even just dating someone else, probably no one would notice.

Then, obviously, since the phone is disconnected, all the instant-friends from the spell mob the house, and Maurice gets more and more irritable until he finally shouts at them to go away – which was pretty much what happened to Rilla, too. Except she didn't have a Dryad in a bubble to undo the wish if she asked nicely and brought it liniment cake. And they haven't gone away.

So, I guess that's the roundabout way of saying I've been rereading Anne Shirley Blythe's Kindred Spirits and thinking about the press, and the stuff it gets away with and whether or not it should. What about everyone else? Reread any childhood favourites lately?

* * *

_From the desk of Abigail Morse_  
_The Isis_  
_Oct., X – ,_

**Oot and aboot town**

Last week we brought you recipes; this week we bring you royals, up close and personal. In this week's Royalty Roundup we point out some of the places Ken and his Barbie have cropped up while oot and aboot, as the Canadians say, in Oxford.

**Picture perfect**

First off is the George St Odeon, where Cinderilla and her prince were spotted stepping in to the latest by Woody Allen. The Isis has been unable to reach the couple for an opinion on the film, but witnesses spotted them talking animatedly as they exited the theatre doors – so if nothing else, it got them thinking. Always a good thing, right?

**Dreaming and desire**

[Pictured; Ken and Rilla walking along the Oxford Canal]

Andrew Lang commemorates our willows and poplars tall, but he never mentioned the canal, which makes a lovely walk, any time of day. Here, Ken and the Royal Mitzi are caught walking along its banks by twilight, which this time of year is particularly gorgeous. If you look, you can just see St Barnabus' church tower in the distance. Of course, we advise a bit of caution, since it lives forever in the memories of Oxford locals as that place where Inspector Morse dug up and solved a historical murder that one time…but then, you can't walk through Oxford without tripping over murder locations – especially if you live in Jericho. We hope they enjoy the canal – and don't find any dead bodies!

**Baskets bulge with (borrowed?) books**

It wouldn't be the start of term without an obligatory trip to the Oxford Blackwells'. We're pretty sure there's a spell on it that prevents customers leaving without at least two books. Just last week Rilla Blythe was seen entering the shop with a laundry list of books, presumably for her Msc in sociology. We have every confidence the famous bookstore was up to the task, and just hope she paused for a restorative cup of tea in the café. Book hunting can be hungry work.

We can't make C. S. Lewis's promise to bar the city against despair in the coming year – there will still be exams and they will still be horrid – but we will keep you in royal correspondence. If we miss anything, or if you spot Cinderilla or her prince between issues, tweet at us on Twitter or find us on Facebook. And, of course, as Isis devotees well know, the blog is always open to incoming comments.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery Twitter: AtRoyalCorrespondent_

_Royal Correspondent, Daily Mail_

**Royal Student Digs**

Remember student living? Cramped accommodation, houses with mould problems and no heating? Seems Prince Ken is not having these problems as he settles into life at Oxford. The Daily Mail has an_** exclusive**_ look at his student accommodation. Situated in Jericho,one of **_Oxford's most historic suburb_**s, Prince Ken is residing in a luxury four floor town house. In addition to the master bedroom (with ensuite), there is are two double guest bedrooms as well as a third basement accommodation, with an ensuite showroom. This 1844 square foot Southmoor Road property also boasts a large kitchen diner and two further well proportioned reception rooms.

**_Canadian Lodger_**

Students are used to making the most of the available space, often converting the reception rooms into extra bedrooms to stretch their meagre budgets further. Prince Kenneth is also taking in boarders it seems. Rather conveniently, Rilla Blythe, the Canadian wannabe the prince was linked to in New York is also furthering her studies at Oxford and 'renting a room' from his Royal Highness. It seems she must have brains as well as her other attributes, how else would someone with an average student record pass the rigorous entrance requirements for Oxford. One wonders how she can afford to share this luxury accommodation on a student income, and can only assume that in addition to her rent she is providing _**"domestic duties"**_ to maintain her position.

* * *

* Based on Oxford Union, founded 1823,the University's debating club that bills itself as the last bastion of free speech.


	19. The Rumour Mill

_Here at Royal Correspondent we are pleased to bring you the news behind the main story Last week's By A Simply Twist of Fate referenced several articles, here they are in full. Thanks once again to the wonderful Kslchen for letting us play in her universe. Alinya and McFishie_

* * *

_From the desk of Emily White Twitter:EmWhiteHomes_  
_Interior Design Consultant, Daily Mail_  
_Xx October 2012_

**Barbie's dream house Daily Mail EXCLUSIVE**

(Main Photo: Collage of photos of several rooms)

The style of royal student digs can be revealed in these exclusive photos that show off Prince Ken's Oxford abode.

_Quilted throws making a come back?_

(Photo: Ken & Rilla's living room)

A few years ago, quilts on sofas were seen as a fashion faux pas, but they must be making a comeback as here they are seen setting off the white sofas, from John Lewis' latest range. The room look is completed with what look to be antique coffee tables, which contrast with the latest audio visual equipment.

_A place to natter and cook_

(Photo: Ken & Rilla's Kitchen)

We don't know if Prince Ken or Rilla Blythe is the chief cook of the house, but this kitchen island creates an inviting space to enjoy coffee or a glass of wine, and catch up on each other's day while the evening meal is prepared. With the latest in coffee makers in full view, we can also assume it's a great source of caffeine for late night study vigils!

_Entertain like Royalty_

(Photo: Ken & Rilla's Dining Area)

Most students don't have the luxury of an eat-in kitchen and a dining room, but Prince Ken's student home comes ready for dinner with ten of his closest friends on this luxurious oak dining table.

_Curl up with a good book_

(Photo: Ken & Rilla's Reception Room)

A sitting room and a drawing room are a luxury even for non students, but one which Prince Ken and Rilla Blythe enjoy. Whether they use it to entertain friends separately, to enjoy their own space after a lovers tiff, or just somewhere to curl up with a good book in front of the fire, this room looks cosy and inviting.

_Road to the Royal Bed Chamber_

(Photo: Ken & Rilla's Hall)

Photos weren't available of the upstairs sleeping chambers, but our exclusive source revealed that while the house boasts four bedrooms, the stairs at the end of this hall lead to the main bedroom, which is shared by Rilla Blythe and the Prince, no doubt snuggling up keeps them warm on chilly Oxford nights. Off the bedroom is a 'Jack and Jill' style ensuite, giving the Prince and his would-be princess their own bathroom space.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp_  
_Royal Correspndent, Daily Mail_  
_Xx October 2012_

**Where have all our taxes gone?**

Last year the Royal Family claimed a whopping £47.4 billion from the British tax payer. The Sovereign Grant is the royal expense account, for the cost of travel, security, staff and the upkeep of royal palaces, but with rumours once more circulating Westminster of tax increases in the next budget, now is not the time for the Royal Family to be recklessly lavishing money.

_Especially when those luxuries are commissioned by the girl the Prince is currently dating._

Recent photos of Prince Ken's illicit love nest show an array of top brands and flashy modern electronics. It is estimated that the televisions shown in the kitchen and the two living areas alone would total £8,500. The kitchen boasts top of the range Smeg cookware, and Italian coffee makers worth well in excess of £5,000. In addition our resident antique expert values the coffee tables and dining table, if they are genuine antiques, at well over £25,000.

The British public has a long history of scrutinizing how the Privy Purse is spent. While the Royals are not expected to live in squalor, they are expected to be modest in their choices and conscious of who funds their luxury. Prince Ken allowing his girlfriend to dictate luxury, taxpayer funded furnishings is, simply unacceptable.

This paper calls for closer scrutiny of the Privy Purse and how it is spent. If so much as one pence of taxpayer funding has been spent to feather the comfort of the Prince's lover it should not only be repaid in full, with interest, and charges of fraud brought to those who spend what is not rightfully theirs.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordon Montgomery, Twitter; : JrdnMRoyalCorresp_  
_Daily Mail,_  
_Xx October, 2012_

**Mayhem caused by motorcycle menace!**

Prince and his squeeze panic Oxford locals

[Pictured: Mrs M. Forrester, 83, in state of extreme distress.]

Oxford locals are in pandemonium following the arrival of Cinderilla and her Prince to Oxford. The Oxford Ring Road is always, mayhem, of course, but citizens report it as 'worse than ever' now that royalty has taken it by storm.

This after the Prince rushed a corner to collect his paramour from class. Mrs M. Forrester (pictured above) went on record saying 'It was terrifying! I really thought we'd be pushed off the road!' Mrs Forrester was, at the time of incident, returning from Christ College, Oxford, where her daughter was holding a guest lecture.

And she's not alone! Mable Phillips, 72, is quoted as saying she 'feared for her life' when she exited Debenham's the other day, only to be accosted by the maniacal motorcycle. And elsewhere, William Roberts, 85, and his wife claim they narrowly avoided a collision with the notorious motorcycle and its riders as they pulled out of the parking lot next to the George St Odeon.

Of course, it's an ages old fact that royalty goes where it wants and does what it likes. We humbly suggest it wouldn't hurt if they were a bit more civilised about it, though. No need to rub our plebeian noses in our lack of status. Meanwhile, we advise all parties to brush up on their highway code – and beware of royalty that arrives by motorcycle!

* * *

From the desk of Alice Clow Twitter: ClowFshonEd  
Fashion Editor  
Daily Mail  
XX October 2012

**Fashion furore in the fortress as barbie dresses Ken**

Sources, close to members of the Royal Family, have revealed that the Palace insisted Prince Ken change clothes moments before opening the Tedworth House recovery centre, funded by Help for Heroes.

Rilla Blythe, the Prince's Oxford "flat mate", it has been revealed, has been influencing the Prince to drop royal protocol and follow her fashion advice.

(Photo of Rilla outside Jack & Jones, the window displaying leather jackets)

_"Rilla thinks leather trousers are sexy" _our source revealed, "she thinks it's ridiculous that the Palace tells him what he can and can't wear, and suggested he try something more modern for his next event". The source went on to suggest that the Princes' recent fast change was down to an almost-public fashion faux pas, influenced by his Canadian amore.

Questions were raised when photos emerged of the Prince arriving, leather clad, on a motorcycle fifteen minutes before the ceremony, only to be seen ten minutes later in full military uniform.

(Photo: Collage of a blurry photo of a man who could be Ken, sitting on a motorcycle inside the gates of Tedworth House, on his phone next to a photo of Ken in full uniform giving speech at the opening)

It was suggested at the time that the Prince had simply arrived on his motorcycle and changed into his dress uniform before the ceremony. In an _**exclusive** _Daily Mail interview, the source revealed how far Rilla Blythe's influence goes.

"Rilla thinks she is a fashionista", the source continued, "although you wouldn't always know it from her own fashion choices, she's keen to be seen as a style leader. She sees her influence on Prince Ken's style as key to achieving that goal. She often comments that the Prince looks to her for advice in all areas of his life, especially fashion".

Does this mean we will be seeing more of the Princes well formed posterior clad in leather in the future?

The Palace was unavailable for comment. We do know that Prince Ken changed before the event, shortly after receiving a phone call. Was that from the Royal Protocol Office reminding him of appropriate attire? Knowing how important protocol is to King Owen and Queen Leslie, we can only imagine how worrying this must be for them and by extension his continuing relationship with Rilla Blythe.

* * *

From the desk of Teresa Travers, Twitter; TraversSunNews  
The Sun,  
XX October,2012

**Heartless Bitch!**

**Feline forgotten by Cinderilla**

The internet is in an uproar, as it seems Rilla Blythe, notorious Cinderilla to the Prince, has abandoned her pet cat to the streets of New York. This news comes on the heels of her arrival in Oxford, whose citified spires are, obviously, too gentrified for the likes of so pedestrian and mangy a moggie.

Sightings of New York's favourite feline have risen over the summer, and range from the corner of the Royal Mitzi's street to the rooftops of surrounding buildings. He has even spawned his own hashtag, #KingGeorge, as citizens took to the net to voice their concerns.

**_Cats on a plane?_**

But can one even travel with a cat, you ask? Quite simply, you can, provided the paperwork's in order and the vaccines up to date. And frankly, we see no reason why, in keeping with the trend of the hour, Mitzi's moggie shouldn't likewise be given the royal treatment. After all, there is copious evidence suggesting there is little the Prince would not do for his Cinderilla. Surely he can get her cat across the Atlantic in a pinch?

No, it seems far more likely that George the Cat's notorious absence from Oxford can only be deliberate. Is the palace allergic? Does the prince dislike cats? Or has Rilla Blythe simply grown tired of her pet and left it to fend for itself in the wilds of New York? Perhaps our Cinderilla's cohabitation with his majesty is dependent on her excluding the cat from the proverbial castle. We can only speculate. But remember, folks, you judge a person by how they treat their animals, and poor Georgie has been sorely misused indeed. Badly done, Rilla, badly done!


	20. The Perils of Pantyhose

_Author Note: __Thanks to Oz Diva for suggesting ideas for teenage antics, and as always to Kslchen for creating this world Alinya and McFishie _

_Heat Magazine,_  
_XX, October, 2012_

**Hoist the Colours!**

_We're back with more redheads for popular consumption. This week we take to the high seas and dip in and out of the Golden Age of Piracy to bring you a list of deadly, dangerous and daring redheads. Anchors away!_

**Anne Bonny **

Famously, this redheaded pirate was first the lover and then first mate of Calico Jack Rackham. She may not have shared his delicate taste in trends, but together they captained _The Revenge_ alongside Mary Read towards the end of the Golden Age of Piracy. It all went a bit wrong, though, when the ship was seized and Rackham and crew were too drunk to fend them off. Bonny and Read did their best, but it was no good and Bonny's last words to her partner are said to have been 'Had you fought like a man you would not have been hang'd like a dog.' Mind you, it was all right for her – she escaped hanging by 'pleading the belly' and promptly disappearing into history. And people wonder why redheads and women are supposed to be unlucky aboard ships!  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 100%

**Jacquote Delahaye **

Popularly dubbed 'Back from the dead Red,' our redheaded pirates certainly are slippery – and prone to resurrection! But at least this one didn't mean to become a pirate. But following the death of her mother to childbirth, legend has it this red-headed woman turned to piracy to support a handicapped brother. She was good at it too, even faking her own death to elude government capture in the 1660s, only to resurface later with a fortune and a clever nickname.  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 110%

**Heyreddin Barbarossa **

This privateer and admiral was one of four brothers to go to sea. They began as sailors but turned to privateering in retaliation against the Knights of St John. He met with great success taking ships for various empires and was dubbed 'Barbarossa' for his red beard. He is now best known for establishing Ottoman supremacy in the Mediterranean – clearly not someone to be trifled with!  
Likelihood of witchcraft: 76%

_Have a redhead to submit? Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to send us __your__ redheaded witch theories, or participate in the ongoing witchcraft polls. We want to hear from you!_

* * *

**From the Archives **

_(a few articles from the recent past)_

_Andrew Rosemont  
__Royal Correspondent, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun  
__The Sun  
__XX July 2010_

**Le Royal's Love**

"_It's the Louvre mate, every time, not the British Museum", declares the Duke of Kendal_

Sally Jack, Chairperson of the British Museum Patrons, today claimed it was shameful that the Duke of Kendal, third in line for the throne, has expressed a preference for the Parisian Museum over the British Museum.

"The British Museum relies on support from patrons to enable us to do our work," Mrs Jack said, "It's the job of the Royal Family to support our British institutions. Prince Theodore should publically retract his comment and declare his support for the British Museum.

The Duke, who is studying architecture at Edinburgh University, was on a private tour with classmates of the former palace. A loud discussion ensued between His Royal Highness and a fellow student when the Duke made the comment, before comparing the Louvre's Pyramid to the colonnade and pediment of the British Museum.

The British Museum, which is part funded by a government grant and part funded by patrons, has been struggling to meet its budget needs for a number of years. They are hoping to raise £3m to undertake urgent building work to the buildings foundations. It is feared that the Duke's careless remarks could impact this target and leave the British Museum at risk of collapse.

Yet another example of the Royal family promotes European over British needs.

_From the desk of_ _Andrew Rosemont  
__Royal Correspondent, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun  
_XX, June, 2010

**Fur Coat and no…Pantyhose? **

Trooping the Colour comes to you this year with considerably less pomp and circumstance than previously. This in light of the revelation that Princess Persis appeared before the masses without pantyhose.

[Pictured: Persis waving to the assembled crowd from carriage, with close-up of legs and shoe detail.]

The princess, who studies Equestrian Science at Hartpury College, is pictured above bare-legged and in elegant open-toed designer shoes, clearly anticipating a most un-English sun. In spite of yesterday's blustery weather, it seems the princess deemed pantyhose superfluous to the occasion, presumably anticipating shelter in the royal carriage. This has lead to speculation by the masses as to what else the princess might have deigned to go without, though, obviously, we can confirm nothing.

We do wonder though, what will be next to go. Shoes? Hat? Top? Clearly the old, some say stuffy, ways of the monarchy are dying and it won't be long until the royals have, as the saying goes, no clothes on.

* * *

_From the desk of Irene Howard, Twitter: IreneH_SLBeacon  
__The Shoreline Beacon  
__XX October 2012_

**Antics of future the Royal Inlaws?**

Island life has felt a little flat after the excitement of Prince Ken's visit. One unexpected outcome was the trading of memories of the Blythe family. As people gathered in towns and villages in the hope of catching a glimpse of HRH, they chatted to each other. "Do you think he will stop here", became "Can you believe he's dating little Rilla Blythe?, became "Do you remember when…" stories.

The Shoreline Beacon has collated some of these stories of the Blythe's summers on the Island for you to enjoy. While no one wanted to go on record as saying these, they were all told to us by Islanders (and if you can't trust an islander, who can you trust?).

\- Jem Blythe has settled down now he's grown up, but remember the year he got his driver's licence and insisted on driving round roundabouts several times _the wrong way?_ I'm surprised he didn't cause an accident

\- Then there was that time Rilla Blythe refused to place a bet on the cake stall at the village fete in case she won a cake. It offended the Ladies Aid, who consider it quite the snub!

\- Was it the Blythe boys that were involved in those drag races down the White Sands road?

\- Remember the bonfire down in Glen St Mary? Di Blythe was determined to create a huge blaze with the stack of driftwood (or was it Nan?), but built it too close to the McAlister Hay barn. It all went up, bonfire, barn and the hay Robbie McAlister had stacked there to feed his stock over winter.

\- Rilla Blythe was part of the group that celebrated our daughters sixteenth birthday a month early the weekend we were away. The vodka bottles we found afterwards! I'll never forget it, there's still a mark from the bleach on my good living room rug where they tried to clean up after one of the girls vomited everywhere. I'm not saying it was Rilla Blythe, but she was there, and always did like a party.

\- Shirley Blythe totally flattened my letterbox. Driving too fast down the dirt road out of Montague, missed judged the corner and ended up ploughing over our letter box, and my June Lilies.

\- Remember how roly poly Rilla Blythe was in her youth. She was always interested in fashion and squeezed herself into hotpants. She's thin enough now but back then…. It wasn't pretty.

\- Joy was a bit of a danger in her day too, I was there when the police brought her home for climbing out of the car window – while it was moving – to 'surf' on the roof. I'll never forget her father's face. We didn't see much of her for the rest of that summer.

\- Remember that girl, I'm sure it was one of the Blythes, disqualified from danceathon at the local church for inappropriate dancing. It was quite the sight!

\- Was it true Anne Blythe modelled for that sculpture Dora Blythe did of the naked goddess?

\- When I think of Rilla Blythe I think of that enormous green hat she wore in summer to protect her skin from the sun. Always seems a bit much for the Island, but I bet it would be right at home at Ascot!

\- I heard the Doctor was quite the scallywag in his youth too, his parents were besides himself when he and his step brother were 5 hours late coming back after going out sailing. Seems they'd run aground on a sandbar, but everyone feared they'd been washed out to sea.

\- That dance down at the old lighthouse, Rilla Blythe was 'missing' for several hours, turned out she'd been on the sand dune with Carl Meredith. I'm not saying they did anything improper – but they were gone for several hours, and her not even 17 yet.

\- Rilla Blythe was always a terrible flirt. Broke my boy's heart, let's hope she doesn't break the Prince's.

\- Walter Blythe was quite the bully, broke my Dan's nose, fighting over some girl or other

_Do you have your own memory of the Blythe's summers on PEI? Share them on twitter #BlytheSummer_

* * *

_A Vision in Style Blog  
__Xxx October 2012_

**London (Student) Fashion Week**

I'm back! Fighting jetlag, but I just had to share this photo with you. Still can't believe I was chosen as one of 5 students from NY to attend London Student Fashion week. This is a new initiative to showcase student fashion in the run up to the real London Fashion Week and it was sooooooo exciting. We got to design and create our own fashion and showcase it on the London runway. Best part was I got to take a photo of this year's models, with the Mayor of London, all wearing one of my designs! Doesn't the blue shoe off his trademark blonde floppy hair?(photo of the Mayor of London surrounded by models wearing a #teamrilla tshirt.)

While I was here I did some exploration of Rilla's fashion since she's moved to the UK (various photos of Rilla from the newspapers). You can really see her New York influence in her style mixing with the British more conservative fashion! New York fashion is more experimental than conservative London, you can see influences in colour and fabric in Rilla's dress that you just don't see in her class mates (photo of Rilla in Oxford wearing bright colours, and silky fabrics next to a photo of Oxford students all in dark, drab wool). One big change I've noticed is flat boots – and no wonder, those British cobble streets are murder on heels.

More next week, until then, Toodle pip!

* * *

_Dr. Barbara Lang, Twitter: DrBLang_Vet  
__Magnificent Mog_  
_XX, October, 2012_

**Planes, Trains and Automobiles: Cat Travel 101**

Following a recent uptick in letters to the editor querying the safe travel of cats, we thought the time had come to do a piece answering your question. This month we and Madamme Mewsetta, journalist cat at large, bring you everything you need to know about travelling with your cat.

**Do your paperwork**

Probably the most complicated thing about travelling with your furry friend is the paperwork involved. The first thing you want to do, then, is make sure your cat's vaccine records are up-to-date. This will include any yearly vaccinations and an obligatory rabies jab. Of course, if you're travelling from one rabies-free country to another (say Canada to Britain, for sake of argument) your work is considerably easier. But you'll need that rabies-free certificate to show customs, all the same.

And the second thing? You'll need a passport for your feline friend. But not to worry, just make an appointment and warn us ahead that you'll need a passport drawn up. That part's easy!

**But that's not all!**

If your moggie is travelling cargo, your work still isn't done, because on top of the vaccine work and the pet passport, you also need a Safe to Travel slip. This tells the airport that the combination of weather, cargo temperature, and sundry other factors have been signed off by a vet as creating a humane environment for any animal from Simpkin to the Big, Bad Wolf. This is especially important if you and Mog are embarking on a winter getaway to somewhere sunny. (In which case Madamme Mewsetta approves but wodners why you don't bring the sun to your pet. You can absolutely do that, can't you?) The catch? We can't sign off on the Safe to Travel documentation until 48-24 hours before you leave.

**Choose your carrier**

No, we don't mean airlines. It's true, not all of them can and do accommodate pets (, but we're talking about what Madamme Mewsetta calls the Portable Cable Car of Doom. (When in doubt, Madamme Mewsetta affixes 'of Doom' to the end of most things.) If you're taking your cat any great, or indeed, not so great, distance, it's important s/he be as familiar as possible with their carrier. For aeroplane rides, we favour a soft-sided carrier for maximum comfort and ease of storage.

Soft or stiff, though, there are still requirements your pet carrier must meet. It must be big enough for your wee one to stand up in and turn around in comfortably. And remember, loop those plastic tags around door openings for maximum security.

**Important!**

Be sure to familiarise Mog with her carrier before you go. It would be a shame for you both if you missed that flight all because someone got her back up about the Portable Cable Car (of Doom). Pheromone treatments like TravelSafe can be extremely helpful in this instance, but remember; you have to start treating the carrier at least two weeks before departure.

**Six dinner Sid?**

This one sounds counterintuitive, but we strongly encourage fasting your pet the day of the flight. Even Madamme Mewsetta, who loves her patte, agrees. Fasting helps decrease nausea, after all. Not only that, but Madamme Mewsetta is stuck that carrier with everything that ends up in there, and by the end of the flight that may not be limited to Blue Mousey and her favourite blankey. But fear not; you can – and are encouraged – to clip your favourite portable water dish onto the inside of the carrier to keep Simpkins hydrated.

**Final considerations**

Finally, just like you, your pet will have to go through security. But since no one wants them going through the electric scanner with your luggage, you'll have to walk them through the scanner with you. Be sure to have a harness on hand – but remember to take it off before flying.

Safe travels!


	21. Living Like Royalty

_The Daily Mail,  
XX October, 2012_

**Royal Squeeze Squeezed into Shoebox**

Last week we brought you the inside scoop on Oxford's very own royalty. This week we leap across the pond to speak with the new tenant of Cinderilla's former flat.

[Pictured left; photo of Rilla's New York flat. Right: Reprint of the Lounge/living area in Jerricho, Oxford.]

Spot the difference? One of these is not like the other, folks! It turns out the Prince wasn't bank-rolling his Barbie over in America, or if he was, she (and he!) kept awfully quiet about it. The accommodation features a kitchenette current tenant, Miss Madison describes as 'More of a closet, really.'

Then there's a lounge-turned bedroom, what an older generation here in Britain would call a bedsit. A former neighbour to Cinderilla went on record claiming that the Prince's squeeze had to double up the sitting-sleeping arrangement. 'You could tell the difference,' says Everett chattily, 'because of this quilt she'd throw overtop of it. I think it was her grandmother's.'

With so little space, it's hard not to wonder what Ken and his Barbie got up to in New York. After all, they rarely appeared in public. With limited space in Cinderilla's love-nest, we can only speculate, but it seems things would necessarily get intimate pretty quickly.

And while Rilla Blythe may have a documented love of shoes, it seems a bit much to expect her royal plus one to squeeze into a shoebox with her!

Meanwhile, Miss Madison commiserates, and says of her one-room flat, 'It's barely big enough to swing a cat!'

True words, indeed, but don't tell the Mitzi's moggie!

* * *

_The Tattler_

_XX October, 2012_

**Living like royalty**

Recently the nation peeked inside the Royal Residence at Oxford, showing just what state the Prince and his Cinderilla were living in. This week we bring you an in-depth comparison of the royal environs spanning counties, and even countries!

**Cinderilla, with love and splendour**

Over in Oxford, we have, of course, Prince Ken living the high life with his rough colonial cannuk. The house features more bedrooms than even a royal couple could ever need, more gadgets than James Bond, and a bonus canal-side view for romantic _rendez-vous_.

[Pictured: spread reprinting interior photographs of Ken and Rilla's Jerricho home.]

Extravagant, you say? We don't disagree. So much for the days of poor student scrounging! And the prince's sister, Princess Persis may well agree.

**When wishes are horses**

[Pictured: Hartpury House, Hartpury College, exterior shot.]

The princess, who studies equestrian science at Hartpury college, has elected to stay in student accommodation in the interest of sticking close to her horses. She is currently in residence at Hartpury house, in the heart of the campus. While it has an elegant sufficiency of en-suite bathrooms, Ken and his Barbie might well be shocked to discover that her highness must suffer such indignities as shared common rooms and communal microwaves! Oh, the horror!

Luckily, though, it's a Grade II listed building – a historic manor, no less! Well, it just wouldn't do to stick King Owen's only daughter in anything less, would it? Horses or no horses!

**Crème de la crème **

Elsewhere, Prince Theodore, colloquially Teddy, has apparently eschewed king and country for Edinburgh University. There, he has set up in Chancellor House, where we have every confidence he, like great Edinburghian Jean Brodie before him, he crushes the opinions of others under the chariot wheels of his superiority. After all, why else pick a bright, light, modern building out of all that oldy-worldy history? But then, quite frankly, this is what we have come to expect from the boy whose architectural temperament couldn't even give the British Museum the time of day.

Chancellor Hall sits at the foot of Arthur's Seat, setting the young prince up nicely should he ever take a fancy for such mundanities as hiking or even tourism. As others have said, for those who like that sort of thing, it's the sort of thing they like.

Of course, it's a fair walk into the centre of town, but then, when you're royal, we suspect that matters less. More people to bring things to you, after all.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp_

_Royal Correspndent, Daily Mail (Online Editions)_

_XX October 2012_

**Oxbridge for Sale**

Recent government changes to higher education funding are creating a generation crippled by educational debt before they even start their careers. Protests at Westminster, designed to maintain pressure on the government to reverse their university fees policy, have taken the focus off a much bigger scandal in Britain's higher education: Oxbridge places for rich students who don't pass the entrance requirements.

Since inception, Oxbridge has been funded by fees from the wealthy. In modern times it seems little has changed. Rich underachievers are still able to attend when they don't meet the entrance requirements that enable poorer students need for the chance for an Oxbridge experience.

Modern education policy does not enable places to be purchased, but it is clear that those who do not academically deserve are still finding ways in.

Would-be-princess Rilla Blythe stands out a recent example. The Daily Mail has seen copies of her transcripts from New York University which clearly shows she doesn't make the academic grade usually required for entrance. In addition, we know that she wasn't in Britain before starting her studies, so could not have attended the required entrance in person interview.

One can only wonder at the pressure that was applied before she was offered a place, and by whom. It shows that those with influence can still bypass the processes everyone else has to follow.

More concerning is how this Canadian wanna-be is influencing those in power. Two years ago nothing was known of her. Today she is attending one of the world's most prestigious universities, and living with the heir to the British throne. She offers neither outstanding beauty nor academic brilliance. Recent articles regarding her former pet demonstrate her lack of human decency. She is proving to be more than a passing Royal fad. With Prince Kenneth obviously having applied undue influence to ensure her place at Oxford, we have to question: what will it take to break his infatuation?

* * *

_Women's Refuge, New York_

_Online Testimonials_

_October 2012_

Women's Refuge support women from all walks of life who've experience domestic abuse with emotional and practical support. Toni*, a New York waitress tells how Women's Refuge has helped her (* Toni's name has been changed to protect her privacy)

The Women's Refuge has transformed my life.

My husband was in a lot of debt. He didn't have a regular income, and I was working long hours just to meet the minimum due payments. Often he asked me to do things, things I'm not proud of, to earn extra money. If I refused, he'd beat me. It was only when I hurt a friend by agreeing to sell stories about her to the press that I realised how low he'd brought me. He didn't even use the money to take me on the promised holiday.

I felt trapped. I was working night and day to pay the debt, and I had betrayed a friend. Amazingly, it was her sister, who had also indirectly been hurt by my behaviour, showed me another way. She introduced me to Woman's Refuge.

They gave me a place to stay, a place that was warm and clean and away from him. No longer scared I was able to sleep for the first time in years. A lawyer – the sister who had introduced me to the Womens' Refuge gave me free legal advice. My ex had convinced me I had to pay his debts, she showed me that legally it was his responsibility. Financially I was free. Emotionally I still felt trapped but the Woman's Refuge gave me free counselling that has helped me to begin to understand why I was attracted to, and stayed with a man who mistreated me. Counselling has given me the strength to take control of my own life.

Without the Woman's Refuge, without my friend's sister, I would still be at the mercy of his fists. I was lucky. One bad decision led me to selfless people who have supported me in my turnaround. I regret the pain I caused my friend and her family. I hope one day she can forgive me. I am however grateful for the opportunity it has given me. If I'd stayed with my husband I'm most likely be dead by now.

_Author Note: Obviously the story on the Women's Refuge has been made up to give you all an update on Tracey and the charity work Joy is doing. Tracey's story, however, is far too often true. Here in the UK the Office for National Statistics (2016) Focus on Violent Crime and Sexual Offences shows that one woman in four experiences domestic violence in her lifetime. Two women are killed each week by a current for former partner in England and Wales. You'll find similar statistics in every country. The good news is that you'll also find amazing charities wherever you are that support women who have experienced domestic abuse be that violence, financial, emotional or sexual abuse. If have your own domestic abuse story I hope that you find the courage to get in touch with charities in your area to support you in finding your way to a life free from abuse. You are not alone. You are stronger than you think. _


	22. Reader, she'll marry him!

_A/N: While Rillla attends private parties in our inspiration (Kslchen's wonderful By a Simple Twist of Fate), the press continues to dig up old stories and make up new ones. Thanks Kslchen for letting us play in your universe Alinya and McFishie _

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
__The Daily Mail  
XX, October, 2012_

**Reader, she'll marry him**

All the best love stories have a will-they-won't they aspect. Romeo and Juliet, Beatrice and Benedick, Heathcliff and Catherine out on those wild moors. For our money, the Prince and Lady Thomasina Wentworth-Watson, popularly Toppy, are no different.

Unsure who the principle players in this loves tory for the ages are? Fear not! We're here to bring you the scoop on the former (and surely upcoming) royal couple.

**The course of true love **

They met while the prince was undergoing jet training. As readers can imagine, with Lady Toppy in London and the prince up north at an RAF station, this led to all kinds of _Brief Encounter -_style rendez-vous. Add to this Lady Toppy's many accomplishments in music, dance, literature and languages, and you have the perfect cocktail for a royal romance. Little wonder then, that the prince took every opportunity to rush to his lady-love.

Notably, though, the regal Lady Thomasina Wentworth-Watson, has done very little rushing. Some say this shows a lack of interest on her part, but we know better. On the contrary, it demonstrates that in affairs of love it is much better to wait and bide one's time than rush in too eagerly, lest the pursued party lose interest. Certainly she hasn't done anything so rash as chase his Highness across countries.

**Nothing lasts, really**

We give it approximately a month or two of living together before Cinderilla does something to set the cat among the royal pigeons, at which point, the gracious Lady Toppy will need only crook her little finger and he'll come running. After all, like recognises like, and Ken's Barbie, whatever else she may be, is a fish out of provincial water when all's said and done. And unlike the royal Mitzi, this love story can weather the test of time!

* * *

**From the Archives**

_Scarlett Cadwell: In her own words  
__As told to Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspondent, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun  
__The Sun  
__XX November 2005_

**Prince of Passion**

I met Prince Ken outside _Cipher_ the new nightclub where the old Theatre used to be. I'd been dancing all night and needed some air, so popped out for a quick ciggy. There I was in my strappy heels and favourite little black clubbing dress when it started snowing; you'll remember we had that unexpected snow storm in November.

_My Prince in Shining Armour_

I was absolutely freezing and the doorman wouldn't believe I'd come from inside and wouldn't believe I'd already paid the cover charge, even if I hadn't it was obvious there was no room in my outfit to hide any cash, I didn't know what I was going to do. I on the verge of tears, I was beyond cold, my friends were inside, when suddenly I look up and see Prince Ken (he's even handsomer in person). He completely rescued me. He gave me his jacket, hailed a cab, and suggested we go somewhere warmer. The driver was really grumpy and wouldn't leave without an address, so without thinking I gave him mine. Just as well too as my dress was wet through from the snow, and I was really shivering. Prince Ken rescued me again. He told me about the dangers of hypothermia, and the best way to warm up was body heat. So there I was cuddled up to the heir to the throne in the back of a taxi.

_First Aid, Royal Style_

The footpath was icy outside my flat, so the prince picked me up fireman style and carried to my front door so I wouldn't slip. Wasn't that considerate? Once inside we realised we were both wet from the snow. My storage heaters were pumping out very little heat, it was freezing. Prince Ken's army training took over. He said I needed a hot shower to warm up. I couldn't leave him shivering while I got warm so I invited him to join me. That's how I found myself naked next to the heir to the throne in a shower at 2am. I wasn't cold any longer. I have to say, Britain has nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to our royal family, he may be the Prince of Wales, but he looked every inch a King….and I mean every inch.

_It may have been cold outside, but inside things hot up_

We were just starting to get warm when the water turned icy cold – no hot water. There was nothing we could do but quickly dry off and jump under the duvet to keep warm. He was so considerate, holding me against him to keep warm, rubbing my arms to make sure they weren't cold, rubbing my legs to keep the circulation flowing, rubbing my… Let's just say he kept me very warm that night. And talk about stamina, he was like the Duracell bunny!

_Next week: _InPart 2 of Prince of Passion, Scarlett tells what the prince found on her nightstand, and how they used it!

* * *

_From the desk of Angus Montcrief, Twitter: AMArchCorresp  
The Evening Times  
__XX, October, 2012_

**Visions and Revisions**

Prince Teddy,was today spotted in Glasgow visiting the SSE Power Arena as part of an ongoing degree in architecture at the University of Edinburgh. The prince reportedly came across for the day to follow up an assignment on comparative architecture styles. While we do not have full details, Glasgow is, needless to say, famous for a wide range of innovative architecture techniques, not least of which is the Arts and Crafts Movement, made famous by MacIntosh.

What his highness thinks of such niceties as The Willow Tearooms, however, remains unknown, while he was overheard praising Lord Foster during a visit to the SSE Hydro Arena. When finished, the building is estimated to have a capacity of 13,000, putting it in a fine position to host many of the nation's future events. Surveying the site, Prince Teddy was overheard to say that the man behind the project, Lord Foster was 'a visionary of the highest order.' High praise indeed, from the man who feels the British Museum a building lacking in architectural merit.

We look forward to the addition of SSE Hydro to the nation's architectural gems. The old Queens' docks have never looked better.

* * *

_Hello Magazine  
__October 2012_

**New York Socialite to attend Plans London Charity Ball **

American socialite and philanthropist Yseult Fairfax is confirmed as attending the annual November charity ball at the London Dorchester Hotel.

"My family has always been part of worthy causes", Yseult said, "We're planning on being in London from early November until New Years and thought what better way to start our season than with helping those in need."

Yseult and her mother are active members of _Daughters of the Revolution (DAR)_, and are known for their glamorous fund-raising. Their attendance is likely to encourage other wealthy Americans to be part of this annual charitable event.

_We were almost sisters_

(Photo of Yseult and Rilla standing next to each other but clearly not touching)

When asked about her relationship with the prince's alleged girlfriend, Rilla Blythe, Yseult responded:

"I'm hoping to catch up with old friends while I'm here, especially her. We were almost sisters, she dated my brother for many years and we were very close. I was devastated when they broke up, but it didn't change our relationship. Of course, I haven't seen her since she moved to the UK, but I sent her an email telling her I'd be at the ball. With any luck we can meet up there, and she can introduce me to London society."

(photo of the Earl of Rochester)

The Earl of Rochester, has also confirmed his attendance at the ball. It will be his first public appearance since his father died and he inherited the title.

* * *

_National Enquirer  
__Classified Advertisements  
__October 2012_

**In a world going out of style…**

Falcon investigations is here for you!**  
**Misplaced a younger sibling? Being hassled by a man named Moose? Maybe you've lost your rare and valuable exotic bird statue and need to find it before the other guy does. Whatever the problem, no case is too hard for Falcon Investigations! We're neither tarnished nor afraid, and we'll turn over every stone, look in every lake, and return the falcon, sibling, fortune as the case may be, to you, satisfaction guaranteed. For further information, contact Everett Noir at xxx-xxx-xx xx Or like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter at Falcon Investigations. And remember; When the streets are dark with something more than night, call Falcon Investigations.


	23. Wedding Announcement

_The Times,  
Announcements  
XX November, 2012_

**A marriage is announced**

It is with pleasure we announce the engagement of the Hon. Stephen Broderick to Miss Fiona Hillhouse. The couple celebrated with an informal gathering Saturday last at the Broderick estate, in Surrey, England. Guests included His Royal Highness, The Prince of Wales, sister Hon. Vera Lloyd and husband Mr. Francis Lloyd, sister Hon. Hilda Broderick, as well as Lady Thomasina Wentworth-Watson, popularly known as Toppy.

The wedding, to which friends and family will be invited, will be a summer wedding and will be held in the parish church of the Broderick seat.

* * *

_Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspondent, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun  
__The Sun  
__Xx November 2012_

**How can you tell a Brit? By the umbrella they carry!**

(photos of Rilla at train station in Surrey, Oxford train station, and walking up Oxford High Street with bedraggled hair, obviously having been caught in a downpour)

Photos emerged on twitter last Sunday of a decidedly damp Rilla Blythe. While we have no idea what she was doing in the English countryside, it is obvious that she was caught in the sudden downpour that turned the sunny morning into a stormy afternoon.

Every Brit knows to check the weather before heading out and, if in doubt, carry an umbrella. Something Miss Blythe seems to have forgotten. Since her arrival in the UK in September to start her studies at Oxford University there has been much speculation in the press as to how she will adapt to British life, and if she is really here 'on approval'.

While there is no talk as yet about the Prince's obvious Canadian obsession turning into something more, one thing is clear: If Rilla Bythe doesn't even have the sense to carry an umbrella on weekend visits to the countryside, if she has any aspirations to become part of our Royal family, she has a lot to learn about being British.

* * *

_Heat Magazine  
__Xx November 2012_

**Soggie Cinderilla Snaffles Sarnie **

In a move that has set social media aflutter, Cinderilla was spotted looking like the proverbial drowned rat following an ill-thought out walk to local train station. She is seen below eating a Whistlestop Café bacon sandwich – with tomato ketchup! Every good Brit would use brown sauce, we feel.

[Pictured; A bedraggled Rilla huddles with sandwich over rail platform bench.]

Disagree? We're running a poll over on Twitter and encourage you to take sides. Are you a red sauce person like Cinderilla, or a classic brown sauce type? And shouldn't Cinderilla know better than to trek miles across the English countryside? Perhaps once you've voted you can send her the Victorian novel of your choosing to help her remember. After all, doctors' wives die young, but it would be a terrible thing if getting wet through should lead to the Royal Mitzi's untimely demise.

* * *

_Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspondent, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun  
__The Sun  
__Xx November 2012_

**The man behind the curtain **

[Pictured: Prince Kenneth opening curtain atu the nveiling of the Cartwright Centre for Disadvantaged Youth]

The Cartwright Centre for Disadvantaged Youths is off to a royal start, literally. As pictured here, His Royal Highness, The Price of Wales took time out of his university schedule to travel to up to Prudhoe for the grand opening, where he drew the official curtain on the new centre.

The Cartwright Centre is a special effort organised by the Prudhoe municipality in an effort to help young people return to and/or finish school. A cause that is, understandably, at the forefront of the prince's mind as he undertakes the completion of his Public Policy degree at Oxford University. It is unconfirmed that there will be royal funding sustaining the project, but anonymous sources do hint at the possibility of input from HRH Princess Mary, The Countess of Eltham.

* * *

_Letter to the Editor  
__The Daily Mail  
__XX November 2012_

Dear Sirs,

I applaud your article summizing that the Prince of Wales will indeed marry Lady Thomasina in good time. While I _detest_ the Canadian interloper who has had the AUDACITY to follow His Royal Highness not only to the UK but to the hallowed halls of Oxford, we have to be understanding that The Prince of Wales is also a man. While Lady Thomasina patiently waits, this Halifax HUSSY will soon realise that she has presumed too far. She is not the one. Her face will soon be tomorrow's fish and chips. Then we can all rejoice when His Royal Highness announces his betrothal to a true Lady, a woman who will produce the heirs to our nation. Please do not play this Halifax hussy's game by giving her press coverage. The sooner she fades into the background the better. More articles like this on the wonderful Lady Thomasina please. I understand she is a keen gardener, perhaps something on how her plans for bulbs for the spring?

Sincerely

(Mrs) H.B Donnell

* * *

_A vision in style blog  
__November 2012_

**Can't decide which shoes to wear; wear them both!**

I had an assignment for my Fashion degree this week; how to pair the unusual together. Most students looked at working with two different style of fabrics. I, however, was inspired by a story about a young Rilla Blythe and paired non-matching shoes with my outfits. And, by golly, it worked!

(pictures of Pip in various outfits, all with odd matching shoes)

What I really noticed was as long as the heel height matched, it felt no different to wearing a matching pair. Secondly, it felt fabulous. I was able to create completely different styles than what is traditionally accepted, and explore my love of colour in an entirely new way. For example, see this little black dress in the photo below. I was able to add a pop of orange with my left shoe, which matched the orange box on my handbag, which matched the orange in my hoop earrings. So next time you're looking to add just a little colour to your outfit, try wearing just one shoe, I promise, you won't regret it! (And would-be journalists who think its okay to criticise someone else's fashion choices while wearing the most boring outfit EVER on TV should think again!)


	24. George's Oxford Entrance

_Thank you to Kslchen for allowing continual play in the wonderful 'verse she created; thank you to Aliyna for being an awesome co-writer on this. I learn so much from her, and am so grateful for her on this; and thank yo to Oz Diva for the idea of the news stand!_

* * *

_From the desk of Richard Evans, Twitter: OxMailREvans_

_Oxford Mail,  
XX November, 2012_

**Cat's got the (royal) cream**

Move over Hamish McHamish; Britain's beloved moggie is in for competition! This in light of recent news that the town of St Andrews is beginning a fundraiser to honour their beloved communal pet with a statue. But St Andrews is no longer the only town to sport a notorious ginger tom, as Cinderilla's feline George made his grand entrance into Oxford this week.

Formerly forgotten by his owner, the cat was plucked off the streets of New York some days ago and transplanted to Jericho, Oxford, where neighbours say he is thriving. 'He came into our garden,' said Mrs Alice Cooper, 63, 'bold as you like…[He] just sat down in a sunny spot and made himself right at home.' Elsewhere, retired lecturer Dr David Malcolm, formerly of Christ Church spotted him as he said, '[…]traversing the canal. Personally, I wouldn't eat anything I caught out of it, but after New York street fare, one presumes the contents are ambrosial.'

_**Cat…among the pigeons?**_

But not everyone was so ready to welcome the royal feline. While Cinderilla is, as per an anonymous source, 'Very happy indeed' to be reunited with her pet, the sentiment is far from universal. A Mrs Fletcher fears for her local bird population, while Mr. N. Noble is far from appreciative of George's habit of 'polishing' his ivy.

Still, opinion remains largely favourable, and it may not be long before Oxford sports an honourary statue to its favourite mog, either. Excellent thought, St Andrews, and don't mind if we borrow it!

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
__Royal Correspondent, Daily Mail (Online Editions)  
__XX November 2012__  
_

**Faux Princess' Prefect Family Crumbles**

Sources close to Rilla Blythe have told the Daily Mail that she feels alone and abandoned since shacking up with His Royal Highness, Prince Kenneth.

The Blythe family, often portrayed as the perfect Canadian family are regularly seen attending church. It is feared that Rilla's wanton decision to live with the Prince _while not married_ has turned her family against her. Our source has revealed that her family, who were originally reported as being close, are not planning on visiting at Christmas, and an invitation to visit them has not been received. Prince Kenneth will attend family Christmas at Balmoral, as is his royal duty, leaving Cinde_rilla_ will be alone, abandoned.

_Family Split?_

Her family may, however, not be as perfect as it seems. The Halifax Courier spotted Rilla's father, the renowned surgeon Dr Gilbert Blythe, dining with a dark-haired woman twice in the last week at The Old Orchard Inn, the luxury hotel and restaurant. On the second occasion Dr Blythe arrived mid-afternoon, and was not seen to leave, although his car was no longer in the car park next morning. The woman is confirmed as having booked a room at the hotel for several nights under the name of 'Blake'.

One wonders if the lack of a Blythe family Christmas is connected to the Doctor's alleged infidelity. Perhaps the Blythe family aren't as perfect as they seemed. No doubt the continued silence from the Palace on Price Kenneth's relationship with Ms Blythe is an indication that they are hoping his infatuation burns out before a connection with such a family is formally made.

* * *

_St George Bugle,_  
_St George New York Public School Publication_  
_Announcements_  
_XX November, 2012_

Congratulations are extended to Jacob Raine for his exemplary performance in Canada's Great Geography Challenge. He placed top of his class with a grade of AAA. As a school champion, he will receive a certificate and medal in the upcoming Prizes Assembly, in addition to a free year's subscription to _National Geographic_. Well done, Jacob!

* * *

_From the desk of Abigail Morse, Twitter: Morse_Code  
__The Isis ,  
__Unpopular Opinions Section  
XX November, 2012_

**Civility to Strangers **

It should go without saying that making the adjustment from school to university is never easy. This week's Unpopular Opinions looks at just how much harder that is when students are asked to juggle student life with the mundane, or in this instance, extraordinary life.

In the wake of this week's jeering press, it seems necessary in the first instance to remind readers that Rilla Blythe, 'Cinde_rilla_' to the wider press, is new to the country. Everything about it is unfamiliar from the irregularity of our train timetables (hands up anyone ever stranded at Reading on an Oxford-related journey leg) to our weather.

All of that is before one takes into consideration the 'flying terms', speeded-up schedules, the sheer demand of the workload, and the Oxbridge specific lexicology. Sub Fusc, anyone? Christ Church Time? High Table, bop, and punts on the river? It would be enough to make anyone's head spin all on its own. But not only must Miss Blythe acclimatise to such oddities, she has the further hassle of an omnipresent press, and a whole other lifestyle to adjust to.

_**The glamorous life **_

We don't just mean the college life, though that's a large part of it. But for our money the much larger social shock lies in the social strata she has landed herself in by association. In a country famous for saying little, we thrive on unspoken social codes and cue, from how to determine the end of a queue to how to navigate past your next door neighbour without talking when you spot them at the local Spar. Imagine learning all that off the boat as it were, and then multiply it by a factor of ten as Rilla Blythe attempts to integrate into a society that has probably never heard of Spar.

Still think it sounds easy? We don't either. Perhaps the most gracious thing we can do, then, is let her get on with her studies, and eat bacon sandwiches on platforms however, and whenever she fancies – especially if stranded at Reading. It's bound to happen more than once; we know it, you know it, a month or two from now and even Rilla will know it. Until then, it probably wouldn't hurt to extend her that famous Oxford hospitality instead of castigating her for every misstep. After all, everyone is new to somewhere sooner or later. The question is whether you choose to stay or not. Let's hope Rilla stays.

* * *

_New Stand Headlines  
__(Headlines on magazines you'd see at a Newstand at Oxford Train Station November 2012__  
_

Prince Ken and Chatty Tatty  
_Prince Ken lunches with Tatty: Is the romance reignited?_

Prince Pipped at the Post?  
_Photo of Tatty chatting with someone at horseracing event, her hand on his arm._

Prince's Rilla is not amused  
_Photo of Rilla pulling a disgusted face_

Prince Ken & Toppy : A Royal Romance  
_Prince Ken is rumoured to dating Toppy once more – Could we have a spring Royal Wedding?_

Royal Romance Ended?  
_Photo of Rilla with puffy face heading to classes_

Prince Plays the Field  
_Photos of Tatty, Toppy and Rilla next to a photo of a pensive looking Ken_

Royal Love Nest  
_Photos of Prince Ken's love nest with Canadian Rilla Blythe_

Royal Puppies  
_Photo of Ken cuddling a puppy at a charity event_

Royal Surprise: Is Rilla Pregnant?  
_Photo of Rilla with hand over her stomach as if to hide pregnancy_

Royal Snub  
_Palace yet to meet Rilla – do they disapprove?_

Mucky Princess  
_Photo of Persis mucking out a stable_

Prince Starves Girlfriend  
_Side by side of Rilla from Christmas and more recently showing she's lost weight_

Royal Red  
_Photo of Prince Teddy standing next to a red headed woman_

Prince Jilted?  
_Photo of Ken attending function alone, looking pensive_

Royal Girlfriend's Glamourous Past  
_Yseult Fairfax opens up about life in London and her friendship with Rilla Blythe_

Rilla's Driving Fiasco  
_Rilla watch spotted the Prince's girlfriend cycling the wrong way around a round about "it caused traffic chaos" a witness reported_

* * *

_Heat Magazine  
__November 2012_

**Cinde_rilla_'s Halloween!**

Check out this year's favourite Halloween costume. From the streets of New York, to UK Charity ball everyone wanted to be Cinde_rilla_!

While we don't know what the Prince's girlfriend wore to Halloween – or even if she celebrated this year – it seems she was the belle of every Halloween ball.

**_Even young child wants to be her._**

(photo of a small child, dressed half in an Ariel costume and half in a Cinderella costume, asleep at a party, head on a pumpkin)

This tired tot's mother said she insisted on being Cinde_rilla_. "I bought home a beautiful Cinderella costume for her but she wasn't happy until we added Ariel's wig from last year's costume and transformed her into Cinde_rilla_."

**_No red wigs to be found_**

(collage of children dressed as Cinde_rilla_)

And it seems she wasn't the only one. We may have had noting official from the palace as to their relationship, but the public have decided, Cinde_rilla_ is everyone's favourite princess. Shops reported early that Cinderella costumes were in demand, but it was only when they sold out of red wigs that it became obvious that THE costume to be seen in this year was Cinde_rilla_. And like our tired tot, those that couldn't buy one made do. (photo of child with tiara with red streamers coming off it to simulate red hair)

**_Wall to wall Cinderilla_**

(photo of Yseult Fairfax dressed as the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland in the centre of a photo of 4 celebrities dressed as Cinde_rilla_'s)

Even London's Halloween Charity Ball got in on the fun. New York socialite, Yesult Fairfax chose to dress as the Queen of Hearts but was outnumbered by Cinde_rilla_'s. It seems everyone wants to be her.

**_Is Cinderilla hiding by the fire at home?_**

But what of the girl herself? She's been in the UK for several months now and is yet to make her make on London's social scene. It seems these two love birds like to keep to themselves, but with everyone wanting to be her, we hope to see her out and about in the upcoming festive season.


	25. George in Wonderland

_Heat Magazine  
__XX November 2012__  
_

_**London's hottest couples**_

_**4\. Prince Ken and Lady Henrietta**_

Rumours of a romance between Prince Kenneth and Lady Henrietta have died down since his Canadian amour, Rilla Blythe moved to the UK. But perhaps there is more to their relationship than they let on?

Last month they were spotted having an intimate lunch at Brown's in London.

(Several blurry photo of them lunching. In the photos we see the two leaning in for a quiet conversation, and another where Tatty has leant back and appears to be throwing her serviette on the table in frustration, another where they are both clearly laughing).

How we wished we had been a fly on the wall for this conversation! Lady Henrietta, who has a reputation for never losing her temper, seems peeved with a visibly upset Prince Ken. After a few quiet words from Lady Henrietta, they share a joke. Could they have been resolving a lovers tiff? Could this favourite British couple be reigniting their romance?

**Finger sandwiches over Canadian bacon?**

(insert photo Rilla eating a bacon sandwich at the station)

Lady Henrietta's family have always been close to the royal family. It is thought that the palace much prefers Lady Henrietta's elegance to the bacon-sarnie-eating Canadian's less formal style.

The public would love to see these two back on track, let's hope the rumours are true and wedding bells are peeling soon!

* * *

_A Vision in Style  
XX November, 2012_

**The weather outside is frightful **

Bring out your boots and parkas; it's beginning to look a lot like winter. Season of slush, cold feet and…ugh. On second thoughts, it's just too demoralising to talk about. I know everyone sings about chestnuts roasting and all that, but mostly it's a lot of brown slush and grey mornings. Let's leave it all behind and hop across the water to see how PK and Rilla are coping with an Oxford winter, instead.

[Picture of Rilla cycling to class in winter coat. In the background we can make out a Debenham's window display.]

**Winter wonderland**

See? Even in winter Oxford looks picturesque! Oh, to be in England, where to be warm can also be stylish! Rilla Blythe doesn't do badly either in her new pea coat. The dark green wool is an excellent complement to her eyes, while a skirt guard stops it interfering with her cycling.

**Drouthy neighbours neighbours meet**

She's paired it with a green tam o'shanter reprised from previous winters. In forest green it perfectly matches the coat and is an exemplary display of home-made moss stitch. I should know; I have a grandmother that devoted years to trying to teach me optimum knitting tension. I can't say she succeeded, but for those who can, follow this link to Ravellry for a pattern that will talk you through how to knit your own Rilla Blythe Tam O'Shanter. It doesn't call it that, obviously, but we know better. It also does an expert job of keeping the wind off a cyclist's ears, and looks adorable to boot. Can't go wrong with a tam!

**Our Emblem Dear **

Isn't the devil always in the details? The forest green hat-coat combo easily be too dark, but Rilla makes it pop by fastening a red maple leaf just left of centre on the tam. Canada – or at least the maple leaf – forever! Tying it all together is a cosy grey scarf, and the cutest gloves (#BringBackGloves) with red lining. What better look for cycling one's way through a winter wonder land?

* * *

_From the desk of Jordon Montgomery, Twitter:  
__Daily Mail,  
XX November, 2012_

**Rumours royal romance ricochet!**

**Henrietta, Rilla, of Toppy: who will Prince Ken choose?**

Following rumours about a possible romance between Prince Ken and Lady Henrietta, we set out to canvas opinions.

Giles Hodgeson-Pembroke,renowned for his Airedale terriers, said on the subject, '[I] hardly think it will last. [Rilla] didn't have much to say when we spoke. Where's the fun in that?'

While the Hon Vera Lloyd went on record saying 'I can see what Ken sees in her, as a casual fling, obviously. But she's not really the kind of person one sticks with in the long run, if you ask me. A bit of fun, no more.'

But opinion was far from unanimous. An intimate friend of the Prince's, who asked to stay anonymous was quoted saying, 'He [Ken] seems much more serious about Rilla than previous romances. The public should get used to her, because I don't see her going anywhere any time soon.'

Who will it be? Cinderilla in her glass slippers, or Lady Henrietta over lunch at Browns? Or indeed, will the Prince surprise us all and smile upon Lady Toppy again after all? It's anyone's guess and we're taking bets.

* * *

_From the desk of Edwin Drood, Twitter: Oscarthecat  
__Blog: George in Wonderland  
XX November, 2012_

_With Rilla Blythe's royal feline arrived in state at Oxford, we've set up a blog to document our fellow cat's adventures in and around the city. How people respond to him, what he makes of his subjects, and all your George-centric news can be found here, at George in Wonderland, all brought to you with aloofness by fellow feline, Oscar the Cat of (limited) internet repute._

**George down the rabbit hole**

Kicking off our documentation of George's adventures is a real corker. It seems His Gingery Highness ran across a hapless rabbit on his prowl of the Jericho canal, and wasted no time in having it for dinner. Well, more specifically, he ate the head. The rest of the rabbit is, presumably, still out there if interested parties wanted to investigate.

Worried about the Magnificent George's rations? Fear not; we spotted him visiting no less than seven homes in the last three days, and at all of them he was helping himself to a saucer of something. Tuna, milk, red salmon…you name it, our beloved monarch had it. Forget Scotland's misanthropic Mog, our George is _Six Dinner Sid_ come to life – and we love him for it. Though we do encourage him to cut back on the rabbit.

_Have thoughts and opinions on Oxford's favourite feline royal? Write your comment in the box below to leave a reply. Or follow us on Twitter at Oscarthecat for regular George updates! Until then, we're off to a very important date. Don't forget to leave your saucers out in support of his Excellency, George the cat!_

* * *

_Letter from Mrs Blake to Horrace Ledbetter, Attorney at Law  
__XXX November 2012_

Dear Horrace,

I trust you are well.

I'm hoping you can help me address the attached article from The Daily Mail that alleging an affair with my dear friend Gilbert. We were, in fact, meeting to plan a surprise trip to London for his wife Anne, who we know would like to visit with their youngest daughter.

I know this isn't your area of expertise, but Daddy has always said I should contact you first if I ever needed a lawyer.

Would you be able to advise who to help me in this matter?

Love to your darling wife and gorgeous daughter,

Phil

_Letter from Horace Ledbetter, Attorney at Law to Phillipa Blake  
__XX November 2012_

Dear Phil,

We are all well, thank you, and hope this finds you and Jonas in good health.

In the first instance, I'd suggest a letter to The Daily Mail, asking they print a retraction. I'm happy to do this on your behalf. If they refuse, then we can discuss the best way to proceed.

Hope to see you at the soon,

Horace

_Letter to the owners of the Daily Mail from Ledbetter and Associates, representing Mrs Philllipa Blake  
__Xx November 2012_

Dear Sirs,

An article in your publication on XX November 2012 alleged that my client Mrs Phillipa Blake is in a relationship with Dr Gilbert Blythe of Halifax, Canada.

There is no basis to this allegation. Mrs Blake was in fact staying in the hotel with her husband, who was attending a conference in the area.

We expect a retraction to be printed as soon as possible. If you fail to do so, we will consider further legal action.

We trust this matter can be resolved promptly

Sincerely,

Horace Ledbetter, Lawyer, on behalf of Mr and Mrs Blake

_Daily Mail  
__Page 34  
__XX November 2012_

**Apology**

An article printed on XX November 2012 incorrectly reported on an affair between Dr Gilbert Blylthe and a Mrs Blake. It has since been confirmed that there is no foundation for this allegation. We apologies for any inconvenience caused.


	26. Psychadelic In-Laws

_Can't believe it's Christmas already, at least in Rilla's world. Thank you , once more, to the wonderful Kslchen for lettting us add to her 'verse., and to Alinya for being so great to partner with. I swear we should do this as our IRL job!_

* * *

_The Atlanta Voice  
__Marshall Walker, Twitter: AtlantaMarshall  
__XX December 2013_

**Drugs on Campus**

Georgia Tech Police have confirmed that a significant quantity of drugs was found in their search of I-House student accommodation last week. Several students are being questioned and tested to gauge the depth of their involvement. Georgia Tech has a firm policy against drug usage on campus. Students who test positive for drugs risk expulsion. Georgia Tech Police have not ruled out not pressing charges, especially if there is evidence of selling as well as using prohibited substances.

* * *

_Letter to the editor,  
Regina Leader-Post,  
XX, December 2012_

**Live and let live**

I was shocked to discover in your article of XX, November that you see nothing unreasonable with Canada's continued tradition of Fox Hunting because 'They are vermin.' That is not the issue. The tradition is barbaric. You are deliberately setting out to terrify, traumatise and murder an unsuspecting animals that probably never gave you so much as a passing thought, and all because it doesn't live in the house with you?

Do you realize how little sense that makes? Or that the dogs you send after them (also traumatisd, also made to do unnatural things) are descended from this supposed vermin? Are you even aware that as of 2004 the UK banned fox hunting? Or that even now the head of the Heytrhop Hunt has had to plead guilty to charges of illegally hunting a fox?

It seems to me that now would be a good time to revive that great Canadian tradition of doing exactly what Britain did first, just slightly after the fact. Ban the hunt! Save ecosystems! And let the foxes live!

Kara, Saskatchewan

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgommery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
__The Daily Mail  
__XX, December 2012__  
_

**Princess's style stumbles as royal standards slip **

[Pictured: detail from Royal Family walk to church. It has been cut to emphasise Persis in tweed and Teddy in a tailored suit.]

There's something not quite right with this picture. No, Prince Theodore (Teddy) looks dapper as usual. And no, it's not the lack of snow on the ground, though we have certainly had a green Christmas this year. Did you guess Princess Persis's fashion sense? Well done you! She's done it again; eschewing high style and the fashionable for positively practical.

This year it's a tweed getup in a colour completely ill-suited to the princess. Whereas she has inherited her mother's pallor and golden looks, the tweed sported above is suffuced with dark reds and browns that make her look washed-out. We reckon we've seen milk with more colour to it than Princess Persis all decked out for church.

Except she's not, is she? That's sort of the point. The jacket sits awkwardly atop a jumper that isn't even festive in colour. And neither of them completely matches her trousers, so that we have to wonder if the person responsible for this attempt at style was, perhaps, colour-blind. As for that hat, in the photo? You know, that rather battered, obviously beloved thing? She's worn it before.

[A spread of pictures of Persis with closeups on her face and hat.]

In fact, she's worn it _often_. We've seen it frequently. No doubt everyone gets attached to parts of their wardrobe, but is this the best our royals can muster? What are our taxes going towards if not keeping the princess in a hat that is shaped like a hat? Or at least in a colour that suits her? Frankly, my dear, we expect better.

* * *

_From the desk of Edwin Drood, Twitter: OscartheCat  
Blog: George in Wonderland,  
XX, December 2012_

**We wish for the Fam'ly Goldfish^**

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, and with any luck so is Oscar! Tis the season for snaffling stray mince pies, liking the marzipan off the Christmas Cake and making oneself of the utmost assistance in the preparation of the turkey. (Or Goose. Oscar prefers goose.)

Regrettably, there's no telling what His Magnificence, King George is in for, now that his human is away on holiday. Happily for George the Magnificat, he appears to have landed on his feet in his choice of temporary humans. They're elderly, charming, and very English, right down to their love of marvellous mogs.

Asked for a quote on the subject, primary Spare Human, Margaret Fancy, said 'We were only too happy to have him! He's such a lovely cat – the door is always open for Georgie.' Suplimentary Spare Human, Douglas Fancy agreed. 'There's always tuna going begging where George is concerned. Or milk, or cream, or last night's scraps…what George wants, he gets.'

We prophecy that His Regalness, George is in for a most satisfying first Christmas in Britain. Here's to many more. But don't let that stop you leaving out your saucers and feline goodies. It's the giving season after all!

_Have thoughts or opinions on our own King George? We welcome your contribution. Just type your comment in the box below and hit submit._

* * *

_Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspndent. Twitter Rosemont_Sun  
The Sun  
__26 December 2012_

**Royal Heartbreak?**

_(Photos of Rilla standing outside her local church on Prince Edward Island in a cute green coat and matching hat, smiling politely for the camera. There is one photo captures her looking at something out of shot (Izzy pulling faces) Next to these are photos of Ken arriving at the church near Balmoral Castle. He is not smiling, his face shows no emotion, and he's standing a little away from Persis and Teddy)_

Christmas is a time for family, and being with those you love. And yet Prince Kenneth spent the season 2,581 miles apart from his girlfriend Rilla Blythe.

Rumours a few months back of frictions between Prince Kenneth and his close friends may be the cause of the split. It is understood that cracks in the relationship started to show when Rilla was thrown into Prince Kenneth's world. Differences in their background made it hard for the girl from Hallifax to fit in.

At the time it was said to have been mis-reported and Prince Kenneth's close friend Lady Henrietta Faversham was reported to have spoken glowingly in support of Miss Blythe and their relationship. Scenes such as these with the couple apart, Miss Blythe laughing happily and Prince Kenneth looking so gloomy are leading to speculation that there may be more to these rumours than first thought. Is Cinderilla's reign as Prince Kenneth's girlfriend over?

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgommery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
__The Daily Mail  
__2 January 2013__  
_

**New Year New Romance?**

_(Photo of Prince Kenneth driving Tatty from Aviemore train station to Balmoral Castle, Scotland, Norfo_lk)

Media speculation over Prince Kenneth's heartbreak may have been grossly exaggerated.

This morning Prince Kenneth was spotted personally collecting Lady Henrietta de Duras together with her parents, the Earl and Countess of Faversham, from Aviemore train station. He then drove them over an hour drive back to Balmoral Castle where the Royal Family have been spending Christmas.

Lady Henrietta and her family are known to be close friends of the Royal Family. To arrive the first day after the family's Christmas seclusion at Balmoral and to be personally collected by the heir to the throne, is being taken by royal watchers as a sign. Could she be there as a precursor to a Royal engagement?

Prince Kenneth has been linked to Canadian Rilla Blythe, sharing student accommodation with her at Oxford. That romance, however, seemed to cool over the autumn. Could it be that as the difference in their backgrounds are driving Prince Kenneth and Rilla Blythe apart, the strong ties of family, friendship and social connections are bringing the Prince and Lady Henrietta closer together?

(photo of Lady Henrietta snuggled in the front passenger seat car, under a blanket, touching Ken's arm as she laughs at something said, her parents can be seen in the back)

Whether or not an engagement is on the cards, the Prince and Lady Henrietta certainly seem to be close. It is unlikely that a girl from Halifax would be able to break this bond and make a close alliance with the Royal Family.

* * *

_The Atlanta Voice  
__Marshall Walker, Twitter: AtlantaMarshall  
__XX January 2013__  
_

**Students Expelled and Charged following Drug Raid**

Thomas Zachery has formerly been expelled from Georgia Tech following a drug raid before the Christmas break. Significant amounts of marijuana were found in his dormitory room, and urine samples tested positive for usage. The case was turned over to Atlanta Police, who charged Thomas Zachery with possession. Zachery was given a one year suspended sentence, and $1,000 fine.

Zachery's dorm mate, Shirley Blythe was also asked to take a urine test, but refused. As there were no drugs in his possession there were no grounds for pursuing this further. Mr Blythe has, however, chosen to leave George Tech of his own volition, leading to speculation of how innocent he is.

* * *

_Horse and Hound  
__Competition RoundUp  
__January 2013__  
_

Her Royal Highness, Princess Persis participated in the Berkshire Horse Tournament on December 19th. She showed two of her younger horses, entering Longshanks in the maiden class and coming a great fourth on Charles I in the novice class. Congratulations HRH!

* * *

_Rochelle Grace, Royal Editor Twitter: RoyalEd_Mirror  
Daily Mirror  
__XX January 2013__  
_

**Weeding out the future Royal In Laws**

Rilla Blythe's return to Oxford, and to the accommodation she shares with his Royal Highness, Prince Kenneth once again have sent the media buzzing with speculation that this one might 'go all the way' and marry the prince.

Previous girlfriends of His Royal Highness have been born and bred in Britain, meaning we know what there is to know about their backgrounds. While we have come to learn more about Rilla Bythe since she started stepping out with the Prince, little is still known of the family she comes from.

**Family Drug Connection**

The Atlanta Voice last week reported of students from Georgia Tech charged with drug procession after a raid by campus police. WE can now confirm that Rilla Blythe's brother*, Shirley, was the room- mate of Thomas Zachery, who was charged with possession of a banned substance. While no drugs were found in Mr Blythe's procession, his refusal to take a voluntary drug urine test and decision to drop out from college altogether a week later have lead to speculation that he may have had a greater connection to this that was first thought.

Students at Georgia Tech have added no clarity. When asked students, who asked not to be named, gave conflicting reports of Mr Blythe

_"Shirl was a dude, man"_ one student said, _" never saw him with a spliff, but he was at all the parties, he must have been doing it, we all were"_

_"Shirley kept to himself, he was quiet and focused on his studies, "_another student was reported to have said "_Tommy, you kind of expected it from, but not Blythe."_

_"Not Temple,"_ said another student, using what was apparently Mr Blythe's nickname _"Temple by name, temple by nature we used to say. He didn't partake in heavy drinking or partying and was more at home in the student gym than the student bar"_

"_He shared a room with Tommy,"_ yet another student said _"there stuff was all over the place, it was hard to tell who's was who's. Wouldn't surprise me if they were his drugs on Tommy's side of the room. I mean, they may not have been, but he skipped town quickly after, maybe he was involved."_

With conflicting reports, such as these, the character of Mr Blythe, and by association his sister, must be called into question. Her background will have a strong influence on how likely her alleged aspirations to a royal life will be. And rest assured, they will look at more than just her brother.

**Psychedelic Parents**

_(Photo of Anne and Gilbert from the Strawberry Fields Festival, Ontario Canada, August 1970 Anne and Gilbert are in the forefront, holding hands, looking into each other's eyes, Gilbert tucking a flower behind Anne's ear, in the background are people sitting on the ground, smoking what could be a joint)_

Rilla Blythe's parents, neurosurgeon Dr Gilbert Blythe and author Anne Shirley-Blythe are respected members of Halifax's intellectual elite. Our investigations, however, have shown that in their youth they were part of the 1970s festival and protest movement where drug usage was rife. While there is no evidence that they still enjoy an affiliation with those who are active drug users, or are users themselves, this new association of their son's does call into question their attitude towards illegal substances.

As private citizens, as long as they stick within the law, what the Blythe's choose to do is their business. As potential in-laws to our future King, Prince Kenneth and by association his parents, King Owen and Queen Leslie as well as the future king, we do, however, need to be assured of the values and morals of this family. Are they aligned with what we'd hope for our future Queen?

As Prince Kenneth's relationship with Rilla Blythe continues, questions need to be asked about Miss Blythe's morals and those of her family. The Daily Mirror will continue investigating.

_*Previous editions incorrectly listed Shirley as Rilla Blythe's sister_

_^With apologies to Christmas Carols for Cats, whence we nicked the headline of Edwin Drood's blog. _


	27. Engagement Announced

_All Nova Scotia  
__Family Announcements__  
January 2013__  
_

**Engagement Notices**

It is with delight and excitement that the families of Anne (Nan) Blythe and Gerald (Jerry) Meredith announce their engagement. Friends since childhood, Nan and Jerry began their friendship on Prince Edward Island, where Jerry grew up and Nan's family have a summer home. At college, their friendship blossomed into romance. The wedding will be held in late summer 2013 in Halifax.

* * *

_From the desk of Irene Howard, Twitter: IreneH_SLBeacon  
The Shoreline Beacon_

_January, 2013_

**Glen Notes **

The Reverend and current Mrs Meredith have this week announced the marriage of Gerald Meredith (locally Jerry) to Anne Blythe of Kingsport. This citified match was made in the lofty heights of the University of McGill. Apt since, asked for an opinion on the bride, local Olive Kirk remembers Miss Blythe as 'Proud enough to want not to be thought proud.' While elsewhere, Dovie Johnson said of her, 'She had the most peculiar habit of walking around with her nose in the air. Personally, I never thought she was a real Blythe, just one the family adopted. Probably by accident.'

Adopted or not, the Meredith family are reportedly 'very pleased to welcome Nan into the family.' Possibly because the families are now so inextricably linked through their children that a tourist would be forgiven failing to tell where one family lets off and the other starts. Not for nothing have relatives been heard to say (unofficially) that they are practically family already. In light of which, we have to wonder if nature has found a way to speed up what otherwise could have been a leisurely engagement. Either way, we wish them the best of luck in their shared future together.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnM_RoyalCorresp  
Daily Mail,  
XX January, 2013_

**Mitzi's Mystery Man**

[Pictured; Rilla and Dev as seen from the back crossing Oriel college quad.]

Has Prince Charming lost his charm? Was Cinderilla's appetite simply too big to be sated? Is the fairy-tale over? No one can say. But this week the Royal Mitzi was spotted being escorted across the quad by a gentleman friend (pictured above). While we are unable to speculate as to the name, or even relationship between this gentleman caller and Cinderilla, they do look awfully chummy.

It is unclear how long this Colonial Canadian and her Gentleman Caller have been in cahoots, though certainly no fairytale we've ever heard of required the young lady to have a fancy man. Could it possibly be that time in the Prince's much vaunted social circle has served as a wake-up call and brought our Mitzi crashing back to earth?

**How the other half lives? **

As speculation continues to mount about the prince's involvement with Ladies Tatty and Toppy, one would be forgiven for supposing this was simply how the upper crust live. One has to make a marriage work, and all that. Could Cinderilla have been seized by a compulsion to compete with her partner's sexual tastes and appetite?

It seems unlikely, as no similar scandals were exposed during her time in New York. Either the Mitzi's morals are slipping, or her taste is. After all, it wasn't that long ago nothing but a royal arm would do for this ersatz Barbie. Luckily for Cinderilla, there are plenty of offers on the table, it seems. And they say romance is dead!

* * *

_The Sun  
__Page 3  
__February 2013__  
_

**Princess Phwoar**

(Page 3 topless photo of a girl wearing a tiara, at first glance the photo looks like Rilla, but closer inspection shows it's just someone who looks very much like her)

What better way to beat the winter blues than a bit of quasi royal titillation. Ruby's modelling career has taken off since people have noticed how much she looks like Rilla Blythe, Prince Kenneth's girlfriend.

(Insert photo of Rilla and Ruby's face side by side)

Rilla and Ruby's faces are so similar they could be twins. We wonder if they look alike all over? If Rilla looks anything like Ruby from the face down, we can see just how she caught the Prince's eye! In addition to modelling Ruby works as a strip-o-gram, where she can call on you dressed as the would be princess and inspect your crown jewels!

* * *

_A Vision in Style  
__March 2013__  
_

**Wedding Style**

It's almost spring and what better way to beat the winter blues than planning a Spring wedding! In case you missed the announcement, Rilla Blythe's sister is getting married in June (congratulations Nan Blythe!). While every bride loves to plan a wedding every bridesmaid hopes that they aren't asked to wear something awful. We don't know if Rilla will be bridesmaid yet, but I thought it might be fun to look a the latest fashion for bridesmaids.

**Never wear white**_(photo of white bridesmaid dresses edged in red)_

They say you shouldn't wear white to a wedding, so as not to upstage the bride, but with a bit of clever accessorising it can be done. These dresses have been edged in red, around the collar and hem, enough of a difference so that the bride still stands out. And with her skin, Rilla looks amazing in white (photo of Rilla in a white dress from last summer)

**Pretty in Pink **(photo of dark pink bridesmaid's dresses)

Pink is always a great choice for bridesmaids, the colour of love and the freshness of summer. Pink isn't a colour Rilla can usually wear, but this shade here is dark enough to complement her hair and set off the pink rosiness of her cheeks.

**Springtime blues **(photo of Rilla as bridesmaid at Betty's wedding last year)

Rilla is no novice as a bridesmaid. Who can forget how last year she looked amazing in blue at her friend's Betty's wedding.

**Spring Breeze **(photo of flowery multi-coloured dresses)

And who said you had to have solid colours for bridesmaid dresses? These spring floral numbers would look beautiful in any wedding party.

**Never a bride? **(photo of bridal flowers at a church door)

Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride as the old saying goes, so we'll have to hope that if Rilla is asked to be her sister's bridesmaid, it will be her last time. We wouldn't want to risk jinxing that wedding we're all hoping will take place sometime in the future. We can't wait for the day when the church doors open to see Rilla walking down the aisle to her prince!

* * *

_From the desk of Edwin Drood, Twitter: OscartheCat  
Blog: George in Wonderland  
XX March, 2013_

**Feline Frightens Feathered Fiends!**

This week his supreme excellence, George, has set the literal cat among the very-much-alive pigeons by, reputedly 'terrorising' Jericho's pigeon population. This news brought to you by one Abelard Stokes, self-proclaimed president of the Jericho Pigeon Fanciers' Club.

If you, like us (and George!) are wondering what Jericho is doing with its own pigeon-fancying club, you're not alone. And if you're wondering what said society does, you're not alone either. As per the mandate submitted to us by Mr Stokes, the club exists to defend and protect the well-being of pigeons. Because…well, there's something for everyone out there, right? For our money, they're rats with wings and we applaud any and all effort undertaken by George the Magnificent to scour them from the Oxford countryside. We're also pretty sure leaving baited animals out there to throw him off the scent is now illegal. It's definitely strongly discouraged by us. If you're really that bothered, we suggest taking down your bird feeder and hunting down one of those sonic cat-deterring gizmos at the local hardware store. It's safer, and, you know, ensures no animals get injured in protection of people's personal pet causes. (George is still right, though. George is always right.)

* * *

_Author Note: Let's all agree here and now that the concept having a topless 'page 3' girl in a newspaper was never a good idea and never acceptable. And yet, for 44 years the Sun Newspaper (and others) in the UK did just that. On Jan 20, 2015 a sister paper announced the Sun would no longer have page 3 girls, then the next day they did publish one, just to prove they still could. I have a list of so many things I love about living in the UK. Attitudes that support such behaviour as page 3 girls being ok until only 4 years ago is not one of them._


	28. Royal Tampon

_It seems the media are kind where you least expect it, but not always. Thank you, as always to Kslchen for letting us add our journalistic view to her universe, and to Alinya for being a fantastic co-author. And a special thanks this week to OzDiva our guest journalist._

* * *

_From the desk of Abigail Morse, Twitter: Morse_Code_

_The Isis,  
January XX 2013_

**Prince Sets Royal Standard High**

[Pictured: Blurry photograph of Ken at Sainsbury's checkout with box of Tampax]

Setting romantic standards high this week is Prince Ken, spotted the other evening at a Sainsbury's local, stocking up on desert essential chocolate sauce, but also a box of Tampax. As grand gestures go, this may seem underwhelming, but it's certainly a more accessible gesture than, say, saving sisters from ill-advised elopements or reopening graves on the Yorkshire moors.

Never mind the exorbitant price of most hygiene products, the cold weather that comes with winter weather exacerbates menstrual symptoms; the Prince's casual purchase of Tampax, we presume for Cinderilla, demonstrates unexpected awareness of this fact. It's the kind of consideration that should be second-nature to us by now, but regrettably isn't. Reader, forget the Romantics; Rochester and Heathcliff had it all wrong anyway. We reckon Prince Ken sets a much healthier example of how to treat a partner – royal or not!

* * *

_^^Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspndent, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun  
__The Sun  
__February XX, 2013__  
_

**Suitable Consort for Our Ken?**

Families are complicated and Prince Ken's Cinderilla's family is no different. Rilla, for example, has no less than three grandmothers. Yes, that's right folks and the back story is quite a tragic one. Her grandfather John Blythe's first wife Millicent died in childbirth. A few years later John remarried his childhood sweetheart, Marilla Cuthbert and between them they had twins; actor Davy Keith and his adventurous sister Dora, a long-haul commercial airline pilot.

Rilla's maternal grandmother, Bertha is also no shrinking violet; even at her age she spends her time testing and writing about overseas trips for the elderly, conveniently forgetting that she may lie in that demographic herself. In her younger years she enjoyed a career as a political journalist and teacher. Bertha has been a widow for a long time, as her husband Walter died of cancer when Dr Anne Blythe was young. It has been noted that she is no fan of royalty, yet we hope she will stand by her granddaughter as she embarks upon her quest for love.

Rilla's namesake, her grandmother Marilla, is yet another strong character, a monarchist, this time. She worked as a secretary until marriage and energetic twins ended her career. Christmas must be a riot for this family.

Rilla's parents are English professor and author Dr Anne Blythe and renowned neurosurgeon Dr Gilbert Blythe. As you may recall, Rilla is one of seven children. We have had occasion recently to remark upon the shady doings of her younger brother, the unusually named Shirley. She also has two other older brothers, namely James and Walter and three older sisters, twins Anne and Diana and Joyce the oldest one of the brood, famous now for her flaunting of immigration law. Joyce has two children whose names we have been asked to keep private.

Rilla's family are close with another family, the Merediths. So much so that numerous members of each family have formed close relationships. James and Faith Meredith are dating, while Anne Blythe and Gerald Meredith's nuptials are looming. Even our Cinderrilla had a dalliance with their younger brother Thomas Carlyle for a time. We've heard of siblings-in-law, but it seldom runs to three members each.

One wonders if this sprawling colonial family will ever meet their Royals and if they do what they will have to converse about?

* * *

_Letter to Prince Kenneth and Rilla Blythe  
__Paul Mattocks, Neighbour  
__Handdelivered to HRH Prince Kenneth's Police Protection Officers in the early hours of the morning  
__The letter is written in a very uneven hand__  
_

_February, 2013_

Dear HRH and the Mrs,

I've just finished skyping with my mum back home in Adelaide, who said if I was that upset I should write to you. So I am. (She also said something about protocol to address you as HRH, but I don't know to address your bird, so I'm using what I call mine, hope it's okay).

I'm squatting at Si's while he's away for a few days. He is studying – something – at Oxford, I hear you go there too – do you know my brother? Tall baldy bloke, plays rugby on weekends. Anyhoos he told me to take his car and grab some tucker from the Tesco up the road. But he didn't tell me about all your **** security cars double parked in this **** narrow British roads. Couldn't get out and was left to survive on what he had indoors – half a loaf of bread, a crate of beer, a bottle of Bundy I'd brought him when I landed and a couple of packets of chips.

Mate, I get that you can live where you want, and that you have to protect yourself against any mad **** nutters, but it's been a total mare. Can you get your coppers to park around the corner and not block the **** street.

Cheers cobber,

Paul

PS Mum's visiting Si at Easter, she said not to ask but she'd be stoked if you'd pop in to say hello. It's the neighbourly thing to do, right?

* * *

_Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspndent, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun  
__The Sun__February XX, 2013__  
_

**Mitzi's Shopping Spree!**

(Photo of Rilla looking at shop window display with Tatty and Katie, her arms loaded with shopping bags.)

It seems Rilla Blythe has an eye for a bargain. Last week she was spotted sale shopping in London with HRH Princess Katherine of Hereford, and Lady Henrietta de Duras.

Even with marked down prices, based on the number of bags she was carrying we have to wonder how her student budget can stretch to such a spree. Perhaps her father, a prominent Canadian surgeon is happy to pay off her credit cards, or perhaps she had other help.

**Tea with Friends**

Shortly after, the trio were seen at The Dorchester in Park Lane, sipping champagne and enjoying afternoon tea. At £75 per head, there are cheaper places to grab a post shopping snack. Could Rilla's afternoon spree have been funded by her titled friends? Perhaps Lady Henrietta is keen to keep her rival on side. Whatever the reason it seems Rilla is gaining friends in high places!

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
__The Daily Mail__  
_

_January XX, 2013_

**Raggedy-Rilla receives royals**

At long last the royal family has finally deigned to acknowledge Cinderilla, but only tangentially. Princess Persis and brother, Prince Teddy were spotted the other evening arriving at the Jericho flat, Oxford, where their brother, HRH Prince Ken and his Mitzi are in residence.

Asked for an opinion, sources declined to comment on the delayed nature of the meeting, though an anonymous source went so far as to say the princess was looking forward to the occasion. Surprising, given her highness's obvious preference for equine company. Having graciously conceded to meet the Mitzi, though, the real question becomes just how did Cinderilla feel about meeting the (royal) family?

**First Impressions?**

We've heard of fleeing the ball as the clock strikes midnight, but what about a Cinderilla that skips the fairy godmother and goes direct to the ball in rags? So it seems to have transpired the other night, when Ken's Colonial Barbie welcomed Princess Persis and Prince Teddy to her home away from home.

[Pictured; very grainy, out-of-focus, long-lens shot of Rilla greeting Teddy and Persis. Because it is January, and because it is evening, the photo is quite dark.]

If pictures are worth a thousand words, then Ken's Barbie is at best underwhelmed. Above she sports a shocking lack of make-up and a striking resemblance to a drowned rat (with apologies to the rat). No one expects Ken's Mitzi to apply make-up with a trowl, but a little effort never killed anyone, either. As hostesses go, she appears to be a fine specimen of what not to do, as evidenced by the fact that, possibly for the first time, the princess appears to be the most fashionable woman in the room. Or at least on the doorstep. At any rate, she bears no resemblance to rodents, drowned or otherwise.

**Manners, Manners!**

All things being equal, though, there are just some things one doesn't do to the host, like turn up early. Not even when the host is the second-rate Canadian Barbie affixed to an older royal brother. Regrettably, Prince Ken's siblings missed that memo when they set out to ambush Cinderilla at her flat. Minimal traffic, or a nascent desire to catch Ken's imitation Barbie on the back foot? Either option seems plausible. But if they've begun as they mean to go on, Cinderilla had better rise to the challenge! After all, she can't go to Buckingham Palace doing her best impression of a dripping mop

Wondering if the King is likely to hear of this would-be-royal's substandard appearance? We leave you in the capable words of A. A. Milne;

_Do you think the king knows all about me?_

_Sure to dear, but it's time for tea!_

Let's just hope the Royal Mitzi prepares a better meal than she makes an entrance!

^^ This week's guest journalist was Oz Diva!


	29. Extra! Extra!

"_By A Simple Twist of Fate" rarely mentions the newspapers. As Rilla's life goes on and she has fun at outings, such as an afternoon riding at Windsor Castle, it's easy to think that life in the UK is getting easier for her. Here at Royal Correspondent, we provide you with a snapshot of just some of the news coverage of Rill and her relationship with Ken. This week we thought we'd share with you the headlines, and perhaps a photo or brief article synopsis, of what is on the news stands at this moment in Rilla's life. While we haven't accredited each headline, these come from The Daily Mail (Royal Correspondent Jordan Montgomery), The Sun (Royal Correspondent Andrew Rosemont) and The Daily Express (Royal Correspondent Mrs Priscilla King) and The Isis (Abigail Morse)_

**Tatty Tears Cinde**_**rilla **_**to Shreds **(Article highlighting an alleged conversation where Tatty badmouths Rila)

**Tatty and Cinde**_**rilla**_** Tea for Two **(Photo of Rill and Tatty having coffee)

**Tatty Treats Cinde**_**rilla **_(Article about Tatty buying Rilla afternoon tea)

**Mitzi Makes Nice with Tatty **(Another article about Rilla and Tatty having coffee)

**Rivals Reconcile **(Rilla and Tatty catching up over tea)

**Prince & Tatty: Secret Engagement **(Article proposing that Ken and Tatty have been secretly engaged for years)

**Has Prince Ken Proposed to Toppy? **(Two photos. One Ken entering a jewellery shop, the other a long shot of tatty with something sparkling on her hand)

**Prince and Cinde**_**rilla**_**'s Romantic Dinner **(photo ofKen and Rilla at a restaurant)

**Cinde**_**rilla'**_**s College Romance **(Photo of Rilla and Dev in a corner of a coffee shop, sitting closely together chatting)

**Prince in the cat house **(Photo of Ken and George on the doorstep of their house. It appears they've been locked out)

**Mitzi's Modern Ménage** (Separate photos of Rilla, Ken and Dev)

**Cinde**_**rilla**_** Swaps Slippers for Boots **(Several photos of Rilla's feet showing that she has a large selection of boots)

**Toppy Tops Rilla **(Quiz style article showing that Toppy is preferred to Rilla by the public)

**Phwoar Toppy-Turvey Curves Preferred to Pancake Rilla **(similar article to above, saying that British men prefer Toppy's plunging cleavage to Rilla's less curvey figure)

**Syrup Scandle Cinde**_**rilla**_** Spurns Goldern Syrup **(Article about someone seeing Rilla taking Golden Syrup out of her shopping basket after Ken put it in, replacing it with Maple Syrlup

**Ken's Mock Barbie Mocks Syrup Manufacturer **(Similar article to above from a different paper, quoting a shopper who overheard Rilla scoffing at the idea of any syrup but maple)

**Maple Syrup Shortage in Oxford: Prince's Canadian blamed **(Article about a shortage of maple syrup in Oxford, implying that Rilla is buying all that is available)

**Sticky Situation: Syrup Shortage: Cinde**_**rilla**_** blamed! **(A different paper's take on the above article)

**Princess Pudgy Takes First Prize **(Photo of Persis winning a horse meet, looking a little overweight in her riding outfit)

**Rillas Reckless Ride **(Article on Rilla riding through Oxford on the wrong side of the road)

**Prince spurned? **(photo at Oxford of Rilla chatting to Dev, Prince Ken can be seen alone, in the background, looking at his phone)

**Heir's heir? **(Article suggesting Rilla is pregnant)

**Cinde**_**rilla**_** Deepens Her Hooks Into the Royal Family **(Article suggesting that Rilla and Persis have become friends)

**Prince Betrays Wales **(photo of Ken and Rilla eating Cornish Pastries outside shop selling Welsh cakes)

**Cornwall Consternation: Prince Prefers Scotch Eggs **(Article about Ken preferring scotch eggs to Cornish pasties)

**Princess Poaches Mitzi **(Article about Rilla being taken to Windsor by Persis)

**Ken Can't Settle On His Barbie **(Article suggesting that Ken can't choose between Tatty, Toppy or Rilla)

**Why a Canadian Princess Will Rejunvenate the Royals **(Editorial on how Rilla's Canadian background may bring a fresh perspective to the Royal Family)

**Why a Canadian Can Never Be A Princess **(Article suggesting one has to be British to marry into the Royal Family)

**Colonial Blood: Just What Palace Needs **(Article suggesting bring in some of the former colony's into the palace is good for the maintaining connections within what was the British Empire)

**No Colonials In Our Palace! **(article suggesting that you must be of British birth to become a Royal)

**Mitzi's Midnight Cravings **(photo of Rilla buying chocolate late at night, suggesting a pregnancy craving)

**Rilla Rides At Royal Invitation **(Article about Rilla riding with Persis at Windsor)

**Mews Meet for Mitzi **(Article from another paper about Rilla visiting Windsor)

**Princess Equine Entertains **(Yet another take on Persis and Rilla's riding experience)

**Windsor Welcomes Cinde**_**rilla**_ (Article suggesting RIlla was warmly received in Windsor

**While The King's Away The Mitzi Plays **(Article suggesting Rilla's visit was timed for when the King and Queen were away)

**Tampon Gate **(Article suggesting that Ken buying Rilla's tampons means they were taxpayer funded)

**Mitzi's Tax-Payer's Ride **(Article suggesting Rilla's time in the UK is funded by tax payers as she's living with Ken and he's funded by the public purse)

**Period Poverty Princess **(Article calling for free sanitary products for everyone, not just for the girlfriend's of royalty)


	30. Valentine's

_Authors Note: You may have noticed there was no Royal Correspondent last week. The official line is that there were no newspapers last week due to a series of complications caused by a strike by the __National Union of Printing and Paper Workers over the increased weight of the papers they have to carry now that they are full of stories of Prince Ken's girlfriend. This weekend there was almost a second strike over an ink shortage, but luckily that was averted, and we are now able to publish. There is an unofficial rumour spreading that it's because real life got in the way, but no one is expected to believe that!_

* * *

_From the desk of Andrew Rosemont, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun_

_The Sun  
February, XX, 2013_

**Love and marriage…**

They go together like a horse and carriage, if you believe the old song. At any rate, there's romance is in the Toronto air, as the spotlight shone on royal-adjacent couple Anne, 'Nan' Blythe, aspiring child psychologist, and fiancé Gerald, 'Jerry' Meredith as they stepped out to a chic Toronto restaurant for an evening out.

[Pictured; a somewhat blurry shot of Nan and Jerry through the window of a reputable Toronto restaurant.]

Pictured above, the couple anticipate Valentine's Day early, presumably as they take advantage of the city's Winterlicsious festival, which makes otherwise elite restaurants accessible to the mere public. Not that, as the sister to Prince Ken's Barbie, Nan Blythe _is _the mere public, but this does not appear to have deterred her or her beau in their restaurant selection. And in defense of Miss Blythe, with a beau akin to the proverbial churchmouse, a bit of saving the pennies never hurt anyone. After all, don't they say all the best love stories are about the poor?

**Almost like being in love**

Still, you'd better buy your hat now, because the couple look positively cosy by candlelight. We can only presume they are finalising plans for this year's upcoming summer wedding. Billed as the event of the Halifax summer season, the surprise is only that the Is and Ts aren't dotted and crossed already!

Wondering if you're on the guest list? It is so far unconfirmed whether the wedding will be open to the local public. Indeed, only one thing is certain; these young people are very much in love. Here's hoping the groom got the commitment gene that so obviously skipped the Rev. Meredith!

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrDnMRoyalCorresp  
__Daily Mail,  
__February XX, 2013__  
_

**Mother may I? **

**Mitzi's mother criticised for Cinderilla's sins!**

[Pictured; Anne Shirley Blythe out shopping in Kingsport carrying multiple bags. Cut with a photo right, of Rilla similarly burdened walking down the Oxford High Street.]

Some would say our worst mistakes begin at home, and so it is for the Royal Mitzi. After months of being lambasted by the press for her preoccupation with a good bargain, or even a nifty style as the case may be, it turns out she comes by the habit honestly. That's right folks; this commercialised Canadian learnt from the best, none other than beloved children's author and professor, Dr. Anne Blythe.

It seems the renowned authoress and lecturer derives her best inspiration from between bargain bins or while browsing the sales in her local stores.

**If the shoe fits**

[Picture of Anne inspecting a pair of practical but smart shoes.]

This explains not only our favourite Mitzi's shoe obsession, but also her preoccupation with shopping in general. Books, shoes, clothes…here we were thinking it was a cunning ruse to keep an observational eye on Lady Henrietta, but it turns out there's no escaping the rough colonial upbringing of a (Canadian) island life.

**All in the family**

It leaves us wondering, if Mother Anne's shopping obsession was this indelible, how _else_ has she impacted her children? Was daughter Joyce Raine's university misdemeanours similarly learned behaviour? Or, more recently, what about drug-addled delinquent son Shirley Blythe? Retaliation against an unfortunate naming choice, do we think, or could it be that the worm-infested apple doesn't fall so far from the tree after all.

Time will tell, of course. But for our money, this poses serious questions about just what kind of connections Windsor are making. It might be an extravagant shopping spree at the taxpayers' expense one day, but it's only a hop, skip and a jump from there to an unanticipated royal spawn with a potential drug habit. _Not_ what Queen Alexandra would have wanted, we'd wager. And _certainly_ not what the people have come to expect from their royals.

* * *

_From the desk of Irene Howard, Twitter: IreneH_SLBeacon  
The Shoreline Beacon  
_XX February 2013_  
_

**Spare a thought for the lonely this Valentine's Day**

Last week's column focused on how to make your Valentine feel extra special on this most romantic of holidays. For those without love, however, it can be heart-breaking.

(photo of John and Rosemary Meredith dining in a French restaurant on Valentine's Day)

Even on our small island, heartbreak is unknown. On Valentine's weekend, as I was out spotting romance to report to you all I saw the Methodist Minister, John Meredith enjoying a romantic dinner his second wife Rosemary West–Meredith. The couple were holding hands at Glen St Mary's romantic L'Arpège, and supping on _cuisses de grenouilles,coq au vin _and _soufflé_, and a fine selection of wines.

(what looks to be an old photo of Cecilia in a natural setting looking pensive)

This photo from the time, shows the pain etched on Cecilia's face at being usurped by Rosemary West eventually becoming wife to Cecilia's husband and mother to Cecilia's children.

One wonders if this sad story is where Rilla Blythe learnt her own romantic skills. John Meredith's son, Carl, was Rilla's high school sweetheart until she become bored with him. And now, according to London papers she is pushing those who had reason to hope for a royal proposal out of the way as she becomes closer to Prince Kenneth.

On this Valentine's Day, as you cuddle up to the one you love, spare a thought for those who've not yet met the love of their lives, or have, and had their heart broken by someone else's calculating designs.

* * *

_Rochelle Grace, Royal Editor Twitter: RoyalEd_Mirror  
Daily Mirror  
XX February 2013_

**Rilla Keeps Her Romantic Rivals Close**

Rilla Blythe, Prince Kenneth's Canadian girlfriend was spotted again last week having lunch with Lady Henrietta de Duras. Tatty, as Lady Henrietta is known among her circle, is widely reported to have designs on the Prince herself. Despite this, on several occasions Rilla has been seen enjoying a glass of wine and engaging in friendly conversation with her rival. There has been media speculation that Rilla perhaps wasn't aware of how close Prince Kenneth and Lady Henrietta have been in the past. New information, however, now suggests that this is a behaviour she's brought with her from the colonies.

**Like Mother Like Daughter**

A few months back some tabloids (incorrectly) reported that Dr Gilbert Blythe was having allegedly affair with a dark-haired woman. While those reports were later retracted, his wife, Dr Anne Blythe was spotted over the course of last week shopping and enjoying dinner with the same dark-haired lady.

(photo of Rilla holding a glass of wine, laughing, next to a photo of Anne in a similar pose)

Is it a coincidence that both mother and daughter have edged their rivals out by forming a quasi-friendship bond? While we can only speculate, it's clear that the Blythe women are not about to be unwittingly supplanted.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrDnMRoyalCorresp  
__Daily Mail,  
__February XX, 2013__  
_

**Potential Royal in Laws Drug Connections Deepen**

Thomas Zachery, former Georgia Tech student recently expelled and charged with procession of banned substances has claimed that his roommate, Shirley Blythe, was more heavily involved than previously believed.

According to Zachery it was Blythe who first introduced him to using illegal substances. "It was common knowledge at Georgia," Zachery commented "that Shirley Blythe always knew how what to take' His father's a doctor and taught Shirl just how much you needed to keep your edge while studying, and just what to take to feel a buzz for the party after."

We only have Zachery's word for Shirley Blythe's drug behaviour and for his father's involvement. If, however Dr Blythe's involvement in his son's behaviour is merely a lax attitude towards drug usage, it is still of serious concern.

I previously reported that Dr Gilbert Blythe and his wife Anne Shirley-Blythe were heavily involved in the drug prone flower-power movement in the 1970s. A blind eye is often turned to potential youthful indiscretions. When those indiscretions become lifelong habits, which are passed onto ones children, that behaviour can no longer be tolerated. Especially among those who hold positions of trust such as a surgeon and university professor.

Dr Gilbert Blythe and Dr Anne Blythe, parents to Rilla Blythe, Prince Kenneth's girlfriend, were unavailable for comment as we went to press. If, however, investigations continue to uncover more Blythe drug involvement, it can be expected that the authorities on both sides of the Atlantic will want to understand exactly how far this family 'business' goes.

* * *

_Widmerpole Anderson, Royal Correspondent, Twitter: WidmerTelegraph__  
__London Telegraph__  
XX February 2013_

**Canadian Universities tighten drugs policy**

_Canadian universities have introduced tighter drug testing policies amidst a rise in drug convictions among students of American universities._

Keen to be free of the drug culture that seems to be dominating American academic institutions, Halifax's Dalhousie University this week announced random searches mandatory drug testing.

"We've always had a zero tolerance to drugs" Dalhousie University's Chancellor said, "We're now expanding this to enable campus police to conduct regular drug searches of dormitories without first seeking students' permission. In addition, they can now request a mandatory drug test of any student acting suspiciously or with a history of drug usage."

**Staff Drug Testing being considered**

Dalhousie University are also taking legal advice on the possibility of considering expanding this to include regular, mandatory drug testing for all staff. "Increasingly we're hearing rumours that staff partake in regular drug usage" the Chancellor continued "We want to make it clear that zero tolerance includes everyone on campus."

Other publications have recently implied Dr Anne Blythe, an English lecturer at Dalhousie University's lenient attitude to her son Shirley's alleged drug taking was a contributing factor of increased drug usage at the USA's Georgia Tech, where until recently Shirley Blythe was enrolled as a student.

Dr Anne Blythe is mother to Rilla Blythe, Prince Kenneth's current girlfriend.


	31. Opium Annie

_Heat Magazine – Online version_

_#Rilla Watch_

_Xx February 2013_

Rilla Watch was busy this week with photos of Rilla Blythe out and about in Oxford with a group of friends.

(Photo of the group outside Sheldonian Theater)

From the accents, it looks like Rilla was showing friends from across the pond the sights Oxford has to offer, and what better way to star than the Sheldonian Theatre, to see that view that inspired the name 'city of spires'

( Photo of Rilla taking a photo of her friends outside Christs Church College Oxford)

Every Harry Potter fan knows that Christ Church is where to see the inspiration for the Hogwarts dining hall, and it seems Rilla and her friends are no different.

(photo fo Rilla , Nia and Seraphina having afternoon tea)

After a busy day's sight seeing everyone needs a spot of tea and cake. Rilla seems to have really developed a taste for the English Afternoon Tea – which champagne of course! If you look closely you can see the selection of cakes includes Millionaire shortbreads, these aren't always part of an afternoon tea platter, but it the second time we've spotted Rilla induldging – could it be a favourite of hers?

(photo fo Rilla, Nia, Seraphina, Dev, Lucy and Josh greeting each other outside University

Church)

Isn't it always fun bringing together old and new friends? We're used to seeing Rilla out with her university friends, and it seems she's brought her US friends to meet them, and what better place than the sweeping views of University Church.

(photo of all of them walking the streets eating ice cream. Rilla is walking closely next to Dev)

Rilla has certainly settled into life in the UK as can be seen by her and her friend enjoying some of Oxford's famous ice cream. Rilla has been seen to develop a close circle of friends in Oxford, as can be see here as she walks deep in conversation with one particular friend, while her American visitors are walking ahead.

We don't know how long her friends will be visiting for, but it seems Rilla may be out and about even more than usual as she shows them the around – don't forget to send us your photos! #RillaWatch

* * *

_From the desk of Widmerpole Anderson, Royal Correspondent, Twitter: WidmerTelegraph  
London Telegraph,  
XX February, 2013_

**Opium Annie: Inspiration behind best-selling author revealed!**

_Fasten your seatbelts – it's going to be a bumpy night! _So, famously, said Margo Channing, fictive actress of _All About Eve_. It turns out though that Dr Anne Shirley Blythe, beloved children's author and university lecturer, has less in common with Miss Channing than she does with certain drug-addled creators of the 1960s. Think the psychadellic likes of Florence the Pink Cow, Dylan the hippie rabbit, and Zebeddee the jack-in-the-box. (He went _boing!_ on arrival.)

And just how, you ask, does one get from the weirdly wonderful and wacky world of _The Magic Roundabout_ to beloved author of the _Katie, Maurice and Cuthbert_ books? Well, buckle those seatbelts because the bumpy ride has begun; it's drugs, folks!

That's right; it turns out Anne Blythe is no stranger to strange substances. And if you've ever read a _Katie, Maurice and Cuthbert_ adventure, that will come as no surprise. How else to arrive at the Dryad in her bubble, or that surreal adventure on the planet of Sentient Moonbeams? And how else to conjure up the Hobgoblin of Halgrim than by first ingesting something…let's say less than wholesome. And all that's before we arrive at Cuthbert, the cat who 'speaks' through 'Thought pictures.' No matter how imaginative the writer, you don't arrive at that kind of surrealism without a little help from a hallucinogenic or two.

**Children will listen!**

But the real question now is; should our children be reading this? Can we still trust this best-selling writer with our youngest and most impressionable minds? Whimsical and inventive as _Katie, Maurice and Cuthbert_ books are, are they really the most wholesome food for thought? Do they instil the kind of values we want to inspire in our young people? Or do we risk, by continually exposing their still-plastic minds to this stuff, accidentally inculcating a fondness by association for dangerous substances and dubious morals? Are these books really the moral touchstone we've made them out to be? Is there such a dearth of literature out there that we can do no better? Or do we really value our children's moral education so little?

Ban the books, we say. The risks just aren't worth it, and our children's health and futures too important. Out with _Katie, Maurice and Cuthbert_ and bring in the era of books by better, morally superior writers. There's got to be at least one out there who not only outsells Shirley-Blythe but also doesn't deal in drugs, either.

* * *

_From the desk of Irene Howard, Twitter: IreneH_SLBeacon__**  
**__The Shoreline Beacon,  
XX March, 2013_

**Keeping up with the Mitzi**

Wedding bells are definitely in the air, but Nan Blythe of Halifax has once again proven herself too good for Island life by dress-shopping in Toronto.

[Pictured; Blurry photograph of Nan entering a Toronto bridal shop.]

No, it's none of our paltry island tailoring for the proud soon-to-be-Meredith. It's all Keeping Up With The Mitzi as Miss Blythe tries vainly to keep pace with her younger (some press say prettier) sister. Understandable then, that as the wedding looms ever nearer, only the best will do for the younger Anne Blythe. Luckily, with the groom in a lucrative career and wealthy, if drug-crazed parents, Miss Blythe is in a position to afford such niceties. Let's hope Mr Meredith has a fancy for scads of lace, masses of beads and long trains. He'll need it!

On the plus side, we can all be relieved that Toronto's best and most fashionable efforts aside, there is absolutely no way Nan Blythe will fall out of her dress, whatever grandiose style she ends up choosing. This will no doubt occasion all kinds of relief in the church vestibule, where more than one mother of the bride has been seen before now to cram an unlucky bride back into her bodice. Small comfort, of course, but it does guarantee that at least one of the Blythe family will pull off looking respectable at the upcoming wedding. Under the current circumstances, that's nothing to sniff at!

* * *

_From the desk of Angus Montcrief, Twitter: AMArchCorresp  
The Evening Times  
XX, February 2013_

**The Next Generation**

(Photo of Ken, Teddy and Persis as children. They are dressed formally, the boys in suits and Persis in a stiff pink dress, yet the photo is informal. It is one of those rare royal photos that capture the children being children inbetween a more formal photo shoot. Ken is playing with a toy craft, Teddy is ignoring the toy in his hand, looking up in admiration at his big brother. Persis is to the side, holding a toy horse, looking left laughing at something off camera.)

The move from childhood to adulthood happens in small, often unseen, increments. And yet there are 'rites of passage' that society uses to mark the transition, as if it happens in a moment. As the first generation of university educated royals prepare for graduation this year, we ponder what their future will be and what they will bring to the world.

**Her Royal Highness, The Princess Royal**

The little princesses who loved playing with horses will graduate from the University of Bristol's Hartpury College with a Bachelor of Science in Equestrian Sports Science. The Princess Royal, who has never seemed to enjoy the attention of being a royal, appears at home in the stables. She is expected to pursue a career in professional equestrianism. While a career path open only to those from a privileged background, equestrianism is nevertheless hard work. One must work around the clock to prepare horses for competition in a variety of disciplines, manage equine diet and nutrition in preparation for breeding, and work with students of all ages to improve equitation.

In addition to her equestrian career, once she's graduated, The Princess Royal will increase her royal duties. Never popular with the tabloid press, one wonders how she will adjust to a life where she can not every completely escape media attention. Recent press activity seems to show that's she's developing a close relationship with her brother's girlfriend Rilla Blythe. Perhaps here she has found the older sister she never had, and Rilla's more bubbly personality will The Princess Royal feel more comfortable in the spotlight.

**His Royal Highness, The Duke of Kendal**

It was always assumed in this photo of the royal children that so captivated the public when it was released, The Duke of Kendal was looking up in awe at his older brother, but if you follow his eye line he may in fact be expressing an early fascination for the decorative cornice. The Duke of Kendal has indeed gone on to study architecture, and this summer will graduate with a Master of Arts in Architectural Design from the University of Edinburgh.

It seems his sister will pick up a greater share of royal duties before the Duke as he intends to continue his studies with a Master of Science in Advances in Sustainable Design. The Duke has championed environmental considerations to become part of building policy in the past and we can only assume with this new qualification he will continue to do so.

While officially the royals are unable to influence public policy, a Duke educated in sustainability and the impact people have on the environment seems to be a good middle ground. We can expect, once he's graduated, The Duke of Kendal to champion causes that will support the long term development of the United Kingdom.

**His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales**

While his brother and sister prepare for a life that blends their own interests and royal duties, for the Prince of Wales, royal duties will become his life.

This summer he will add a Masters in Public Policy from Oxford's Oriel College to his Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy, Politics and Economics (Oxford's Bailliol College) and his numerous military qualifications. These, together with his Intership at the United Nations prepare him well for a life in public office; one where he has all the influence, but none of the power.

While The Duke of Kendal and The Princess Royal are free to pursue careers in their own areas of interest, as the heir in waiting, The Prince of Wales has to find a way to build a useful and satisfying life while waiting for his father to die. A strange situation where the only way you can have the job that you've trained all your life for is for the person who'd most want to see you succeed to pass away.

Exactly what The Prince of Wales' new royal duties will be are yet to be confirmed. There is much speculation that before settling into this life he will want to formalise the relationship he has formed with Rilla Blythe. While many at first questioned his association with the young Canadian, and expressed concerns at her objectives she has proved a steadying influence. Throwing herself into her own studies, she has determinedly avoided the press and publicity that comes with dating the next King, and seems to have been well received by those close to the Prince of Wales.

Just what this next generation of royals will contribute to society is yet to be seen. It seems clear, at least, that they take their position seriously and are prepared to use this for public good. As a nation, we can be grateful that they have avoided the alcohol fueled embarrassments and misjudged sexual liaisons that seem to befall those in the public eye.


	32. Whine and Cheese

_From the desk of Abigail Morse, Twitter: Morse_Code_  
_The Isis ,_  
_Cheese Floor_

XX April, 2013

**Dance all Night!**

The flying terms are closing out soon, and the rowing races will be on us, but in the meantime #

RillaWatch is going strong. This week we spotted her in some striking and strappy green heels enjoying the iconic tradition of the Cheese Floor.

So cheese is falling a bit out of vogue, now, and the pub isn't what it once was. It's a fun student tradition that deserves to live on alongside end-of-exams soakings, May Day, and the weird rivalry between Keble and whatever college it was whose chickens they nicked. (See back issues of _The Isis _for reference.) Honestly, a night of corny back-dated music and drunken revelry is exactly no weirder than Morris Dancing. In fact, here at _The Isisl_, we think it's superior!

It absolutely deserves to be experienced by Rilla Blythe, student abroad and unfamiliar with all our national quirks and foibles. What better way to relax from the stress of a degree than by dancing the night away? And judging from those shoes, Miss Blythe isn't lacking in taste, so we say dance all night – and think of Oxford fondly!

[There follows a spread of photos from Atik's Cheese Floor evening featuring Rilla and her Oxford friends.]

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter:JrdnMRoyalCorresp_

_The Daily Mail,  
XX April, 2013_

**Cinderilla surprised by Ken's stealthy sidekicks **

Cinderilla might be good enough to bed his highness, but she's otherwise found wanting, it's revealed as she only this month is meeting the prince's close friends. And that under circumstances that strongly suggest she was never supposed to meet them at all!

[Blurry, badly lit photo of Rilla arriving back at her home, obviously late at night.]

The far-from-clandestine convening of the prince with his old Cheam comrades-in-arms has us convinced they were never supposed to meet the Mitzi at all! But who's not good enough? Her – or them?

A quick whip around the neighbourhood for opinions has garnered _The Daily Mail_ several noise complaints, at least two long-standing parking grievances and at least one or two neighbours convinced the prince was genuinely enjoying himself. Said next-door-neighbour Alice Cooper, long-time cat-sitter of popular royal moggie, George, 'It's really heartening to know even our future monarch sometimes indulges in a night at home with good friends. It's such a human thing to do.' And perennial George-defender and former lecturer David Malcolm backs her up; 'Good to know students will be students, whatever their pedigree.'

Obviously, the problem is not with the royal friends, which makes sense given the boys' longstanding history with the prince. We are forced to conclude, therefore, that Cinderilla is little more than a good roll in the hay and was never intended to meet these esteemed friends, though it's always possible that his highness was trying to spare the Mitzi's delicate sensibilities from a night of orgiastic debauchery. After all, with boarding school backgrounds, one thing generally leads to another…

Now it's all eyes on Ken's Barbie to see just what, exactly, she makes of these friends. Will they join the neglected ranks of Lady Toppy in social exile, or will the Mitzi's generous heart expand to include not just princelings and fellow colonial classmate, but also her paramour's friends. After all, it wouldn't be the first time it took three, or six, or even seven to make a relationship work – much less a (possible?) royal marriage.

* * *

_London Telegraph  
__Letters to the Editor  
__XX April 2013_

Dear Sirs,

I thoroughly enjoyed the photos you printed of the Royal Family attending Christmas Day services in your paper. I can't understand why you posted these next to photos of Rilla Blythe outside a random Canadian church. She is nothing to the public, and certain nothing to our Royal Family. Why your paper continues with this charade that she is of any importance to anyone in the Royal Family is beyond me.

I did wonder why you never publish photographs of the Prince of Wales attending church in Oxford while he is studying. My friend, Mrs Sloane, lit upon the likely reason: he's not regularly attending church. The Prince of Wales was a regular in his worship as a boy, and of course worship would have a core part of his time in the services. I should have realised there was shenanigans afoot when there was no coverage of his church attendance in New York. No doubt then, as in now, his current "lodger" Miss Blythe is preventing him from attending.

No one is falling for that ruse that they are simply house mates. No doubt she is tempting him with her wanton ways as those type of women do. Her real sin, however, is keeping him from Sunday worship.

Its time you desist in publishing any further articles on this harlot. I noticed a recent article suggesting that she has become close to The Princess Royal. Preposterous. We all know that Her Royal Highness has more taste and class than to befriend a common tramp like Rilla Blythe. Perhaps when this interloper ceases to receive publicity, she will realise the futility of her ambitions and move on to the sort of life a girl like that deserves. You can assist by not allowing her image in your paper anymore.

I trust this ends the matter and we can look forward to articles about The Prince of Wales and Lady Henrietta de Dumas' growing romance.

Sincerely

(Mrs) H B Donnell

* * *

_A Vision in Style  
__Fashion Blog  
__XX April 2013_

**Here comes the dress, so gorgeous that everyone will want to be a bride**

If last week's horrid weather made you forget its Spring, the new seasons bridal fashions from New York's finest designers leave you in no doubt. They collections are totes adorbes, so much so that I'd consider getting married myself. You know, if I had a partner and was in looooove. Luckily us singletons can live vicariously through those who fill our celebrity papers.

And sometimes, your wedding will be there just because of who your sister is dating. Y'all know who I mean. I've never met her, and don't know a lot about her, but I am super excited to see Nan Blythe marry her long-time partner Jerry this summer …and to see her sister at a public engagement with her royal boyfriend. Squee!

What to wear when you're just a normal person who's wedding will be splashed all over the papers because of your sister? Luckily New York's finest have come to the rescue. Here's a selection that will give Nan all that inner sophistication a bride dreams of without breaking the bank…. at least no more than any other wedding dress.

(picture right of strapless dress with lace at the top)

Silver metallic embroidery and lace feature on this strapless design. Timeless yet modern at the same time . The mesh design at the top of what would otherwise be completely strapless gives an air of sophistication while maintaining decorum.

(picture, left, of lace bodice and tulle skirt.)

If you're a regular reader of my blog you'll know that I do not get along with meringue style fluffy skirts. And yet, for this dress, I will make an exception. The tulle skirt and delicate lace bodice, so fine it looks like its spun sugar is completely delicious. Nan also has the figure that could carry off the fluffiness of this making her look like she's floating on air.

(picture right, fairytale dress with sequinned veil)

And for my third choice…. The sequinned veil, the delicate scattering of crystals on the bodice with not one too many and a skirt that could have been fitted by the angels themselves. If I was choosing for Nan, this is what she'd walk down the aisle in.

Are you getting married with Spring or Summer? What style of dress are you wearing? Send me your photos- we all love to catch a glimpse of a beautiful bride!

_(If you can't picture the dresses for yourself and want to see the style of a 2013 Spring wedding search for One Fab Day Marchesa Bridal 2013)_


	33. Cast Offs

_A Vision In Style Blog  
__Xx July 2013__  
_

(photo of wedding dress ripped to shreds)

Funny how angry you can get at people you've never met. Funny how without meeting them, you know they have done something incalculably unforgivable.

(photo of what could be Nan from the back, walking through Oxford)

Funny how you know that like a phoenix rising, some people will be stronger because of things outside their control.

(photo of Rill and Nan in Oxford together)

And, until they find that strength in themselves, those who love them have their backs.

* * *

_National Enquirer  
__Xxx July 2013__  
_

**CIA Infiltrate British Royal Family**

An unnamed source has revealed that Rilla Blythe, amour to the Prince of Wales, is a CIA informant.

It has long been a mystery how a Canadian student was able to become close to the heir to the royal throne. At the National Enquirer we suspect that the CIA orchestrated a seemingly everyday event where Ms Blythe could 'bump' into the future King. Having met, she was able to use her charms to endear herself to him and get close to the Royal Family. But not quickly enough.

The incident where Ms Blythe was held by immigration was actually a well-crafted ruse to engender sympathy from the Prince and hurry their relationship along. This was further pushed with a CIA leak of their relationship to the press, enabling Ms Blythe to become a close part of the Royal inner circle. A move that has proved most successful as she is now living with the Prince, friends with his sister and even apparently close to the King.

The CIA and the Royal Family are both renowned for not commenting on press reveals. Their silence can therefore only be further indication of Ms Blythe's CIA connections. MI5 is reported to be looking into Ms Blythe in more detail. If she is found to indeed be an American Spy Ms Blythe may expect a long incarceration in the UK

* * *

_Heat Magazine  
__Editorial  
__XX July 2013  
_

**A cancelled dress fitting, a sudden, unexpected visit to a sister, a cowardly act**

Jerry Meredith, ex-fiancé of Nan Blythe chose to communicate his desire to leave the relationship through an affair.

We've all recognised the signs of a failed romance. Dress fittings cancelled, sudden visits abroad to family. But what was it that broke up this once close relationship?

Nan Blythe and Jerry Meredith had been together since they studied at McGill University, Montreal together. Friendship became romance become something more. Friends have commented how the two were inseparable. Known to enjoy a good debate, they used to sit up to the wee small hours of the night arguing about everything from politics to religion and all that was in between.

On the strength of the relationship, Nan Blythe continued her studies in Toronto while Jerry Meredith pursued a career in finance. They were the perfect couple, due to wed. That is, until Jerry Meredith chose to pursue a sexual relationship with a work colleague.

If it seems cliché, that's because it is. Jerry, the son of a minister, the child of a broken marriage knew what the agreement he'd made with Nan meant. He knew the impact on others of a broken relationship. And yet he chose to casually sleep with a work colleague rather than communicate his concerns about the upcoming wedding with his intended.

Cowardly, deliberate, thoughtless and cruel. Jerry's betrayal must cut deep with Nan, and it seems unlikely these two will reconcile. Nor would we wish it. Jerry, once considered handsome and desirable has now shown himself for the weak, inconsiderate, selfish coward that he is.

What do you call it when one half of a relationship changes the rules by sleeping with someone else? Game over. Nan Blythe's silence has been dignified. She's been seen around Oxford with her sister but has continually declined to comment or to grieve in public. Jerry by comparison has snapped at reporters , tried to defend his lover, and refused to apologise for his behaviour.

Its said that we never really know what goes on behind closed doors. Whatever has happened in this relationship, we know that Nan Blythe has had a lucky escape from a boy-man who appears to be incapable of considering the needs of others over his own.

* * *

_From the desk of Irene Howard, Twitter: IreneH_SLBeacon  
The Shoreline Beacon  
XX July 2013_

**Wedding bells WON'T ring**  
What happens after a jilting? Well, all the put-upon guests generally go back to the house and help the shunned family eat an extortionate amount of food. Except that isn't what happened to snobbish Nan Blythe, who it turns out had no business being snobbish, since she wasn't even good enough for the local minister's son after all. That's right, folks; the Bridezilla act got too much even for him and the only solution was for him to fall into bed with a more reasonable girl. Or at least a prettier one. Terrible timing, but good on him for getting out while he could.

**When a man marries his mistress…  
**There's a job opening, folks! Lest you were thinking of taking it, it's worth noting that Jerry won't marry you, either. In fact, you might find yourself sharing Nan Blythe's shoes down the road, and wouldn't that be dire (and unfashionable!)?

Even so, With Nan Blythe out of the picture, all eyes are on Jerry and paramour Candice to see what happens next. We wouldn't be surprised if word on the grapevine next is that they're getting married, though why anyone would want to when it's even odds the man in question will be having it away with the next bright young thing to cross his path is anyone's guess.

**Like father like son**

In fact, given Jerry's family history of abandonment and absent-mindedness, it seems more than likely he has form for 'forgetting' he's attached, much less in a committed relationship. The Rev Meredith has always been absent-minded, obviously, and now the question everyone's asking is just when his involvement with the former Miss West started, and why exactly did Cecilia really leave? The man's famously absent-minded; could it be his marriage vows were just one more thing to slip the good reverend's mind?

With such examples at home, Jerry was doomed from the start. Though he should probably have seen to it that he broke the news to his fiancée in person. That's just manners, people.

But the truth will out and it turns out the emperor – or at least Jerry Meredith – has no clothes! It might be titillating viewing, but think twice before following him to bed , girls. Anything less is practically begging for a broken heart, and frankly, we can all do better than the minister's black sheep of a son.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdNMRoyalCorresp  
The Daily Mail,  
XX July, 2013_  
**  
Ken's Cannuck a cast off?**

Anchors away! His bags are packed, he's ready to go as HRH Prince Kenneth embarks on a passage to India. Speculation abounds as the palace declined to comment prematurely on the purpose of the tour nor on Ken's Barbie's notable absence. Is she not up to snuff? Does she embarrass King Owen? Did she fail the final audition for handelling of the family jewels? It's anyone's guess.

The most likely theory though, is that her pedigree just isn't blue blooded enough for future royal descendants. It was always going to be a problem, but with the Mitzi's graduation looming, we strongly suspect Ken has been advised to cut ties to his Cinderilla before her claws get in any further. And since one rough Colonial is as interchangeable another, to India he must go. If he comes back with a candidate for queen that knows her desert spoons from her teaspoons, so much the better.

Obviously it's an ask too far to enlist the Mitzi's help choosing her royal replacement, so Prince Ken has judiciously left her in Oxford, where, no doubt, one male friend or other will surely comfort her. And failing that, she has her cat. After all, she crossed continents for royalty, but that cat crossed continents for _her. _Mitzi and Moggie forever it is, and won't their coat of arms be darling?


	34. Graduation

_Happy Hannukkah, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from our Royal Correspondents to our faithful readers. This would have been posted just before the fat man did his chimney run, and indeed Alinya was ready to post, but McFishie had houseguests to clean for pre-Christmas, house guest to entertain during Christmas (which, it has to be said, was lots of fun) and a husband on the brink of death (aka a head cold) to nurse in the days after. I hope you've all managed to enjoy some of the peace and rejuvenation of the season ready for whatever 2020 brings. For me, a massive thank you to Kslchen for allowing me to continue to be part of this world and Alinya who in addition to be an amazing inspiration has been a wonderful friend to partner with on Royal Correspondent._

_From the desk of Abigail Morse, Twitter: Morse_Code  
The Isis,  
XX August, 2013  
_  
**Royally Capped and Gowned **

It's that time of year again. Graduation is upon us, made more than usually crowded this year by tourists and press wanting a glimpse of celebrity-couple Prince Ken and Rilla Blythe.

Keeping up our long history of outstanding journalism, _The Isis_'s photographer snagged a few photos just for you.

[Picture spread: Dr Anne Shirley Blythe being received by King Owen, King Owen meeting Dr G. Blythe for presumed first time; Rilla Blythe crossing the graduation stage at the Sheldonian; Prince Ken receiving his degree.]

As pictured, both Miss Blythe's parents and King Owen were in attendance. Not pictured but also present was Queen Leslie, though it is unclear if she, too, met with Rilla's family.

Rilla Blythe graduates with a Msc in Sociology, and Prince Ken with an MPP. We have received no statement on their future plans but wish them all the best going forward from Oxford. _Gaudeamus Igitur!_

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgommery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
The Daily Mail,  
XX August, 2013_**  
**

**A Cannuk may look at a King**

[Pictured: King Owen shaking hands with Drs Anne and Gilbert Blythe.]

It seems, having finally obtained her degree, Cinderilla may not need it after all. Pictured above, the paupers and the king finally meet, brought together ostensibly by their offsprings' graduation. But is that the whole story?

**Wedding bells may ring? **  
Could it be that wedding bells are once again ringing, this time for Ken and his Mitzi? Surely nothing less would cause King Owen to condescend to greet such ordinary persons as a neurosurgeon and his wife? If so, all we can say is that we hope it goes better for Ken's Colonial than it did for her hapless sister!

**Royally favoured?**  
But if it's true and a wedding _is _in the offing, one has to wonder just how the Shirley-Blythes feel about shelling out all that money on an Oxford degree for a daughter more interested in royal progeny than academia. Money doesn't grow on trees, after all, and Oxford doesn't come cheaply bought. Unless of course, you're in bed with a Prince, in which case anything might well go, but if so we demand a financial review of the royal budget! Though frankly, it hardly seems worth the effort on the palace's part, given Cinderilla hardly distinguished herself with a First Class marks. (We wouldn't like to speculate about her…shall we say…_extracurricular_ activities.) What's worse, it's a waste of a perfectly good academic place on a wannabe-royal.

And while Oxbridge might have a grand tradition of catering to its posh favourites, it does seem a bit much that it should make such a faff over the Prince's paramour of the moment, a redheaded knock-off Barbie that isn't even British. It's a poor state of affairs indeed when the sacred halls of Oriel College are reduced to rejecting hard-working locals in favour of Ken's phony fancy-woman. Let's just hope she really does make up in the bedroom for her short-comings in the classroom!

* * *

_Pip's Blog: A Vision in Style Twitter: Pip-AVIS  
__August 2013__  
_

It's GRAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDUAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTIOOOOOOOOON! This week I graduated from my fashion degree. Thanks to this blog I've already received some offers I'm considering, so I was able to relaaaax and enjoy the experience. It also gave me some time to think about who else is graduating this year.

Rilla Blythe, the fashion savvy Canadian who captured the heart of a PK while living here in New York has finished her Master of Science at Oxford University. I thought I'd write about what she wore to graduation, but it was sooooooooooo boring. Well, not totally boring – her shoes were a totally cute pair of patent leather wedges, no doubt all the better for tackling all those cobbles in Oxford but they were black, as was the rest of the outfit. At first I was worried that England had robbed Rilla of her love of colour. Seeing that everyone else was wearing the same lack of colour, however, I did some investigation and discovered there are rules in Oxford about what you can wear to graduation. The summarised version of which is it has to be boring.

Just as well they don't apply to the parents. Did you see what her Mum was wearing? I love when a woman knows how to dress and Mrs Blythe does. Her dress was a gorgeous shimmery teal. Dark enough to be subdued and understated with a subtle leaf pattern, but the outline in silver caught the light and transformed the whole outfit into something more. She also knows a thing or two about fabric, the wrap jersey dress skimmed her figure letting us know that this is a woman who has never lost her girlie shape. The outfit was finished with a pair of wedge heels that could have been a twin with Rilla's – no doubt she was warned by her daughter about the Oxford cobbles.

If I'm talking about Rilla's parents I should mention her father's suit as well. That man knows how to wear one. A classic modern cut he manages to effortlessly look right at home meeting King Owen.

It just goes to show that whether you're graduating in the fashion of your choice, forced to confirm to a rule about what not to wear, or a parent cheering your daughter (or son) on, if you wear something that's comfortable for your environment, with a classic cut, you'll always look effortlessly stylish and ready to meet a King.

More of my post-graduation plans soon!

* * *

_From the desk of Angus Montcrief, Twitter: AMArchCorresp  
The Evening Times  
XX, August 2013_

**Three Royal Graduations**

This month King Owen and Queen Leslie have attended the graduations of all three of their children.

Two weeks ago, Her Royal Highness, The Princess Royal graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Equestrian Sports Science from Bristol's Hartpury College. The photos of the day capture Her Royal Highness laughing and looking at home with her peers at the ceremony at Gloucester Cathedral. It seems she has found a niche where she is happy and comfortable, one that we hope will continue as she pursues a career in professional equestrianism.

Last week, King Owen attended His Royal Highness the Duke of Kendal's graduation from the University of Edinburgh with a Master of Arts in Architectural Design. Both the King and the Duke wore traditional Scottish Kilts for the ceremony, as did most of the graduating class. This is more a pause than and end for the Duke who plans on continuing his education with a Master of Science in Advances in Sustainable Design.

As important as these events were, however, they were overshadowed by His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wale's graduation from Oxford's Oriel College with a Masters in Public Policy. I could write about the King's evident price as his son received his award, or speculate how the Prince of Wales will use his new qualifications, but all of England is waiting to see if the Prince will announce his engagement to the Canadian Rilla Blythe now that they both have both completed their Masters qualifications. It is known that His Royal Highness is about to embark on a tour of India. What's not known is if his live-in-girlfriend will accompany him. The timing of his proposal is also not known, though it is generally accepted that an announcement is imminent. The public meeting of Miss Blythe's parents and King Owen was generally seen as a pre-cursor to the couples betrothal.

* * *

_Heat Magazine  
__XXX August 2013__  
_

**Sizzling Summer Romances**

While the national excited awaits the announcement of an engagement between His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales and Canadian Rilla Blythe, royal watchers have been captivated by the romance of her parents.

That's right, her parents.

While public displays of affection by parents are usually considered cringeworthy, the obvious love her parents feel for each other has captured the hearts of the nation as we all let out a collective awwww.

Rilla's parents, who were in Oxford for her Masters of Science graduation were captured by photographers holding hands (right), staring lovingly at each other (centre), and sharing special moments with the exchange of kisses (right). Our favourite though was the moment Dr Gilbert Blythe picked up his wife and twirled her around. We're not sure what was cuter, the way she drapped her arms around his neck, or the obvious joy encapsulated by her laughter as they shared the moment.

Rilla was captured rolling her eyes at her parents, indicating that such displays are not unusual where these two are concerned.

Right now the public are happy to bask in this lovely couple's obvious shared joy, but not for long. Bookmakers are taking bets on when the royal engagement will be announced, with mid September currently at 10/1 odds. A Royal Wedding by Christmas and a baby announcement by Spring 2014 are at 50/1 odds. If the Prince and his Canadian are half as amorous as her parents appear to be that may not be as farfetched an idea as it was first thought!

* * *

_Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspndent. Twitter Rosemont_Sun  
The Sun  
__XX August 2013__  
_

**King Owen Signals Royal Wedding**

(Photo of King Owen being greeted by Dr and Dr Blythe)

King Owen's public acknowledgement of the Doctors Blythe, Rilla Blythe's parents is seen a precursor to a Royal Wedding Announcement.

The King attended graduations for all of his children in recent weeks. It was only, however at the graduation of his eldest son His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales that the King did a public walkabout. While he took the time to acknowledge the waiting public he singled out both Rilla Blythe and her parents, who she introduced him to, perhaps for the first time.

This public introduction is being seen as the strongest indication yet that a Royal Wedding is imminent. The King has long been acknowledged to an expert at working the press, and he would have known the significance such a public acknowledgement would have. Acknowledging Rilla Blythe publicly lends credibility to the Prince and the Canadian's relationship, banishing Tatty and Toppy who were formerly speculated to be rivals for the Prince's affections to the role of 'ex'. Extending this greeting to her parents, however, signifies that this relationship is much more serious than previously believed. It's a public acknowledgement that the King fully supports his son's choice, and leaves the way open for the Prince of Wales to 'pop the question'.

One has to wonder what the Canadian herself would think of such a question. Initially she was seen as a gold digger, dating the Prince for the money and position such an association would bring. Now that she has a Masters from Oxford, however, the world is her oyster. Would she be happy to settle for a life of public service or would she prefer to take her degrees and make her own mark on the world. Through the connections she's made through her education and relationship with the Prince of Wales there is almost nothing that she couldn't do.

And is the Prince ready to settle down? He's come close before most recently with Lady Henrietta de Duras. Could it be that the Canadian has what it takes to satisify a Prince's passions?

And what of the public. Are we ready for Rilla, Princess of Wales and perhaps one day Queen Rilla, or even Queen Bertha if she reverts to her full birth name? Royal spin doctors have been testing the public reaction to Rilla Blythe for some months now and it seems that while she was a first seen to be quite shallow, public opinion is swaying in her direction.

The Prince is due to tour India later this summer. Its thought this will be a test of their relationship to see how they cope with being apart. If all goes well, it is expected that he will bring back an Indian diamond with which to propose. The former colony will, no doubt, be disappointed not to have the engagement announced before the visit, and it is expected that the Prince will return with his Princess-in-waiting shortly after their engagement is announced.


	35. Dealings with Weddings

_Happy 2020! May it bring you happiness, health and wonderful Fan Fiction. Here are some more articles from your favourite journos based on tenuous fact, speculation and wild imaginations. You may see a change to the frequency of our updated in 2020. Don't worry, we're still tracking the wonderful "By A Simple Twist of Fate', just adjusting how we do that to take into account that pesky real life that gets in the way of fan fiction writing. Thanks for reading! Alinya and McFishie._

_Rochelle Grace, Royal Editor Twitter: RoyalEd_Mirror  
Daily Mirror  
XX August 2013_

**Sister's Engagement Hoax: Secret Royal Wedding Plans Revealed**

The **_Daily Mirror Exclusively _**reveals that the broken engagement of Rilla Blythe's sister, Nan was an elaborate hoax to secure venues for the forthcoming Royal Wedding.

Every girl dreams of marrying in her home town and it seems Rilla Blythe is no exception. St Matthew's Hallifax, founded in 1749 is a popular choice for brides, but when one is marrying a prince, it is difficult to book a church in advance.

Step in Rilla's sister. Nan Blythe feigned an engagement will long time friend Jerry Meredith to book both St Matthew's Church for the ceremony and the prestigious Halifax Club for the reception.

Close friends of Nan Blythe and Jerry Meredith were perplexed by their engagement announcement. Although they have been friends and housemates for many years, those close to Jerry can reveal that he never wanted to settle down. "Jerry always had an eye for beautiful women", one friend commented "Nan Blythe was never his style". The friend went on to confirm that Jerry Meredith had several discrete relationships during their time he was supposedly dating Nan Blythe

It is understood that the mock engagement would continue until next month when the Royal Wedding was scheduled to take place. Pending newspaper coverage of Jerry Meredith's latest assignation however caused them to confirm the engagement was not continuing ahead of schedule.

The bookings at St Matthew's and The Halifax Club, however, were not cancelled. It was only when the venues confirmed that they could not release these dates that it became clear it was being held for another wedding, a royal wedding.

It is thought that the Prince of Wales and Rilla Blythe intended to marry privately in front of family and friends this September, followed by a lavish Royal ceremony in England just before Christmas.

With plans revealed it is unclear if Rilla and her Prince will continue with their plans. While the Palace was unavailable for comment, unofficially it has been said that King Owen will encourage the couple to hold a public wedding in England at Westminster Abbey.

* * *

_Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspndent. Twitter Rosemont_Sun  
__The Sun  
__XX August 2013_

**Graduation marks the end of Royal Relationship**

Ending degrees come with change. New home, new jobs, and in some case of the Prince of Wales and Rilla Blythe new relationships.

The meeting of Rilla Blythe and her parents King Owen now seems to have been a goodbye rather than a welcome to the family as the Prince of Wales heads to Inverness for spend the next year in military training.

Close royal watchers will remember that the last time the Prince of Wales was training his long standing girlfriend of the time, Lady Thomasina Wentworth-Watson (aka Toppy), only to dump her when his training ended. It is said that not wishing to repeat the same mistake, the Prince has ended his relationship with Rilla Blythe.

Moving vans outside of their Oxford resident last week took boxes in two different directions, further confirming that Rilla will not be joining the Prince in Inverness. It was unclear as we went to press what her plans are, or if she'll even stay in the United Kingdom.

Those close to the Prince have suggested that this will be the last phase of his training before he takes on full time royal duties. Mindful that he is preparing to take over from his father at some time in the future, he is becoming more seriously minded about many things in his life, including his relationships. While he is said to be fond of the Canadian Mitizi he is clear that she is not "royal bride" material. In this light, ending his relationship now seems like an act of kindness.

With Rilla Blythe joining the ranks ex-girlfriends, speculation is now open on where the Prince of Wales will seek a royal bride. Will he look to form greater connections with titled families here in the UK, or connect to older royal families of Europe? Having sewn his royal oats with commoners, it now seems that whoever he dates next will be with a view to 'interviewing' her for the role as next Queen of England.

* * *

_From the desk of Irene Howard, Twitter: IH_SL_Beacon  
The Shoreline Beacon,  
XX August, 2013_

**Mary in Haste, Repent at Leisure!  
**The Blythe-Meredith families are joined after all following the recent union of James (locally Jem) Blythe and Faith Meredith. The wedding, which took place unexpectedly at the Blythe summerhouse, Ingleside, took place pending the hasty departure of the bridal couple on a Doctors Without Borders trip.

Of course, there's nothing like adversity, or, say, an African Adventure to test the mettle of any couple. We just hope cracks in the marriage take longer to form than they did between the local reverend and his former wife. Though with all that time in the middle of nowhere, the new and currently happy couple will have ample time to find out for themselves.

Given that Faith Meredith obviously _did _inherit her mother's devil-may-care impetuosity, we wouldn't like to put money on how long the union lasts. We _certainly_ wouldn't risk a bet on whether she got the monogamy gene that patently missed mother and brother. In fact, it's odds on she's discovered in the arms of some foreign stranger before the African sojourn was out.

Indeed, it seems more likely than not that the reason for this spontaneous marriage has nothing to do with love at all, and everything to do with an impending baby. What other _possible_ reason would cause the Revs Meredith to sanction an eleventh-hour wedding if not to save what little reputation Faith Meredith has cobbled together over the years?

For those keeping score, this is the same young woman who thought a miniskirt acceptable church-going fare and had no qualms playing the part of the pig in the local pantomime. We just hope her doctoring is better than her taste – oh, and that we're wrong about the baby. It would be such a shame if yet more Meredith descendants had to be doomed to the curse of a broken home all because of their parents' ill-timed game of Bury the Weasel – or should that be Hide the Bishop?

* * *

_From the desk of Andrew Rosemont, Twitter:  
The Sun,  
XX, August, 2013_

**In the Family Way**

**Bored of Barbie? Prince Ken plays field, we suspect**

Pending a recent rapid-fire wedding between the Blythe-Meredith family (yes, that's the same families who recently suffered a broken engagement) of James (Jem) Blythe and Faith Meredith, speculation is rife about an impending niece or nephew for the Royal Mitizi. But could it be more than that?

[Pictured; Faith and Ken in conversation, apparently laughing]

As seen above, Prince Ken looks awfully cozy with Cinderilla's sister-in-law. While the families declined comment, we wouldn't like to be in the shoes of Ken's Barbie after watching him cosy up to the extended family. Certainly not when it seems likely that the much-speculated Blythe-Meredith baby could be royalty after all.

It would just about take the cake if after Miss Anne Blythe's jilting by Gerald (Jerry) Meredith, Faith Meredith's bastard offspring did turn out to be fathered by her sister-in-law's boyfriend, but with the Meredith family, we've learned to rule nothing out. For those keeping tack at home, both Miss Meredith's mother and brother live in different out-of-province communes, while her brother infamously left Cinderilla's sister at the altar. (See our previous article for speculation he never meant to marry her in the first place.) Meanwhile, younger brother Thomas Carlyle Meredith is the commune-dwelling, former-boyfriend to Cinderilla. We tell you, these two families are more interwoven than your average inbred dogs, and that takes doing. Increasingly then, as the evidence mounts the surprise isn't that Faith Meredith should fail to live up to her virtue-name, but that she was christened with one at all!

With the royal romance on the rocks could this be the straw that breaks the camel's back? And just how decent is James Blythe? Will he take on a royal bastard and all that comes with it, or will he be taking a leaf out of former friend Gerald Meredith's book and leaving his new wife and possible child high and dry? It's all eyes towards Africa as we await answers to these questions!

_Next Update due: Jan 27_


	36. The Rilla Effect

_Heat Magazine  
__December 2013_

**Six Degrees of Rilla Blythe**

Londoners have been adapted the 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' game around Prince Kenneth's girlfriend, Rilla Blythe, who has moved from Oxford to Croydon. What started out as competitive bragging rights based on the number Rilla sightings has turned into a drinking game where the more people you know who have seen Rilla, or the more you have seen her yourself, the more shots you drink. It's even became a way of breaking ties. A recent pub quiz at Rilla's local _The King George _had two teams tied for first prize, the tie was broken by the team who had had the most direct sightings of Rilla (an impressive 452).

Twitter has also exploded. #RillaWatch has seen a surge of activity with local's competing with the paparazzi for the best shots of the girl in line to marry the man in line for the throne.

Best places to spot her are reported as being the Southern Rail main line between Croydon and London, the Underground (District or Central Lines), or Oxford Street where she's been seen shopping.

Her choice of work has also spawned a new hashtag - #RoyallyServed – where guests at the events where she waitresses tweeting about their experience of having been served by the girl who serves our future King's every need. It seems that no London event is complete without Rilla Blythe as one of the wait-staff. Here's a selection of the more PG rated guests' tweets:

_She'd be much prettier if she smiled more #RoyallyServed_

_I tried to talk to her, but she moves so fast #RoyallyServed_

_How 'bout these baps #RoyallyServed _(photo of Rilla serving mini burger canapes)

_Fill me up Rilla! #RoyallyServed _(photo of Rilla refilling champagne glasses)

_Cutest Canadian accent! #RoyallyServed_

_What's this aboot? #RoyallyServed_

_That uniform is doing things to me #RoyallyServed_

_Paid extra to have Rilla serve at my event and she didn't even pose for a photo! #RoyallyServed_

_She wouldn't talk to me, but seems happy chatting to this posh dude #RoyallyServed _(photo of Rilla answering the query of rich looking guest)

_I wonder what he's paying for? #RoyallyServed _(photo of a man putting his credit card back in his wallet after paying Rilla for the bar bill)

_Tuned me down flat when I asked for her phone number, b**** #RoyallyServed_

* * *

_Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspndent. Twitter Rosemont_Sun  
The Sun  
__XX December 2013__  
_

**Sir Tops Prince**

Those who were hoping for a reconciliation between Prince Kenneth and Toppy (Lady Thomasina Wentworth-Watson to use her correct title) were sadly disappointed to find out recently he'd been pipped at the post by his close friend Sir Hew Home of Wedderburn, 16th Baronet.

Last night all of London's elite gathered at Banqueting House to celebrate the engagement of Lady Thomasina and Sir Hew. According to our sources, Sir Hew and Lady Thomasina have always been good friends, but their friendship blossomed into something more last Summer.

"Toppy and Ken haven't dated for years," one guest who wished to remain unnamed stated, "its only the tabloids that have kept fanning the flame of that relationship."

Others weren't so sure, while no one was prepared to go on record, it widely accepted among some of their closer friends that for Toppy, Sir Hew is cold soup warmed over. Having lost her opportunity at a royal marriage to the Canadian Mitzi, Toppy has done the next best thing and married into one of Scotland's oldest families.

And, with the Wedderburn family estate reportedly being worth in excess of £60 million, it's not the worst decision Lady Thomasina could make. When they marry, their combined wealth will exceed that of Prince Kenneth, making them in top twenty of the country's wealthiest households.

_**Cinderilla goes to the ball**_

London's top waitress, Rilla Blythe, was on hand to witness the engagement celebrations, not as a guest, but as a waitress.

Perhaps she was simply ensuring her rival was well and truly off the market as her own relationship with the Prince continues to be on rocky ground. In fact, with Rilla waiting on his closest friends, speculations are rife that her relationship with the Prince has cooled.

Royal commentators agree that if the relationship was serious, the Royal Family would not have allowed Rilla Blythe to work as a waitress to the rich and famous. It is far more likely that the Canadian wannabe is looking for her next wealthy conquest. And she might not have to go far. One of the staff working that night reported seeing Rilla entering an anti-room with two male guests. Just what Rilla got up to with these two men is unknown, but they both left about ten minutes later wearing rather satisfied smiles. The bride to be was heard yelling at the Canadian shortly afterwards. One can only assume at the use of her engagement for the Mitzi's own assignations.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
Royal Correspondent, Daily Mail (Online Edition)  
__XX December 2013_

**Oxford to Croydon: How the (aspiring) Mighty Fall**

After the party is over, we all must go back to our roots. Rilla Blythe has swapped the spires of Oxford for the more mundane Croydon. While Prince Kenneth completes his Airforce Training, his sometime girlfriend has been forced to live by her own means, swapping her spacious, Georgian Oxford home for a post-war Croydon concrete monstrosity.

(picture left of a flat similar to the one Rilla has and picture right of the place they had in Oxford).

Without her royal boyfriend to get her into prestigious Oxford degrees or to fund her lifestyle, Rilla Blythe is doing what the rest of us do, trying to live within her monthly salary. Along with a change of residence,this has forced Rilla's taste in food and fashion has come down a peg or two as well .

(Photo left: Rilla and Tatty having afternoon tea. Photo right: Rilla eating a sandwich in Pret)

Two months ago, Rilla was known for her luxurious afternoon teas funded by her high society friends. Last week she was spotted scrambling around the bottom of her bag for coins to pay for a Pret sandwich, and chocolate brownie (seems she is even foregoing her favourite millionaire shortbread!).

(Photo left: Rilla wearing a pair of Jimmy Choos; Photo right Rilla trying on boots at Jones The Bootmaker)

Officially, Prince Kenneth is completing pilot training in Scotland, while Rilla Blythe pursues her career (as a waitress!) in London. If he was planning on returning, however, she would have found more formal digs, and they certainly would have been vetted by the Royal Family's security team. One has to question – is the fairytale over?

(Insert Left: a series of #royallyserved tweets suggesting Rilla flirts while she waitresses)

Perhaps even Rilla thinks so, if we are to believe the trending hashtag #royallyserved on the amount of men she openly flirts with. Like royal girlfriends before her, Rilla may have seen the writing on the wall and be searching for her next companion to soften the blow with the Prince confirms she's been replaced.

* * *

_From the desk of Angus Montcrief, Twitter: AMArchCorresp  
The Evening Times  
XX, December 2013_

**Events Companies that break the law to cater to their client's every whim**

Using event companies to manage celebrations has long been the way of the rich and famous. From private parties to corporate hospitality, the best event organisers are able to bring together everything you and your guests need for your party.

Are these companies, however, starting to go beyond the ice sculpture and imported cavier?

Our investigates have found that major event companies have been reported as sourcing drugs and prostitutes to satisfy the whims of their high end clients.

Several events companies have been linked to such behaviour, including The Event Experts where Rilla Blythe, girlfriend of heir to the throne Prince Kenneth, is currently employed as a "waitress". Our investigators have found that events where Rilla Blythe waitresses attract a premium of between 15 -35% above their standard offering. One has to wonder what services Rilla Blythe performs for this extra prices. Surely it cannot just be the way she carries a tray full of glasses?

The Events Experts deny that any illicit activity is included in their entertainment packages. They claim that they charge extra for events that require senior wait-staff, that is wait-staff who have passed a Home Office DBS check, and have signed non-disclosures agreements to ensure any conversation they overhear is not discussed elsewhere. Our investigators, however, found that while the staff at events changes frequently, the one constant is Rilla Blythe.

Further question to The Events Experts have been referred to their lawyers, who declined to answer. This seems over the top for a legitimate business with nothing to hide. Indeed, by calling in their lawyers The Events Experts are confirming that, at best, they are sailing very close to the wind.

* * *

_Marketing Weekly  
__Creative Strategy Section  
__XX December 2013__  
_

**The Rilla Effect**

British clothing brands are up in arms after foreign rivals experience an upsurge in sales this season based on what they're calling 'The Rilla Effect'. Designer brands have long known the effect of celebrity endorsement. Savvy Swedish owned high street brand, H&M, is now enjoying the benefit of fashion choices of royal girlfriend, Rilla Blythe. And other brands are looking to follow their lead.

H&M are known for providing fast, affordable fashion to British consumers. Rilla Blythe, with an eye for fashion on a shoestring has been photographed wearing several of this season's H&M range, often multiple times. A fact that wasn't lost on Linnea Andersson, H&M's Marketing Director.

"I'd noticed photos of Rilla Blythe in the UK daily tabloids, often wearing H&M's new range of pocket-skirts," Ms Andersson said, "We were renegotiating our advertising budget with NewsGroup, who own many of the lead tabloids, and I decided to add the negotiation advance notice of any photos where she is wearing a H&M product. We agreed we would take a half page spread every time they featured Rilla Blythe wearing a H&M design."

A decision that has paid off. H&M sold out of the pocket-skirt within days of their ad appearing next to the photographs of Rilla Blythe, and a pea-green winter coat she was photographed wearing twice has become their fastest selling item this season.

It's a win-win arrangement for both NewsGroup, who've increased their share of H&M's marketing budget, and for H&M who are receiving celebrity endorsement of their range without, it seems, having to pay endorsement fees.

When asked if it was fair to Ms Blythe, Linnea Andersson responded "the photographers were already taking photos of her, she must wear something, we simply put two and two together in a unique way. In fact, if she'd like to formalise the arrangement, we would love to use her in our upcoming Spring campaign."

British high street brands who have been struggling for sometime are reportedly "disappointed" that Prince Kenneth's girlfriend is choosing to support non-British brands. BHS' Marketing Manager, Jane Ross commented "We respect the privacy of the Royal Family and would never have imposed in the way H&M have done. Even so," she continued "you'd think the girlfriend of the heir to the throne would support British brands in her choice of everyday fashion. We have a range of skirts that are nicer than the H&M one she was photographed wearing!"

It's not just fashion that is experiencing _'The Rilla Effect'_. When a box of own brand millionaire shortbread could be seen poking out from her shopping bag, Tesco moved the product to front of store and it sold like hotcakes.

Ms Blythe was unavailable for comment. It does seem, however, if she ever gets sick of the waitressing there is a career as an influencer waiting for her!


	37. Cinderilla's Shame

_From the desk of Andrew Rosemont, Twitter; Rosemont_Sun  
The Sun,  
January XX, 2014_

**Just how **_**Ex**_** are Cinderilla's Exes?  
**

Following the live-on-screen revelation that far from a torrid affair abroad, the Mitzi's Mexican rendez-vous with Chad Johnson was completely clandestine, the nation is shocked. 'I wanted it to be known,' said last night's impromptu caller-inner-er Eric Reese, 'that Rilla Blythe did not cheat on me at any point in our relationship.'

But is it _true_? Speculation is rampant. We put the question to you, and here's what you came back with.

Ned (Twitter, fRaTbOi94) said: He's still in love with her or they're still together. Otherwise why care? She clearly earned all the muck the press threw at her!

And he wasn't alone. Others backed him up, as in this exchange below;

Brody (Twitter, SuRfsUp05)Someone's trying to get his hooks back into Cinderilla  
Harmony (Twitter, Unicorns4Eva, replying) : Unless he never retracted them?

While university student Jon (Twitter; DudeBro16) said; Personally, I don't get the appeal. Never did like carrot tops. But I guess that's one way to win the Mitzi back from royalty…

Elsewhere, in support of the Mitzi, RationalCreature on Twitter wrote: Oh, for god's sake! Does no one else think this is no one's business but Rilla's?!

Still, the majority believe the misguided Mitzi's involvement with Johnson and Reese to be ongoing, as this follow-up Tweet by Ned (Twitter, fRaTbOi94) went viral; Anyone else think those exes aren't exes? You heard it here first – that Barbie has the prince hoodwinked!

So, just how far in the past _are _Cinderilla's former dalliances? And how lonely is she really? With Prince Ken up in Scotland, could Chad's wish for a more involved relationship be granted? And if not Chad, Eric Reese has the perfect opening to rekindle the old flame – if it even needs rekindling. As for how he'd do it, well, anyone that suave and savvy on an impromptu call will have no trouble climbing back into bed with Cinderilla, trust us.

* * *

_From the desk of Jordon Montgomery, Twitter:JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
The Daily Mail,  
January XX, 2014_

**Sun sets on Cinderilla?**

It comes as no revelation that Prince Ken's Mitzi has a colourful past. We'd speculated before, obviously, that this was not her first go at romance – you don't snag a royal without some idea how to play your cards – but now we have official confirmation.

And what a past it is! Everyone has a few old flames in their life, but few people feel a compulsion to sleep with every man (or woman) they meet. Whereas this would seem to be the Mitzi's modus operandi. No wonder she looked so cosy with her fellow Oxford Colonial! She was probably in bed with him too! Indeed, the only surprise is that their covert involvement didn't lead to Cinderilla's outing sooner as a man-hunting Magdalene.

Mind you, it's not all bad, as now the nation's favourite Princess Prudish stands a chance at learning a thing or two about how to snag a bloke. Well, she can hope. We're a bit less confident. But with the sex-savant Cinderilla for a teacher, something must look up for Her Highness, Princess Pudgy sometime soon, right? Or maybe she'll just leave off those pantyhose in public again. The jury's still out.

**We are not amused**

So that's the Princess Persis sorted. Perhaps. More pressingly, though, just what does this mean for the state of the British monarchy? The former Queen Alexandra would never have approved of such immorality and duplicitousness in a future Queen, and we have a hard time believing King Owen will continue supportive, now the truth is out. But more to the point, just what does this mean for the current queen?

While the palace declined comment, Queen Leslie's health has always been notoriously fragile and there's serious concern over what the ramifications of Cinderilla's licentiousness ways will mean for her. If it does provoke a royal crisis, you can bet that will be the death-knell for this royal romance. After all, nothing says 'end of the affair' quite like a family catastrophe! Watch out Mitzi – and next time you aim for a covert affair, keep it covert…or at least under the covers!

* * *

_Felicity Katz,__Pets Corner  
__Daily Star  
__January XX, 2014_

**George is NOT amused! **

(Video mash up of George being dragged and Rilla attempting to pick him up, with Rilla's voice on loop saying "pleeease Georgie")

Rilla Blythe, Prince Kenneth's girlfriend, appears to have adopted one of Londoner's more crazy habits, walking her cat on a leash. Or perhaps we should say attempting to walk her cat on a leash. Rilla's moggy was clearly having none of it!

Photos: 1. Rilla walking to the park near her flat with a cat that is struggling to escape in her arms. attempting to run off but being caught and pulled back by the leash. 3. Rilla attempting to get George to walk beside her while George sits with his back to her washing himself 4. George being dragged by the leash, hissing in protest, 5. Rilla picking up a most disgruntled George and heading back inside her flat.

* * *

_Heat Magazine  
__February 2014__  
_

**Surprise **_**Big Brother **_**Contestant Rumours**

With four months until the next _Big Brother_, rumours of contestants are starting to emerge. The latest, unexpected rumour is Chad Johnson. That's right the American who found fame in recent weeks as the man who 'tapped' royal girl friend Rilla Blythe in Mexico. As with all celebrity contestants, the production team aren't commenting. Last week, however Chad was reported saying "he was considering offers from several British television programmes". When specifically asked about _Big Brother _Chad commented, revealing perhaps another deal in the making, "Yeah, maybe, I can't remember the names of the shows. Is that the one where they make you eat weird s**t?." It seems we may be seeing much more of Rilla's ex-love! If he is on any of the popular celebrity programmes, you can guarantee the other contestants will be doing their best to squeeze every last detail of his liaison with the Mitzi out of him!

* * *

_Edith MacDonald, Royal Correspondent Twitter: EMcDHealthCorresp  
__Associated Press  
__February XX, 2014_

**Chad's Truth**

Associated Press' investigative reporters have been looking into Chad Johnson's allegations that he spent an amorous night with Rilla Blythe. The only fact we can confirm is that Chad Johnson and Rilla Blythe were in Mexico for spring break between March 16th and March 22nd, 2009. No photographs of the couple together have been uncovered and the best we've been able to ascertain from our investigations is that Chad was dancing with a red haired woman who "looked a bit like Rilla Blythe". The stipulations of Mr Johnson's contract with the media group who revealed the scoop forbids him from discussing the alleged relationship with media rivals. That of course, also means that it is impossible to verify with any certain if the relationship actually took place.

Anyone who was in Mexico for spring break between March 16th and March 22nd 2009, and has any photographs or other conclusive proof that Rilla Blythe and Chad Johnson even spoke to each other are asked to contact Associated Press .

* * *

_Transcript from Channel XX's Morning Programme "__Good Morning UK"  
__January XX. 2014_

Presenter 1 (to camera):" Looks like Rilla Blythe is quite the party girl! Pity, I was starting to like her, she won't be able to marry into the Royal Family now."

Presenter 2, looking with disgust at her co-host: "And why would that be?"

Presenter 1: "Well, because she's not a.. you know (whispers) virgin."

Presenter 2: "Neither is the Prince! Remember that story from a few years back about that girl he hooked up with at the night club! And there's never been any suggestion that his relationships with previous girlfriends were celibate!"

Presenter 1 "Well, he's the future King he can do what he wants. She needs to be pure."

Presenter 2: "You are so antiquated. And full of double standards. You were outraged last year when papers reported on your" she makes air quotes as she says, "alleged affair with that bimbo model, and yet you're raking over the details of Rilla's relationships as if your very life depended on it. Give the girl a break! She wasn't seeing Prince Ken at the time, it appears she wasn't seeing anybody. She can sleep with who she wants to. The only" she makes air quotes as she says the next word, "law it breaks is the double standards of self righteous people like you."

Presenter 1 opens his mouth to reply

Presenter 2: "Looks like we're out of time, over to Fiona, is that weather front still threatening?"

Weather Presenter: "It certainly is, but looks like it's going to be nothing compared to the lashing you just delivered…. "

* * *

_Teresa Travers, Twitter; TraversDailyMirror  
Daily Mirror,  
__February XX, 2014_

**The Madness of King Kenneth?**

Rilla Blythe has been revealed as a young woman who enjoys an active and varied sex life. While much of the media has focused on her various lovers, the key question has not been asked. Is she safe and is she putting our future king at risk? In his two-hour long interview Chad Johnson described in intimate detail the antics he and the Prince's girlfriend got up to in Mexico. Not once did he describe them using a condom.

Sexually transmitted diseases are not something to be taken lightly. The AIDS epidemic is thankfully on the decline, but the promiscuous are still vulnerable. Venereal diseases left untreated could result in infertility or even madness, threatening the future of our Royal family.

The true madness, however, is that Prince Kenneth continues to associate with this dangerous woman. Before their relationship continues, it is in the public interest that Ms Blythe submit herself to her local GP for a full sexual health screening and the results published so we can all be assured of the future of our beloved monarchy.

* * *

_Veronica Jenkins, Op-Ed, Twitter:VeraJenGuard  
__The Guardian  
__February XX, 2014__  
_

**Editorial: Women will only truly have equality when they are sexually equal**

There are many who think women in Britain have equal rights, but when our sexual choices are treated differently to men, it's clear this is not the case.

British woman's rights have come a long way since 1918 when we first received the vote. In fact, at that time only women over 30 received the vote, it took another ten years until 1928 for women to gain equal voting rights with men. Since then equality has come one piece at a time. In 1948, the National Health Service gave free access to healthcare to everyone (previously this was only available to the insured who were usually men). In 1956 legal, reforms meant that woman teachers and civil servants received equal pay to their male counterparts. In 1958 the Life Peerage Act entitled women to sit in the House of Lords for the first time, twenty one years later in 1979 Britain had its first female Prime Minister and four years after that in 1983 we had our first female London Lord Mayor. Other rights happened surprisingly recently. It was only in 1964 that the Woman's Property Act entitled a woman to keep half of any savings she has made from the allowances she was given by her husband; the Equal Opportunities Commission came into effect as recently as 1976 to oversee the Equal Pay Act and Sex Discrimination Act; and it was only at the close of the twentieth century in 1994 that rape in marriage was made a crime.

Twenty years later we might think we have come a long way, but when an everyday girl can have her sexual choices publicly vilified simply because she is dating someone in the public eye, it's clear we still have a long way to go.

Tramp, Party-Girl, Easy, Anybody's, Up-For-It, and Shagalicious are some of the nicer terms being used to describe Rilla Blythe in the headlines this week. Her alleged lover, Chad Johnson gets the moniker of Stud, Don Juan, Romeo, Charmer, Lady-killer and Heartbreaker. What is celebrated in men is reviled in women, and why? Because female power scares our patriarchal society, so much so that they attack women at every opportunity they get.

Rilla Blythe is an ordinary person. And yet, the media have decided she is worthy of having her life torn apart, picked over and every decision jumped upon for criticism. Last month there were protests in the Ukraine that could lead to revolution; Islamic State took control of Falluja; and a bombing in Russia is raising questions on the safety of the upcoming Sochi Winterr Olympics. Despite this, the tabloids headlines and their first five internal pages all featured stories and photographs of Rilla Blythe and her alleged relationship with Chad Johnson.

Enough. It's time we stopped this high school bullying and focused on events that really matter in the world. If Britain wants to be a modern society it is time we treated everyone equally regardless of gender.

Whatever happened in Mexico, the shame does not lie with Rilla Blythe. It sits firmly on the shoulders of every journalist who tears her down, every newspaper that prints such trash, and every person who reads it.


	38. Oh Canada!

_Poor Rilla's had a tough week. Before we get to see some of those headlines, we ahve a guest journalist all the way from Canada...none other than the talented TinaLouise88. We love her addition to our journalistic roster, and hope you do too. Alinya & McFishie_

* * *

_CBC Canadian News for Canadians  
__Lilianne Britton, Twitter: CPC-Lilianne  
__February XX, 2014_

**Young Women of Canada are standing up for Equality.**

What started off as a small discussion in a classroom in Winnipeg Manitoba is now a nationwide movement. Young women are joining together to fight the war on the double standards that women face.

What began as an innocent discussion in social studies for the grade 11 students at Kelvin High School about the media circus that faces our Miss Blythe in London, has grown into a movement. A movement that has women standing up the blatant sexism that has turned Miss Blythe's world upside down.

It began at Christmas, when an ex lover came out of the woodwork that sent Rilla Blythe into a whirlwind of media frenzy. While the media has had mixed reviews on Miss Blythe's past, majority of them are negative

The media was shaming Rilla for her sexual past. A trend that despite it being 2014 is still a prevalent in today's culture. Instagram posts, Snapchat rants spread over the high schools in Winnipeg, spreading province to province. Social media spreading their message as they fight the injustice they face every day.

"It's insane that in this day and age, us girls still have to deal with the sexism. If they're not policing our outfits, they are criticizing our choices. Our relationships are gossiped about, whispered about in locker rooms." Laurel Macdonald tells us, a grade 11 student Kelvin High school. "If we don't date, we're mocked or pitied. If we date but hold moral standards, we're called prudes. If we decide to have a sexual relationship with someone, then we are sluts. There is no situation that we can win at."

"Nothing has changed from our parents time in high school. Girls are constantly shamed for the things the guys are high fived for." Zoe Campbell, a grade 10 student at Kelvin High school tells us.

"What message is it sending to our fellow classmates? That they can take and spread intimate photos of people without any repercussions?" asked Brooklyn Kerr, a fellow student

"I sometimes see her sister around the city( Winnipeg), sometimes I just want to tell her that we're on Rilla's side, that she has people behind her. I don't, because I don't want to invade her privacy. But I can only assume that she knows by now." added Brooklyn.r

**_A new revolution?_**

Across the country, young women are shouting from the rooftops, in support of Rilla Blythe. Gatherings andassemblies about how sexism effects to mental health, led by students, are popping up within schools. Today in a private school in Toronto, young women spoke about their experiences, followed by research of today's facts.

_How sexism affects your life, your work and you metal well-being._

Did you know that:

Young women aged 16-30 who experience sexism were over 5 times more likely to have clinical depression than young women who had not had this experience, compared to their older counterparts who are only 2.4 times likely to have depression

Sexism for a long time was disregarded so women may have felt their feelings were also disregarded or not handled accordingly.

Women aged 16-30 experience greater rates of sexism than those aged 31-93 at school or work (13.7 percent vs 10.8 percent), on public transport (42.2 percent vs 38.1 percent), in taxis (20.5 percent vs 13.6 percent) and outside on the street (81.9 percent vs 74.8 percent).

Young women aged 16-24 are more likely to experience street harassment compared to 25-30 year olds (84.2 percent vs 79.1 percent), and the street is the most common setting where sexism is reported.

**The silence is deafening**

It was afternoon when the photographs of Miss Rilla private residence in stages of undress taken from various windows. Phone chiming with the latest news. Hushed voices as they all stared in disbelief, rumbling of the unfairness.

**Total disregard to her identity and person. A direct violation of privacy that would make anyone shiver from the injustice.**

This summit turned out was about much more than sexism. The social injustice, the blatant disregard of personal privacy.

One voice spoke up, and then another. Stories of similar nature that were steeped in revenge and bitterness. The sinking sadness that accompanies these events that you cannot control. The lossof your own self of person in these times.

One young woman brought it full circle,

"If the tables were turned. If Princess Persis was dating a common boy they wouldn't be using long lens camera's trying to get nude photos of him. It's deplorable, because Rilla is a woman, a young woman they think they can invade her privacy because she's a woman. Just because she's dating a prince, doesn't mean she asked for this. If Rilla was a man, they wouldn't stalk her and do these despicable things."

_"__This isn__'__t going away."_

**_Voices of young Canadian women._**

"Sometimes it seems like no one has her back, and one day we decided we would have her back. Now we have it more then ever. "

"Can you imagine having the whole world talk about your past relationships and hook ups? I see girls barely able to walk down the hall with their heads held high from rumours. How is this healthy?

"Women have sex. We like sex! We should not be ashamed of our sexuality!"

"Rilla is someone who all of us girls can look up. She's smart, and appears to be a kind and good person. We want her to know that we stand behind her. We are Team Rilla! Because no one should be allowed to judge your past relationship, no one should be able to go on television and spill private things for fifteen minutes of fame. No one should be able to post private photos without your consent. "

Adults always tell us if we want to make a change, we have to be the change. So we are standing up for Rilla, for ourselves. For all the social injustices that women go through! Something needs to give, something needs to change!"

"Adults don't always realize how frightening it can be to be a teenager in this time of social media. How it can used to retaliate, hurt and harm us. One photo to the boyfriend could be sent around the locker room. To have photo's taken of you without your knowledge in such a fragile setting. It's crossing lines of consent and heartbreaking."

**Update February XX 2014 ****18:36**

Sources say that the Palace jumped in to help Miss Blythe who was caught in frightening mob of Paparazzi this afternoon after the photos were posted.

While sources say that the Royal family was caught off guard with the events of today, They are willing to reassess the situation. One can only hope that the Palace moves towards positive outlook with regard to Miss Blythe's safety.


	39. Headlines

_The press has managed to brew up a spectacular tempest in the royal teapot as everything comes to a head in Kslchen's Twist of Fate. All the press is saying the same thing, mostly in picture-stories, so we pulled a sample for you. Once again, we haven't accredited bylines, but this selection derives variously from The Sun (Andrew Rosemont), The Daily Mail (Jordon Montgomery, Royal Correspondent), and Heat, with the occasional scathing contribution from one Irene Howard of The Shoreline Beacon, Glen St Mary._

**Cinderilla is all slippers, no knickers!  
**[Grainy shot of Rilla in bathrobe and slippers at her kitchen window. She is making up a late-night mug of something indeterminate.]

**Undercover Barbie  
**[Long-lens shot of Rilla cleaning flat in comfortable jogging bottoms and tank-top.]

**Cinderilla's strip-tease  
**[Blurry photograph of Rilla pulling a t-shirt over her head. Presumably before getting ready for bed.]**  
**

**Rilla's royal unveiling  
**'The same blurry photograph as above, now in the hands of different newsroom.]

**Cinderilla reveals all  
**[Fuzzy, long-lens shot of Rilla stepping into bathrobe and out of her shower. Picture quality very poor; picture still above the fold.]

**Rilla's raunchy knickers  
**[Pictured; Rilla in lacey camisole dressing for an evening out.]

**Ken's Royal Mountie  
**[It's the return of the lacey camisole and knickers as post-shower, Rilla sits on the edge of her bed and changes into pyjamas.]

**Prince shunned while pussy stroked  
**[Pictured; A pyjama-clad Rilla cuddles George in Croydon bedroom]

* * *

_And, building on the fire storm we have this additional piece of speculation from The Sun_

_Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspndent. Twitter Rosemont_Sun  
__The Sun_

**_EXCLUSIVE: Puppet Master Rilla Staged Photographs_**

It has been exclusively revealed to The Sun, that Rilla Blythe may have staged the recent lingerie shots that were published as paparazzi snaps.

Expert analysis of the photographs show that in the each of the snaps Rilla Blythe is either smiling coyly, standing seductively and even in one instance staring directly into the camera lens with a 'come hither' look. These experts hypothesised that shots such as these could have only been achieved** if Rilla Blythe had known the photos were being taken. **The techniques used, such as long lens cameras, and grainy film, they added, were a clever ploy to make them look like paparazzi snaps, in an ill-considered attempt to garner public sympathy.

"I've been watching her flat for several weeks," one reporter who preferred not to be named commented, "it was a standing joke that the curtains were only open when she wasn't in the flat, and closed when she was home. She must have opened them specifically for these photographs to be taken," he speculated.

Buckingham Palace's statement asking for her privacy to be respected clearly shows that they, like the rest of Britain, have been hoodwinked by this Canadian media-tart.

The Sun's own fashion editor, Amy Amhurst, commented that in Rilla was seen wearing matching lacy camisole and knickers. "While most girls have matching sets for that special occasion, for every Rilla's to be wearing these while her boyfriend is away, she clearly was dressing for the photo shoot."

There had been calls for the police to investigate if these photographs constituted an invasion of privacy. The Sun believes this should be a full investigation to uncover not only who took the photographs but Rilla Blythe's involvement in orchestrating the event.

* * *

_Not all the coverage has been negative, here's jus tone of the many letters that flooded in from the public, supplied by our guest writer DW.618_

_Oxford Mail  
__Letters to the Editor  
__XX February 2014__  
_

**Thank You for Protecting Someone's Else's Child When Needed****  
**

Being a parent means being a protector...and, as our children grow older, it also means holding ourselves back from being that protector so that our children can grow and mature into independent adults. As a parent of university-aged children, I realise that my primary role now is no longer as a protector. It is my job to be a behind-the-scenes supporter...until the occasional crises arise when my sons or daughters need more from me. Those rare opportunities to intervene and assist my children warm my heart and make me pleased to, once again, return to my role as protector.

You may wonder why I'm writing about this today. Like many of you, I've been aware of the increasing harassment that Prince Kenneth's girlfriend, Rilla Blythe, has been encountering from the media. It must greatly pain her parents to remain in the background while their daughter endures these attacks of her character and her privacy. Even if she wanted to have her parents return to their Protector roles and run interference for her...let's face it...what good would they truly be able to do against a Goliath the size of the international press? So it was a great joy to me to realize that another set of parents has stepped up in a Protector role for Rilla...and this set comes with their own security officers!

(Photo caption # 1 - King Owen's head of security was recently seen directing several royal protection officers to shepherd Rilla through an intense crowd of reporters outside a clothing store)

(Photo caption #2 - the recent official statement from Buckingham Palace)

While she attended Oxford with Prince Ken, Rilla had the opportunity to grow both as an independent adult and as the protected girlfriend of the prince in a blooming relationship. However, Prince Ken's departure for extended military training in Scotland has left Rilla in a vulnerable situation - physically and (quite probably) emotionally - as she contends with constant attention by the paparazzi.

So from me (and likely from Anne and Gilbert Blythe and from countless other parents of young adults), I say "thank you, King Owen and Queen Leslie" for stepping in to be the protectors of someone else's daughter in her time of need.

(Name and address supplied)

_Big thanks to our guest contributer DW.618. _


	40. All the King's Horses

_From the desk of Angus Montcrief, Twitter: AMArchCorresp  
__The Evening Times  
__March 2014_

**Rilla gets the Royal Treatment**

The King and the Prince of Wales have taken the unprecedented step of asking the press to be respectful of Rilla Blythe's privacy.

Photographers have besieged Ms Blythe since her relationship with the heir to the throne became public. When she lived in New York, her daily walk home included running the gauntlet of photographers and journalists. Something that was repeated and amplified since her move to Croydon.

No one with a modicum of sense would disagree that the "Peeping Tom" photos of Ms Blythe in various stages of undress were intrusive and unwarranted (not to mention possibly illegal). The Palace's reaction, however, is what is really of interest.

_**All the King's Horses**_

When the press forced Ms Blythe to barricade herself into clothing store, it wasn't private security that rescued her; It was a combined force of the King's and the Prince of Wales' personal security detail that came to her rescue, lead by the King's head of security.

The ensuing statement, asking the press to respect her privacy is the first official statement we have regarding Ms Blythe's status.

Her relationship with Prince Kenneth has been the world's worst kept secret for several years now. He has visited her family, she has met the King, she was included to the side of official photographs shared at Christmas, and of course was officially Prince Kenneth's "flat mate" during their time at Oxford. This statement, however, for the first time officially acknowledges that she is indeed the Prince of Wales' girlfriend.

Why is this significant? It is the first time ANYONE has been officially recognised as the Prince's girl friend. Ms Blythe has for some time been the front-runner in women the press have linked the Prince to (his childhood friend Lady Henrietta de Duras having been assured to be just a good friends and Lady Toppy Wentworth- Watson becoming engaged to Sir Hew home of Wedderburn, 16th baronet).

In royal language, this statement is as good as an announcement that while they are not engaged, the Prince does indeed intend to take the Canadian as his bride one day. As such, one wonders if this will reduce or increase the public interest in Rilla Blythe.

Ms Blythe has not been seen publicly since the lingerie photographs were printed and is rumoured to be staying at Buckingham Palace. One wonders if this horrific invasion of the press is just the push the Prince needed to physically bring Ms Blythe into his inner circle. And if we should keep our calendars free for a spring or summer wedding.


	41. An Appreciated Lesson

_This week's contribution comes from the lovely TinaLouise88. _

* * *

_CBC Canadian News for Canadians_

_Lilianne Brittonn Twitter: CBC-Lillianne_

_June 3rd, 2013_

**Special Thanks For Kelvin High School**

The social studies class who started a movement about sexism, women's rights and the effects of social media were given the surprise of their life when their teacher, Mrs. Robinson, woke up to an email from Miss Blythe herself. Mrs Robinson commented, that she didn't even believe it was real, and admitted she emailed back to confirm authenticity of the email. 'The last thing I needed was a prank on my hands!,'she said.

In the letter, Miss Blythe thanked the girls for all their support and said how proud she is that they are standing up for the social injustices in their lives. ( Miss Blythe Thank you, Photo Left, From Students Instagram. Email blacked out, and Dated April 29th, 2013)

What the students didn't know was that one surprise would be turning into another. Diana Blythe, the older sister of Miss Blythe, arranged a private meeting with the young women at Kelvin High School,to say thank you for standing up for the cause, and supporting her sister.

Not much is known about the meeting, that was captured by rare photos of Diana Blythe with the young women within their school sitting around the tables talking about the cause. Taken by their teacher, the photo was shared later that month by the school division on Facebook. The photos soon spread and were uploaded to popular social media apps.

When asked they kept the letter and visit private for so long, the class responded that they were allowed to share the photos but they wanted to keep it private for a few weeks, hoping that it would cause less of interruption to the sisters lives.

(Photos underneath)

Miss Diana Blythe is a microbiologist working with the National Microbiology Lab in Winnipeg Mb which is part of the Public Health Agency of Canada.

**A Princess with a Cause?**

Is this small act of kindness, a snapshot for the future? Stepping stones that will reveal what sort of charities, patronages that Miss Blythe may go into should she marry into the royal family.

The royal family, are known to have a strict rule about public endorsements. They never side with politics or show bias towards a movement. Patronages generally are linked with personal passions, child hunger, mental health, education, arts and theatre.

Miss Blythe is a perfect candidate to support charities focusing on the issues women face today. Not only is she a millennial, a woman and a daughter of prolific parents, but her own treatment in the media gives her unique insight into the pressures of societal criticism.

As for Miss Blythe, things are looking up. An official statement from the Office of the King and Queen and another from the Prince of Wales himself appeared asking for the press to give Miss Blythe privacy. It came after a terrifying afternoon where they cornered her, refusing to allow her to leave a London shop that she was browsing in. It was a message that showed just how much integrated Miss Blythe has become in the Royal Family. This was further proven when it appeared she was living at Kensington Palace for couple of weeks ,where Princess Persis has also been also in residence. The two young women are said to be good friend and one can only imagine the sleepovers that a Princess can pull off. Other sources say, Miss Blythe is also having dinner and tea regularly with the family including the Queen.

Lately, Miss Blythe has been spotted coming and going from South Kensington. It is now believed that she is renting a renovated coach house (you know those old Victorian garages in alley ways in historic parts of Toronto), commonly known as a Mews houses in England. The apartment that belongs to the Earl of Faversham, who's daughter Lady Henrietta is good friends with Miss Blythe after being introduced by the Prince of Wales. (Photograph of the two girls having tea.) Lady Henrietta De Duras was once linked to Prince Kenneth before meeting Miss Blythe, it appears there are no hard feelings.


	42. Cinderilla Swaps Prince

_Hello! Life sometimes gets in the way of writing, and sometimes I just don't prioritize well, but here I am with a selection of the newspaper coverage from the last few chapters of Twist of Fate. As always, I am deeply grateful for Kslchen for letting me play in this wonderful world she created, and always encouraging me to write._

* * *

_Heat Magazine  
__XX April 2014__  
_

**Watching the Sunset**

(Photo montage of Rilla, Joy, Nan and Di at various London tourist sites)

Twitter and Instagram went crazy last week as tourists snapped and posted photos of Rilla Blythe out-and-about in London with her sisters Joy Raine, Nan Blythe and Diana Blythe.

"It was like they were following the same itinerary as we were, I can't believe they're here," one tourist from Toronto, Canada said "we never see them at home, but we visit London and they are everywhere!"

Our favourite comment, however come from Bill Wolf, a regular at Kew's City Barge pub, where the girls were snapped enjoying lunch in the sun.

"Watching the four sisters, was like watching the sunset," said Bill, "as the sun hit their Titian locks, it highlighted all the shades of orange and red."

Rilla Blythe's sister were said to be visiting her in London for a few weeks. Post your photos with the hashtag #almostroyal and we'll print the best of them in future editions.

* * *

_Heat Magazine  
__Xxx July 2014_

**The Future Royal Family?**

Visitors to Kensington Palace were surprised by a glimpse of the future as Rilla Blythe and two young children who almost looked like they were her own, appeared into the main ballroom at Kensington Palace. The identity of the children became clear when they were heard questioning 'Aunt Rilla' about hawks in one painting.

(Full face photo of Rilla pointing to something in a painting, her body shielding the face of the two children she's with)

"I was visiting Kensington Palace when Rilla Blythe and the children suddenly appeared, " said Elaine Samuels, an Australian visiting London this summer , "it felt like I was getting a glimpse of what the royal family will be like in the future, she's a natural with the children, she's going to make a marvellous Royal mother someday."

_Royal Seal of Approval_

As if that wasn't enough, His Royal Highness, The Prince of Wales, joined them sometime later. And if anyone was in doubt as to their relationship, he was seen dropping a lingering kiss on Rilla's lips, leaving us in no doubt about how close these two are.

(photo of Ken kissing Rilla at Kensington Palace)

_Royal Wedding?_

These glimpses of what the future of the royal family _could _ look like, has speculation buzzing about when these two will make it official. Which leads to the question….just what is stopping the Prince popping the question?

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
__The Daily Mail  
__XX August 2014_

**All in Family: Cinderilla swaps prince**

(grainy photo of Rilla with Teddy in swimwear on beach, laughing)

Much has been speculated if Rilla Blythe will continue to pursue her royal agenda, following "lingerie-gate", as the photos of her in her underwear have come to be known. Some commentators tipping she would run home, lace covered tail between her legs, but no, this Mata Hari seems to have increased her chances of marrying into the royal family by seducing the King-in-waiting's younger brother.

(photo of Rilla sunning herself in what could be a provocative positive while Teddy looks at her)

_Princess Hopeful Reveals All_

The Duke of Kendal could not keep his eyes off Rilla Blythe as she cavorted alone with him on a private beach in an itsy bitsy teenie weenie blue polka-dot bikini, that left even less to the imagination than lingerie-gate. One can only imagine what they were doing when they both ducked behind a convenient group of magnolia trees, not to be seen again for several minutes.

The Prince of Wales has been doing his royal duty attending commemorative events. There had been questions in the press as to why the Duke of Kendal wasn't similarly engaged, but we can now see that he took it as the perfect opportunity to succumb to Rilla Blythe's charms.

It is widely known that the royal brothers have never been close. This betrayal of Miss Blythe with the Princes' own brother is unlikely to lead to brotherly affections. King Owen and Queen Leslie are said to be beside themselves with worry about the situation. The Prince of Wales, long besotted with the red-haired Canadian, insists of inviting her to the various family home and when called away on duty is forced to leave her with his brother, little realising that for girls like Rilla it's any royal port in a storm.

Photographs of their sandy seduction can be seen on pages 3,4,5,6, 7 and 8.

**Next week**: See photos of Rilla Blythe and the Princess Royal taken on the same beach the next day. Is Raunchy Rilla also indulging in some Sappho seduction? Judge for yourselves!

* * *

Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspondent, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun  
The Sun  
XX August 2014

**Royal Family Smooth Sailing**

Despite recent media coverage of Royal rifts, due to the fickly passions of Rilla Blythe, the entire royal family took to the high seas last week .

(grainy photo of the royals on a public wharf heading towards the royal yacht)

Rilla Blythe, known for her love of skimpy, revealing swimwear opted on this occasion to wear shorts and a collared t-shirt, showing that even the Canadian interloper knows not to flaunt her assets in front of the King.

The Royal family and their non-royal Canadian guest were seen to be laughing as they headed towards the Royal Yacht, and were still in high spirits five hours later when they returned at the end of the day.

Queen Leslie and Rilla Blythe were seen to be in deep conversations as they walked down the gangway, towards the awaiting cars. Queen Leslie then entered the first vehicle with King Owen and the Duke of Kendal while after what looked like a moment's hesitation Miss Blythe opted to join the Prince of Wales and the Princess Royal in the second vehicle. Was Queen Leslie advising Rilla Blythe to choose a brother and stick with him? It seemed to be a decision that pleased the Prince of Wales, who beamed at the Canadian as she saunted towards him.

_Royal Wedding?_

If Rilla Blythe has indeed made her choice, all we can do now is await the announcement of a Royal Wedding. It has been said that her recent work experience for an events company specialising in weddings for the rich and famous has given her a taste for what to expect and no doubt she will be hoping to secure London's best venues – and her prince – before the year is out.


	43. Off with their heads!

_ITV Live TV Special_

_XX August 2014_

_**I'm a Celebrity Contestant Special**_

(Exert from interviews with contestants who have just gone into the jungle)

**Chad XXX**

Presenter: Our fourth contestant is Chad Johnson! Chad has risen to fame fast, following his revelation of his raunchy weekend with Rilla Blythe, the Prince of Wales' girlfriend. In the last year he has been a contestant on Big Brother, secured a lucrative advertising contract with Manskin Condoms, and has been seen on the covers of glossy magazines around the world.

Before Chad went into the jungle, we asked him about how suitable he thinks he is for that environment:

ITV: What is your secret survival skills do you have that you think will help you in the jungle?

Chad: I'm loveable.

ITV: Loveable? You think that will help you in the jungle?

C: True Dat! I'll keep everyone cheerful.

ITV: Okay…..what do you think of your fellow contestants?

C: I'm stoked with all the hot babes. I'm sooo going to score! Ladies love the Chad!

ITV: Well, I guess that's how we all got to know you, from your liaison with Rilla Blythe. What do you think of the recent photos of Rilla Blythe,first in her lingerie then in the polka dot bikini?

ITV: She's gotten fat.

ITV: You think she's fat?

C: Yep! She's certainly has more to hang on to than she did when I knew her, especially up top. Suits her though. A man likes to have something to grap hold of when he's…

ITV: (cutting off Chad).and what do you make of her allegedly relationship with the Prince of Wales' brother?  
C: allegedly?

ITV (quietly and quickly) it means we have no proof its true, but we think it might be.

C: Oh right, yeah she would sure do that. She was all over me like honey on a biscuit. Lucky Teddy too I say, she was quite the…

ITV: Okay Chad I think we'll leave it there….

* * *

_Heat Magazine_  
_XX September 2014_

**Prince's Girlfriend moves …but to who?**

(photo of Rilla and Mark standing close together and laughing)

Rilla Blythe, sometimes girlfriend to His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales has been seen in photographs close to Mark Chessington-Smythe at the recent wedding Princess Katherine of Hereford.

While official photographs only show the wedding party we have been able to _exclusively _acquire some snaps taken by those who were there on the day.

Speculation has been rife in the past few weeks that her relationship with the Prince of Wales has ended. Some papers have alleged that she wasn't up to the pressure of a royal relationship, while others have speculated that she is, just not with the Prince of Wales. In addition, after spending the wedding Princess Katherine of Hereford. with Mark Chessington-Smythe, the rumour mill is now abuzz with the idea shes's moved onto the Princes' closest friends.

(Photo of Ken, in full military uniform, Teddy, at his graduation and Mark taken when he was walking down Oxford Street)

Let's compare her options: The Prince of Wales is certainly one of the UK's, no the world's most eligible bachelors, but he does come with all the restrictions of a royal life. The Duke of Kendal is every bit as handsome as his brother (some say more so), and a better age for the Canadian, but would Rilla Blythe be happy watching so closely as someone else becomes queen, a role she has been said to covet? Mark, Chessington-Smythe is a worthy catch himself, with a sizeable income and all that family money he will one day inherit, you wouldn't want for much. Who would you choose?

* * *

_James Rillington, Royal Correspndent_  
_The Express Twitter: RillosRoyalNews_  
_XX September_

**Off with their heads!**

Our investigative reporters have got to the bottom of flower-gate. You'll recall that visitors to Sandringham have questioned what happened to the usual floral displays this year, they just aren't as, well floral. It turns out that, like so many royal issues these days, that Rilla Blythe is at the heart of the problem. Rilla, it seems didn't like the flowers that Princess Katherine of Hereford had arranged at St Mary Magdalene Church for her wedding in August and took it upon herself to order the Sandringham gardeners to cut down the queen's favourite blooms to supplement what was in the church.

Annie Ray, who was visiting friends who live in the same village as the church commented "I heard that Rilla Blythe was yelling at the women who decorated the church, demanding they add more blooms." Annie later confirmed that she wasn't there at the time, and didn't hear the conversation but assured us that "I heard this from a friend at the pub, I'm sure every word of it is true."

Princess Katherine is said to have been BESIDE HERSELF WITH DISTRESS when her carefully chosen floral theme of white and yellow blooms was 'upgraded' to a full mix of colours WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE. _Country Gardens, _Sandringham's premier florist who is reported to have been engaged to create the floral displays for Princess Katherine's special day refused to comment on the wedding arrangement, but did say that they would NEVER choose something so bright and colourful for a formal wedding.

The flowers at Sandringham estate are known to be close to the heart of Queen Leslie. One can only image what she feels about her son's sometimes girlfriend choosing to have them hacked off, ruining this year's floral display.

The Royal family have declined to comment.

* * *

_Hello Magazine  
__October 2014__  
_

**Summer Weddings**

(Extract from an article that featured recent wedding photos)

**August Aspirations**

(photo of Katie in her wedding dress)

Princess Katherine of Hereford married Mr Adam Healey in August at Sandringham. This official photo from the day shows the bride in a classic white dress, with organza sleeves and covered buttons down the back.


	44. Live Cross

_A Royal Gala deserves some press coverage. This has been written by the very talented Oz Diva. Fresh off the back of completing her own story, we managed to catch her before she gets too deeply involved in her other writing work. Thanks OzDiva for this piece. And thank you Klschen for continuing to produce a world we can play in…and letting us do so._

* * *

**_Exert from BBC's Coverage of the Royal Birthdays_**

**_XXX November 2014_**

_(The BBC has had an afternoon of coverage of the Royal Birthdays with specials on the life of Queen Leslie and her charitable work, as well as the life of Prince Kenneth' and his military career. ITV has a similar event, but that has been more focused the loves of Prince Ken and questions of his duty to marry and produce an heir now that he has turned 30. We pick up the BBC's coverage after a discussion of what is likely to happen at this evening's event)._

**Live Cross**

"And here we are on London's night of nights, I'm Gary Dickieson and I'm joined tonight by my colleague Brian McKenzie. It's not often Brian is it that our Royal family celebrate in such a ritzy manner? As we all know one Royal Birthday is a cause for celebration, but when two members of the firm have significant birthdays, it behooves the Kingdom to honour them in style. This year Queen Leslie is marking her sixtieth and Prince Kenneth his thirtieth birthday. A grand gala has been planned for ages."

"No indeed not, Gary. But they're doing it in style tonight. The word around town is that all the _best people_ (said in a posh voice) have been sitting by their inboxes for weeks eagerly waiting for their invitations.

"Queen Leslie (pictured) is looking great for sixty, don't you think? She's a really stunning woman in the prime of her life and of course we all know that her son, the world's most eligible bachelor is a handsome young man."

"Not quite so young anymore, I'd say, Gary. I'm sure women all around the world are waiting for their chance."

"Now we're just going to cross to Dawn Legge outside Miss Rilla Blythe's house as I hear the door is opening shortly, is that right, Dawn?"

Shot of a nondescript gated white brick with a black limousine and driver in front.

"Yes that's right, Brian. Or at least we certainly hope so. If they don't want to be late, they'll need to be leaving soon. We've been patiently waiting for a glimpse of Miss Blythe and her parents. I think you'd have to say after what some might say was a rocky start, Miss Blythe is certainly part of the inner sanctum. If inviting her parents over from Canada for this evening's celebrations is anything to go by. I doubt The King would invite just any girlfriend's parents to such an important event."

"And here they come, through the gate we can just see Dr Blythe in dapper tuxedo as they call them in North America. (Footage of Gilbert exiting in a black coat.) His buttonhole is a white gardenia, very nice. And behind him is his wife Dr Blythe. Now she is a fine figure of a woman. They breed them well in the dominion if she is anything to go by. We can see that Mm-Dr Blythe is wearing a floor length cream dress which looks as if it's made from raw silk and if I'm not mistaken her shoes and clutch are matching forest green which contrast brilliantly with her fiery red hair. Her hair is brushed into a up do, and the whole lot is complemented with a string of pearls." Brief shot of Anne exiting the house and waiting by the door of the car before she climbs in, sitting first and then swivelling her green heels in last.

"And let's not forget the girl of hour, young Rilla Blythe. I can't see much because as you can see she is wearing a forest green coat over her dress. It makes me wonder if the Blythe women collaborated with their colours tonight, Rilla's coat matches her mother's clutch and shoes perfectly. Peeking under her coat I think I can see a splash of black or no dark purple perhaps? It looks like it might also be silk though unlike her mother it doesn't look raw, her hem line is too swishy. Oh I wish I could see it all. Her hair matches the coat perfectly, it's not as fiery as her mother's but it is still a gorgeous colour and those long glossy waves must surely have merited hours in a salon today. I can see a sparkle in her hair, perhaps a comb with rhinestones? Her entire outfit is completed by white opera gloves which I must say are a classy touch. And look they're all bundled into the limousine, the ladies in the back and Rilla's father in the front. Give us a wave love, but no they're off. The traffic is terrible tonight, I dare say if you're lucky you'll catch a glimpse of them on the way tonight.

From outside Miss Blythe's home it's back to you in the studio, Brian."

"Thanks for that Dawn. Considering the cars are disgorging their passengers behind the closed gates of Buckingham Palace I dare say you got the best view of Rilla and her parents tonight."

_Late News Update:_

That was Dawn Legge's piece that we played earlier tonight Brian, I believe we now have more information on that sparkle in her hair?

Yes Gary, we can zoom in on it now you can see that it's definitely not rhinestones….

(camera zooms into a slightly blurry shot of Rilla's hair decoration)

….it is an exquisitely set rose and rose bud on a stem, all set in diamonds.

I believe you have some more information Brian?

Yes, Gary, our team has done some research. We think this is a piece by Faberge that originally belonged to the Empress Alexandra of Russia….

That would be the Price of Wales' great, great grandmother if I'm not mistaken Brian?

You know your royal family Brian!, which leaves me with just one question.

What would that be Gary?

If Miss Blythe is wearing family sparkles in her hair, how long will it be until she's wearing them on her left hand?


	45. The Rilla (Christmas) Effect

_I'm blessed with another guest contributor. Today's update is courtesy of the talented and lovely DW618. Thank you DW and thank you Kslchen for letting us extend your By A Simple Twist of Fate universe!_

* * *

_Julie Lette  
__Economic Correspondent  
__The Evening Standard  
__Twitter: Lette_Standard  
__XXX January 2015_

**The Royal Influence Is Seen In Christmas Sales**

As expected for this 2014 Christmas season, the iPhone 6, loom band bracelet kits, and Maze Runner movie merchandise topped the UK's "most desired" gift lists. However, there were a few surprise additions to many wish lists…thanks to the popularity of the Royal Family.

Horses: From t-shirts to play figurines to actual ponies, all things related to horses gained in popularity after the silver medal finish of Princess Persis and the UK team at the World Equestrian Games in August/September.

Rubies: Sales of this often-underappreciated gemstone surged in December after it was revealed that Queen Leslie received several gorgeous ruby jewelry pieces for her 60th birthday in November.

Diamond-inspired brooches and hair ornaments: When Prince Kenneth's girlfriend, Rilla Blythe, was seen at the royal birthday gala in November with a Faberge diamond brooch in the shape of a rose (belonging originally to Empress Alexandra of Russia, nonetheless!) in her hair, interest surged in similar hair ornaments. Whether made with real diamonds or common glittery rhinestones, brooches and hair clips quickly became the "impossible to find" Christmas present this year.

* * *

_Carrie Grunwerg  
__Business Editor  
__Daily Mail  
__Twitter GrungwegDM  
__XXX January 2015_

**The "Rilla Effect" Hits Florists**

After the now-famous video appeared of Rilla Blythe effortlessly creating a floral wreath for a young admirer while en route to church in Canada on Christmas morning, local UK florists have been selling fresh floral crowns by the dozens. "A day hasn't gone by since Christmas without getting frequent calls from people looking to buy a 'princess flower crown' for someone," says Josie Smith,(owner of Josie's Posies in Chelsea. "Everyone from little girls to teens…and even some mums and grandmums seem to want to buy a floral crown like the one Rilla made for that little girl. I've always loved seeing flowers in women's hair…I just never assumed I would be making so many wreaths in January! As a florist, I'm grateful that this is trending now while everyone's gardens are still dormant…January is usually a slow season for me."

* * *

_The Sun  
__Krissy's Christmas Craft  
__Twitter: KraftyKrissy  
__XX January 2015_

**Instructions: How to make a floral crown with fresh flowers**

(double page spread accompanied by pictures of each step)

If you want to make your own floral crown like this one that Rilla Blythe recently made while on her holiday in Canada (see photo of Rilla placing flower crown on a young girl's head), here are some basic instructions:

1\. Select flowers with long, flexible stems. Remove most or all of the leaves from the stems.

2\. Hold two flowers with their heads near each other and the stem of the second laid across the stem of the first (essentially forming a "plus sign" +).

3\. Wrap the second flower's stem around the first flower's stem with the wrapped stem coming between the two flower heads.

4\. After completing that wrap, hold the remaining length of the second flower's stem in tandem with the first flower's stem.

5\. Take a third flower and hold its head near the second flower's head, laying the third flower's stem in a "plus sign" shape across the other two flowers' stems.

6\. Wrap the third flower's stem around both of the first two stems with the wrapped stem coming between the second and third flower heads.

7\. After completing that wrap, join the third stem in the bundle together with the first two stems.

8\. Continue this process until your chain of flowers becomes long enough to form a wreath.

9\. Overlap the ends of the chain of flowers to make a crown of the desired size. Use one or two more flowers to bind the ends together, wrapping the flowers into the chain in the same manner as you have been doing. Weave the stems of these "binding" flowers into the wreath.

10\. If desired, add ribbons or dangling flowers to the wreath for greater embellishment.

* * *

_I challenge readers to make their own floral crowns and send me your pictures!_


	46. Cholera

_Rochelle Grace, Royal Editor Twitter: RoyalEd_Mirror  
Daily Mirror_

_XX March 2015_

**Dancing Queen (to be)**

Rilla Blythe, girlfriend to His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales, was spotted clubbing with friends again last night (photo of Rilla getting out of a cab in a short short black skirt and high high heels. If she wasn't wearing knickers the same colour as her skirt, it would have been a very different kind of photo). It is widely known that The Prince of Wales has withdrawn from public duty for the time being to focus on preparing for when he will become King. Now that he has completed his formal studies, it is thought that he is taking the time to work closely with his father to absorb the nuances of the role he will one day assume.

(photo of Rilla inside the club with a glass of champagne in her hand)

Not so, his presumed wife-to-be. While her amour is taking his future seriously, young Miss Blythe is known to be fond of dancing with friends. Sources close to the palace have expressed concern that she has what it takes to support The Prince of Wales as he assumes more responsibility. Once source, who declined be named, commented that one of the many topics being discussed behind closed palace doors will be the suitability of the person one chooses to share a royal life.

(old photo of Rilla and Persis clubbing, taken about a year ago)

Miss Blythe's influence of some of the younger royals has already been brought into question. It now seems her future with the royal family may be questioned. If Miss Blythe wants a royal future, she may need to dance to a different tune.

* * *

_Roger Cooper, Africa Correspondent, Twitter: CoopTelegraph  
London Telegraph  
XX March 2015_

****Cholera in Uganda**

**Uganda****: Africa **_Continuing The Telegraph's deep dive on Africa, this week we focus on the work of __M__édecins Sans Frontières/ Doctors Without Borders in Uganda__. _

**"I saw 16,000 people recover from cholera"**

My husband and I volunteered to support the doctors working in Africa, in fact we bought the wedding forward so we could travel together. We've known each other since we were children, went to medical school together and thought the best way we could repay all the kindness shown to us by those who helped us through our training, was to use those skills to help someone else.

We were so excited when we arrived to be making a positive difference. Everyone we met from the support staff to the doctors were incredible, so talented, so dedicated.

We'd been there about six months when we first heard about the initial cholera cases. I remember panicking quietly for about 10 minutes before pulling myself together. We hadn't seen cholera in that part of Uganda before.

**It was one of the biggest outbreaks the world has seen.**

For three months, we worked without stopping. After the peak of the epidemic, the pressure finally eased. Other organisations received funding and were able to step in. Initially, we were alone.

Seeing people recover, quickly. Seeing they could be cured. Putting all that knowledge and training to work and seeing it make a difference in people's lives. It was the most incredible experience of my life.

Children would arrive in shock, barely breathing, severely dehydrated and emaciated. No one said it, but we hoped rather than knew that they would survive. We gave them fluids, or oral rehydration solutions and the recovery, was fast. To see a child walking, laughing, playing who a few days earlier you though wouldn't make it was ….I can't find the words to describe it.

In the space of three months, I saw 16,000 people recover from cholera. That's what kept me getting out of bed every day.

Dr Faith Meredith Blythe, _M__édecins Sans Frontières/ Doctors Without Borders _S

* * *

_People Magazine  
__April 2015__  
_

_(This article shows photos from the wedding of Samantha Tatler and Simon Uxbridge, stars of the popular soap WestEnders, interspersed with comments from the bride and group. The last paragraph refers to the organisation of the celebrations_

Sam: We hired Cracking Events, for the wedding and were blown away from the hands on service we received

Simon: (laughing) Except you weren't too happy when they had a change of staff the day before. When they 'phoned your face was thunder

Sam: Can you blame me? Changing the main contact three days before the wedding? We never did get to the bottom of why Rilla – our coordinator, couldn't be there…

Simon: But it all worked out on the day

Sam: Absolutely, I couldn't be happier, Meggie was amazing. She'd been briefed on every little detail and it went off without a hitch. In the end I couldn't be happier. Still, it would have been easier ot have the same person throughout.

_When contacted to comment Cracking Events confirmed that there had been a last minute change of in person staff, but confirmed that the same team had been on point from start to finish._

* * *

_From the desk of Jordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
Royal Correspondent, Daily Mail (Online Editions)_

**Flighty Blythes?**

(photo of Jem and Faith de-planing at Halifax Stanfield Airport)

Dr James Blythe and Dr Faith Meredith Blythe were seen arriving at Halifax Stanfield airport last week. They had previously been reported as having committed to a two years working with Doctors Without Borders. When contacted, Doctors Without Borders confirmed that doctors James and Faith Blythe had resigned from front line work for personal reasons. They declined to comment further.

It saddens this reporter that doctors who commit to two years, cut their service short after barely a year. It seems their time volunteering would barely cover the cost of training them and getting them ready to work in such extreme circumstances. While we do not know what personal circumstances lead to this decision, it points to a weakness of character and an inability to commit where required.

Dr James Blythe is the brother of Rilla Blythe – girlfriend to His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales. This isnt' the first time a Blythe has changed their mind on a whim and ducked out of a commitment. Shirley Blythe, a younger brother, left collage after having only completed a year. Such a family trait leads us to question once more if Rilla Blythe is the 'right stuff' to join the royal family. This isn't a gig one can simply quit when it is no longer convenient. Her family background leads one to question if she has the strength of character required for the role.

* * *

_Heat Magazine  
__XXX April 2015_

**The Mystery of Rilla's Handsome Brother**

_Since she started dating His Royal Highness, The Prince of Wales, column inches have been filled with every known fact about Rilla Blythe. What these articles don't do is ask the important questions, like what do we know about her handsome __**single**__ brother Walter Blythe? And why is this beautiful Blythe such a mystery?_

(photo of Walter)

With jet black hair, an alabaster brow, chiselled jaw and deep, deep brown eyes a girl could get lost in, Walter Blythe has the looks of a Victoria romantic hero. And yet his life has all he mystery of a Victorian romantic novel.

As the second son, and third child in a family of seven, you could expect that Walter would get up to all sorts of delicious mischief in his youth. We did some digging, and yet, all we uncovered was a straight A student, who preferred to frequent poetry slams to bars.

(photo of Jem in his rugby uniform at Dalhousie University)

Unlike his elder (married) brother James, who was captain of the rugby team at Dalhousie University, Walter isn't into sports (pity, we think he'd look great covered in sweat!). This didn't seem to stop him being popular with the girls ….although there didn't seem to be anyone special. We couldn't even find any stories of broken hearts, which with his smouldering good looks seems highly unusual.

We put our best research team onto finding out more about Walter, but could find little to tell us more about his character – it's as if his past was erased!. What is known is that the dreamy, romantic poet grew up to become a Russophile. His gap year was spent travelling throughout Russia, sparked a love of the architecture, the people and the language. On his return, Walter studied Russian Language and Literature at the University of Toronto, graduating with a first class degree.

Following his degree, Walter was much in demand as a translator and Russian expert, but his work now is yet another mystery. He doesn't have a linked-in profile but from photos of regularly entering an unmarked government building on Ottawa's Ogilvie Road we assume he works for the Canadian government. Though what his position is, remains as much a mystery as the man himself!

_******__ The __article draws heavily from the M__édecins Sans Frontières/ Doctors Without Borders website, in particular their work in Yemen. To quote their website further: "MSF help people worldwide where the needs is greatest, deliverying emergency medical aid to people affected by conflict, epidemics, disasters or exclusion from healthcare." They are non-profit, funded by private sources, not governments. They are neutral. The country and the story about Jem and Faith is fictional, the work of MSF is real. I encourage you to read their first hand accounts of their work, the impact they make and you were as moved by it as I was, donate what you can afford to this heroic work._


	47. Twitters View of Rilla's Charity Work

_Thanks to Alinya Aalethia for a fun afternoon brainstorming Twitter - most of these, in fact nearly all, come from her brillance!_

* * *

_Instagram Posts from Sujata, Lindsey, Jasmine and Kelly_

_Xxx April 2015_

**INSTAGRAM FEED**

**Insta Account:** Suj123

_Photo:_ Sujata having her eyeliner updated. We can see Rilla's hand and the corner of her face as she touches up the girl's make up

_Comment: _You'll never guess who gave me make up tips at #YouthCentre!

**Insta Account:** TheLinds

_Photo_: Sujata, Lindsey, Jasmine and Kelly posing with newly updated eyeliner

_Comment: _Looking good chicks!

**Insta Account:** Jassie

_Photo_: Rilla from the back, talking to Sujata, Lindsey and Kelly

_Comment: _OMG!

* * *

_Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspondent, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun  
__The Sun  
__XX May 2015__  
_

**Rilla Blythe's Pay Out**

Rilla Blythe was today awarded £400,000 against the Daily Mail for publication of photographs of her and The Duke of Kendel on a private Isle of White beach last summer.

Lawyers successfully argued that the photos, taken with a long-range lens, were an invasion of her and The Royal Family's privacy. The amount awarded was higher than is normally expected in these cases, due to the slanderous implication that she was involved in nefarious behaviour with the Duke of Kendal.

Judge Ross' final summation also singled out the journalist, Jordan Montgomery who currently writes for another publication _"These photos, and the accompanying article, are part of an increasingly concerning pattern of articles on The Royal Family in general, and Ms Blythe in particular, speculating on behaviour as if it was fact. In reviewing the facts of this case, I note that Mr Montgomery was warned over such articles when he worked in the United States of America. At this time, I remind Mr Montgomery of the libel laws that exist in The United Kingdom and caution him that should his work come to my attention again, he will be held personally responsible for what he writes." _

Ms Blythe has donated her settlement to Youth Zone, a drop in centre for thirteen to twenty one year olds based in the heart of Croydon, London.

* * *

J_ordan Montgomery, Twitter: JrdnMRoyalCorresp  
__The Daily Mail  
__Xx May 2015_

**Youth Centre Receives (Almost) Royal Seal of Approval**

(photo of Rilla in jeans and a short jacket arriving at Youth Zone in Croydon)

Croydon's Youth Zone received an unexpected boost when Rilla Blythe donated her recent privacy settlement to the struggling organisation.

Joe King, spokesperson for the centred commented "We had no idea Ms Blythe was considering donating funds to us. Her unexpected generosity, however, will ensure that the centre is able to stay open for the foreseeable future."

**Circle of Silence**

That's not all the Prince Of Wales' girlfriend has given to the centre. Rilla has been seen arriving at the centre to help out several times in the last month. When pressed, Mr King further commented, "we have a number of regular volunteers, I understand Rilla Blyhte has helped out on the odd occasion."

(photo of a group of girls outside the youth centre)

Even those who attend the centre, remained tight lipped about the would-be-princess. We asked a group of girls who were seen leaving a few minutes after Rilla Blythe to ask what it was like having her volunteer.

"All the volunteers are great," one commented, "We really love hanging out at the centre."

"Its great that it they've been able to update the equipment" another added "They've had more funding recently and its made a huge difference!"

As more questions about Rilla Blythe were either dodged or avoided one wonders if Media Training is among the courses the centre offers.

* * *

**Twitter Updates**

_A snapshot of Twitter comments May 2015_

£400k payout? I'd pose naked on the beach for that!

Get your facts right she was sunbathing in a bikini

And the money went to some charity

From the photos of her at the youth centre, she's not doing much shopping. Does she own more than one pair of jeans?

Why isn't Ken volunteering with her?

Haven't' seen much of him at all lately, are they still dating?

She's clearly practicing for when she's a real princess

Or maybe she's just being nice….

Cinderella looked better in her bikini than those jeans!

Bit goody-two-shoes isn't it? This charity stuff? Reckon they paid her?

It's a stunt. Bet the whole thing's staged and it's not even Rilla. #RillaWatch#

Just be nice having time off work to swan about playing princess. Shame she doesn't look the part.

Ffs what year is this?! Pretty sure women can wear and do whatever they want even if they date princes #SupportforRilla

Thought our taxes were going to keeping the monarchy in money? So why the return of #RaggedyRilla ?

Apparently it has to be said. Well done Rilla! #RillaRally

Nowt wrong with putting philanthropy before fashion. Let's make #RillaRally trend!

Is the prince fobbing off his good works on his kept Mitzi now? No sign of him helping distressed teens...#wheresKenny

She's having it away with the manager. No one goes to Croydon willingly. #wheresKenny#

While the cats away the mouse will play...and Mitzi's Ken doll is nowhere in sight...#whokilledKenny

Rilla keeping Ken out if the way so she can hog the media #mitzismushroom

Bet Ken's moved on. Cinderilla was never going to last anyway. #justiceforKen #nomoremitzi

Looks like Ken is subbing his charity work out to a foreigner #whereskenny

Cinderella helps teens look as slutty as her #mitzimove

Funny how Cinderilla's all about the media now Ken's not around. Isn't she supposed to be suing them?!

Looks like a libel suit was Ken's last straw. Now he's left his princess to fend for herself. Bet she can't. #whereskenny

So the legal battle was a cunning ploy to cut ties with Mitzi? #sad #whereskenny

Seriously? Rilla steps up as prince goes AWOL and SHE gets blamed?! The 1800s want their social mores back. #RillaRally #wheresKenny

Look out H&M! Cinderilla is bringing tat back. #Rillawatch

Guess it's Carry on Croydon for Rilla and her non-royal bloke while Ken is...somewhere?! #whereskenny

All these people slagging off Ken, bet he's just going the right thing and talking to the parents before popping the question. #noonekilledkenny

Kensington Rilla is slumming it in Croydon. Again #rillawatch

It's #Cinderillasplit, that's what. He's probably licking his wounds in Europe or wherever. #callmeken

Everyone saying she left him...not in a million years. He got bored. Probably off shagging Toppy or something #whereskenny

Look, Ken's in Scotland shooting or something. What do royals even do?! #whereskenny

So Ken's awol. What are we thinking? Peace mission? Ring shopping? Break-up blues? #whereskenny

Clearly he's seeing someone else on the not so sly. #whereskenny. Watch out for #surprisesprog the royal version!

I heard that ken was banned from the youth centre after getting too hands on

Bet the youth centre is too shoddy for actual,royalty. Ken's probably just lazing around on satin cushions or something #whereskenny

Ken must be really dull if Rilla prefers to hang out with poor kids

Is it even an actual youth centre? Do we know? Or has the Mitzi found new love nest (and sausage maker) #Rillawatch

Bet she brings a better class of dope than you can get in Croydon

The question is, does Ken supply the drugs she passes on? #wheresKenn

The question is, does Ken supply the drugs she passes on? #wheresKenny

Nah, that's all the Queen. With her history, she knows where to find the good stuff #royalscandal

Rilla probably learnt all about drugs from her brother. Wasn't he in London recently. Perhaps with a delivery?

God, the Internet is vile. CLEARLY she's going to Croydon because it's the last place to stock George's favourite food. The charity is a bonus #morons #RillaRally

(Picture of Rilla petting local cat)#georgesheartbreak

Honestly, in all this my big question? Why youth? Why not a cat shelter?! #DefendGeorge #Rillawatch #confused

She's abandoning her cat AGAIN and for Croydon? I mean, maybe if it was Sutton or something posh...

Yeah but since no one's asking...does Cinderilla go cattle class or are our taxes paying for first class to Croydon now? #Rillawatch

How did she even hear about a random Croydon centre anyway? Was she sleeping with the owner? #Rillawatch

Okay, so our taxes are going towards the cat sitter. Or she's starving the cat at weekends. Either way #shameCinderilla

Good on Rilla trying to broaden royal horizons. Shame it backfired epically. #whereskenny #RillaRally

Hang on, she lived there before, right? So was she in bed with her landlord then because she is now #Rillawatch

Thought I solved #wherekenny yesterday but it was just the other, blander brother

Ken has better be careful when he does come back. God knows what Rilla has picked up in Croydon #whereskenny

We see more of Porky Persis than we do of Ken

Fesss up: who turned Ken invisible?! #whokilledkenny #whereskenny

Rilla distances herself from rumours of an affair with Teddy...but as far as Croydon?

Look, if Rilla wants to sleep with Teddy I guess that's between them and his brother. But going to Croydon for it? #toofar #Rillawatch


	48. Prince Who?

_Horse&Hound Weekly  
__Bottom right of the front page  
__XX July 2015_

**Prince Who?**

(Grainy photo of Rilla being hugged by Hanson at the equestrian event)

Speculation rises that heir to the British throne, His Royal Highness, Prince Kenneth and his Canadian girlfriend are no more as Rilla Blythe is photographed in the arms of another man. More Inside.

* * *

_Canada Today  
__Your Quarterly Snapshot of all things Canadian  
__Summer 2015_

**Canadian Wedding Snub: High Street not Haute Couture **

(photo of Rilla at Di's wedding, crowd behind her is blurred, Rilla is smiling and laughing at something , next to photo of Rilla at Katie's wedding and at Ken's birthday party.)

Rilla Blythe, girlfriend of the heir to the British throne, Prince Kenneth has been photographed in London wearing vintage Chanel and Dior, instead chose a simple L K Bennett dress for her sister's big day.

Fashion Blog _A Vision in Style_ suggested, "the dress may have been designed not to stand out, let her sister have her day," but we wonder if there is another reason why Ms Blythe was wearing a high street brand.

**Have the golden couple tarnished?**

Rilla Blythe and Prince Kenneth have not been photographed together since February 2015, British tabloids are for once not speculating on the nature of their relationship. Across the pond, however questions are being asked, have the couple spilt? Or is this a public relations plan to withhold images so that al photographers are present when the engagement everyone is waiting for is announced?

The palace did not respond to requests to comment on this story.

* * *

_From the desk of Irene Howard, Twitter: IreneH_SLBeacon  
The Shoreline Beacon  
__XX June 2015__  
_

**Canadian Wedding Snub: Prince No Show at Gay Wedding**

The sun shone brightly for the wedding of Diana Blythe and Nia Carter. Families gathered, guests smiled and cheered. One expected guest, however, was missing.

Rilla Blythe, sister of one of the brides attended without her boyfriend His Royal Highness, The Prince of Wales.

Early security plans for the wedding had inferred that t the prince would be attending. Officially, Prince Kenneth is currently absorbed in royal duties, preparing for the time when he will take the reigns from King Owen. We wonder, however if there was another reason why the prince did not attend.

Same sex marriage has been legal in England and Wales since July 2013 and Scotland since February is still not legal in Northern Island. Does the Prince's no-show imply that Palace does not support gay marriage?

It is well known that the British Royal Family do not comment on politics. The legalisation of same sex marriage, however is a human rights issue. Prince Kenneth is said to be preparing to be King. By not attending, he missed an opportunity to show that his reign will support the rights of all his people in an inclusive way. On a more human level, he missed an opportunity to support his girlfriend at a key family event!

* * *

_Horse & Hound Weekly  
__XX July 2015_

**Prince Who?  
**_(continued from page one)_**  
**

Cross country events for novice horses rarely get press coverage, unless they're being attended by Royalty.

Last weekend, British press photographers were out in force to see Princess Persis trialing horse Blacky, who featured in the BBC's documentary _Princess Persis' Horses. _

It wasn't the photos of the Princess astride the chestnut, however, that had everyone talking the next day. The event's money shot was the princess's brother, the Prince of Wales' girlfriend Rilla Blythe, in the arms of another.

(several photos, taken in succession of Rilla with Hanson's arm around her, and Rilla cuddling in for a good cry).

It seems with the Prince who knows where; his girlfriend has taken comfort in the fatherly arms of his Royal protection officer.

Ms Blythe was traumatised when Blacky, spooked by a spectator with a British flag, shyed and missed a jump, throwing Princess Persis and breaking his own leg. The Princess was rushed to hospital, where she was held overnight for observation. Unfortunately, the stallion did not fare as well. Rilla Blythe held and comforted the horse while vets put him out of his pain, the injuries too great for recovery.

Ms Blythe, having bravely stayed with the horse, was reduced to tears when the protection officer offered her a fatherly arm.

So with apologies for all those royal watchers, no big story here about Rilla and another man. This was merely a comforting shoulder in a time of need. Still no word, however, on where Prince Kenneth was, and why he wasn't available to support his sister at this event.


	49. Ice Princess

_Quick reminder, this is an adjunct to Kslchen's "By a Simple Twist of Faith", who kindly has allowed me to play in her universe. And this week, we have more from our guest journalist DW.618 who brillantly has captured the response to Rilla & Ken's reunion_

* * *

_Live Coverage from Brize Norton, Oxfordshire  
__BBC  
__XX August 2015__  
_

_Presenter 1:_ "Continuing our ongoing coverage of Britain's military involvement in Iraq, today we are focusing on the human aspect of the conflict, the strain on the families left behind, and the joy of being reunited with their loved ones."

_Presenter 2: _"And not just any reunion! Following yesterday's press release we now know The Prince of Wales has been on active service, and will be returning with his unit today, and if I'm not mistaken….."

_Presenter 1: _"You're now….that motorcade means King Owen is here to welcome his son home!"

(Camera shows the motorcade arriving and continues to show coverage of them getting out of their car while the presenters chat.)

_Presenter 1:_ "And Queen Leslie's here too, looking as beautiful as ever, I wasn't sure she was going to be here today and if I'm right, yes that's the Prince's girlfriend Rilla Blythe getting out of the second vehicle."

_Presenter 2: _"Rilla Blythe greeting his Royal Highness alongside the King and Queen, that's quite a statement! I wonder if the Prince of Wales will get down on one knee on the tarmac?"

_Presenter 1 (laughing): _"Doubtful, but I wouldn't be surprised if a Royal Wedding is on the cards for the spring!"

_Present 2: _ "It looks like his Royal Highness is caught up talking to officers, let's focus on the other soldiers returning for a moment"

(Segment cuts away to cover soldiers returning, with children running up to greet fathers; wives and girlfriends jumping into their arms, all very emotional and passionate).

_Presenter 1: _ "Looks like His Royal Highness is ending his conversation now. Look at that motherly anticipation on Queen Leslie's face!"

_Presenter 2: _"And yes, it looks like she's holding on to Rilla Blythe's hand – the two women who love him most waiting to see him. Queen Leslie looks barely able to contain her emotion, Ms Blythe is harder to read."

_Presenter 1: _"King Owen is stepping forward now. It looks today that they are just like any family, being reunited with a loved one. There's Queen Leslie – is she going to cry? ah this is very touching, very touching indeed.

_Presenter 2: _"And now, what we've all been waiting on, the moment Rilla runs into his arms…wait for it, wait for it. Oh, they're just standing there, and…are they chatting?"

_Presenter 1: _ "They're going in for the hug now, Ms Blythe has just stepped forward. Well, that's all very low key. I suppose you'd say dignified?"

(calls from the press for Ken to kiss Rilla)

_Presenter 2: _"It seems the press aren't happy with that reunion, they're asking for a kiss, Prince Kenneth looks like he will…oh, no, Ms Blythe has pulled him away to speak to his brother and sister. Well that's…."

_Presenter 1 _"As promised, we have some details of the work Prince Kenneth has been doing…

(coverage continues about the work of the military.)

* * *

_Good Morning UK^  
__XX August 2015_

Presenter: "It's coming up to 8:20. We here with a panel to discuss the reunion of His Royal Highness the Price of Wales and his long term girlfriend Rilla Blythe. First let's see the video again."

(shows video of Rilla's stilted reunion with Ken)

Presenter: "If I can start with behavioural psychologist Andrea Michaels, what do you make of this low key reunion?"

Andrea: "Although Ms. Blythe's back is to us most of the time and Prince Kenneth's face is hard to fully see, I can determine from their body language that there is tension between them. I am unable to diagnose from this video if that tension is the manifestation of animosity, accumulated worry/fear, or controlled behaviour in front of the press. However, when compared with video of Prince Kenneth and Ms. Blythe's body language (also in front of the press) at their Oxford graduations two years ago, there is a palpable strain being shown in this current video."

Presenter: "Barbara Francis is a well known romance novelist, Barbara, is this what you'd write for your characters?"

Barbara: "If I was writing a scene of lovers reuniting after a deployment, THIS greeting would certainly NOT be what I would write. This would be the sort of reunion that I would stage just before my characters' relationship breaks up."

Presenter: "Break up? We'll keep our eye on this, Angus Montcrief is a Royal writer for the Evening Times. Angus, you're known for your candid views or the royal couple, what do you think?"

Angus: "It is obvious to me that Ms. Blythe has been receiving training from the royals about proper royal etiquette and behaviour. Her schooled reaction to Prince Kenneth's return shows personal interest and affection in a quiet, dignified manner. It would have been very inappropriate for this royal couple to have a large display of affection in public."

Presenter: "All very interesting. Protocol is all very important, but we musn't forget they are people too, we have Susan, the sister-in-law of a military veteran and Camile, an Army wife of 25 years with us, ladies, what do you think?"

Susan: "I'm kind of surprised they didn't kiss right away. If I was her, I sure would have run up and jumped him! But…I know that after my brother-in-law's return (when he and my sister were still dating), my sister was super embarrassed to kiss her boyfriend in front of his parents. If I was Rilla, would I want to kiss in front of the King and Queen? And all of those cameras? Probably not. But, I bet once the limousine doors closed, they were all over each other!"

Camile: "Let's just say, that is not the way I ever greeted my husband on any of our reunions! The lack of a passionate kiss makes me wonder if there is actually any love between these two!"

Presenter: "Well, there you have it. We have all been thinking a royal engagement might be on the cards, but things seem to have cooled. As always, we'll keep you updated as this story develops."

* * *

_From the desk of Andrew Rosemont, Twitter: Rosemont_Sun  
__The Sun  
__XX August 2015_

**Step Aside Elsa, there's a New Ice Princess in Town!**

(photo of Rilla and Ken's hug at the air field)

Royal Romance Trouble has replaced Royal Wedding Speculation! Following the less than romantic reunion of the Prince of Wales and Rilla Blythe the question is being asked, is the romance over?

The Prince of Wales couldn't keep his eyes off his girl friend, as he was introduced to his fellow soldier's families. Ms Blythe, however, who was held firmly by the Prince to his side kept her cool, calm, detached exterior that nothing seemed to crack.

_**Absence makes the heart grow colder**_

(photo of Rilla, laughing, leaving the youth centre with Sam and some of the kids)

Could it be that the Prince's tour of duty was all it took to cool Ms Blythe's adour? Ms Blythe's unemotive response contrasts sharply with the glowing, laughing girl who was recently seen leaving the Croydon Youth Centre, where she has been volunteering. Perhaps, left alone, Ms Blythe has found a new interest in life in the form of her youth work.

_**New Princess Search**_

Prince Kenneth isn't getting any younger. If his relationship with Ms Blythe has indeed cooled, the search will be on for a new royal bride. Turn to page 5 for a list of eligible princesses!

* * *

^Thank you to our guest writer DW.618


End file.
